Barry Manilow explains why he waited decades to come out as gay

During a guest appearance on HBO’s Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace, the 80-year-old Copacabana singer said he didn’t think it was important to announce his sexuality during the earlier decades of his career.

Manilow came out in 2017, almost three years after he married his husband and manager Garry Kief in a private ceremony. The couple have been together for 45 years now, though they’ve kept much of their relationship away from the public eye.

When he came out to People magazine in 2017, Manilow — whose real name is Barry Pincus — worried he’d be “disappointing” some of his fans by revealing his sexuality. Instead, Manilow, who was 73 at the time, said the reaction from his fanbase was “beautiful.”

Garry Kief and Barry Manilow.
Garry Kief and Barry Manilow attend the 2016 Pre-Grammy Gala at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on Feb. 14, 2016, in Beverly Hills, Calif. Steve Granitz/WireImage

Despite his current feelings of nonchalance about his own coming out, Manilow said announcing his sexuality as his career was booming would have been a bad idea.

“Now being gay is no big deal,” he explained. “Back in the ’70s it would have killed a career.”

Regardless, the usually very private Manilow said he thinks “everybody knew that Garry and I were a couple all those years.”

“Really, Garry and I’ve been together for so long,” he said. “It just never dawned on me that we’re going to come out. But when we got married, it was a big deal, so we did.”

Manilow credited Kief for saving his life. He said he is thankful he had Kief to support him as his music career was taking off, despite keeping their relationship under wraps.

“As my career exploded, it was just crazy. And, you know, going back to an empty hotel room, you can get into a lot of trouble if you’re alone night after night after night,” Manilow explained. “But I met Garry right around when it was exploding. And I didn’t have to go back to those empty hotel rooms. I had somebody to cry with or to celebrate with.”

Manilow said he did not wish an isolated hotel room for any young people.

“It was pretty lonely until I met Garry. And then it was fun,” he smiled.

Kief is not Manilow’s first spouse. In 1964, Manilow married his high school sweetheart, Susan Deixler. They were married for one year.

Manilow told CNN’s Wallace he “really did love” Deixler, but added “the gay thing was pretty, pretty strong. I couldn’t deny it.”

The singer said he knew he was gay before marrying Deixler, but their marriage ended because Manilow couldn’t be the committed husband his then-wife needed. He revealed that his sexuality was not the reason his marriage failed.

“We had a very nice marriage, it was great, but I was away every night making music, as a young musician would be,” Manilow described. “It wasn’t good for me, and it wasn’t good for her.”

“I couldn’t be the proper husband,” he continued. “I was out making music every night, sowing my wild oats. I wasn’t ready to settle down.”

Brooklyn-born Manilow skyrocketed to international fame in 1974 after his release of the ever-popular pop-rock ballad Mandy. He became one of the biggest-selling musicians of all time. Prior to his success as a singer-songwriter, Manilow was behind a number of famous commercial jingles for brands like State Farm and Band-Aid — a gig that he has said helped him create catchy hooks for his own hit songs.

Barry Manilow.

My boyfriend found this in his room and now demands explanations. I don’t know what it is and where it came from.

Imagine this scenario: You’re spending time with your boyfriend when suddenly, he finds a small, mysterious wrapper on the floor. He picks it up, his face filled with confusion—and maybe even suspicion. The conversation quickly turns into an interrogation.

“What is this?” he asks. “Why is it in my room?”

The problem? You have no idea what it is, where it came from, or why it’s even there. Sounds like a relationship nightmare, right? Let’s break this situation down, figure out what that object really is, and more importantly—what this situation says about trust in relationships.

What Is This Mysterious Object?

Before we jump into relationship drama, let’s first identify what this little wrapper actually is. Based on the image, the object appears to be the torn wrapper of a feminine hygiene product—most likely a sanitary pad or panty liner.

How can we tell?

The symbols on the wrapper feature multiple female gender symbols (♀), which are commonly associated with women’s hygiene products. The glossy, plastic-like material of the packaging is characteristic of disposable sanitary products. The size and shape resemble what you’d expect from a wrapper for a pad or liner.

Why Would This Be in His Room?

Now that we know what the item is, let’s explore the possible explanations for its presence in his space.

One possible reason is that it belongs to you, but you simply forgot about it. If you use products with similar packaging, it’s entirely possible that you left it there at some point. Maybe you brought a few with you in your bag, changed one while visiting his place, and accidentally left a wrapper behind.

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Another explanation is that a female friend or family member was there. Not every woman in your boyfriend’s life is a romantic interest. If he has sisters, female friends, or roommates, one of them could have used his bathroom and left the wrapper behind. If he lives in a shared space, this explanation is even more likely.

It’s also possible that it’s from a previous partner. If you and your boyfriend haven’t been dating for long, this wrapper could be from before you were together. Maybe an ex visited his place, and this was left behind unnoticed. In this case, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything suspicious—it could just be an unfortunate leftover from the past.

Of course, there’s always the chance that someone else was in his room. If none of the above explanations make sense, then this raises some bigger questions. Could it belong to another woman he recently had over? If he’s accusing you without even considering that possibility, it might be time to turn the tables and ask him the same question.

Red Flag or Overreaction?

Let’s be real—if your boyfriend immediately jumps to accusations without considering rational explanations, this could be a red flag in the relationship. Trust and communication are key, and if he’s quick to assume the worst, that could indicate deeper insecurities or control issues.

Here are a few ways to gauge whether his reaction is normal or concerning:

A healthy response would be if he asks you casually if you know where it came from, listens to your answer, and moves on when the explanation makes sense.

A toxic response, however, would be if he aggressively accuses you of cheating, refuses to consider alternative explanations, or starts checking your phone for “evidence.”

If his reaction leans more toward the second category, it might be time to evaluate whether this relationship is built on trust or unnecessary suspicion.

How to Handle This Situation

If you’re in this situation, don’t panic. Instead, follow these steps to de-escalate the conversation and figure out what’s really going on.

Stay calm and logical. Your boyfriend may be reacting emotionally, but you don’t have to. Respond with a level-headed approach and suggest possible explanations. If you truly don’t know where it came from, be honest about that too.

Ask questions. If he’s demanding answers, turn the question around. “I have no idea where this came from—do you?” This might make him stop and consider his own experiences and interactions.

Remind him of the other possibilities. If he immediately assumes cheating, remind him that there are other explanations. Sisters, roommates, female guests—there’s a list of possibilities that don’t involve betrayal.

Evaluate his reaction. Is he genuinely trying to understand, or is he just looking for a reason to fight? If it’s the latter, this could be a sign of deeper trust issues in your relationship.

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Final Thoughts: Should You Be Worried?

At the end of the day, this situation isn’t just about a random piece of trash—it’s about trust, communication, and how your partner reacts to uncertainty. A healthy relationship means giving each other the benefit of the doubt, not jumping to conclusions over something as small as a wrapper.

So, if your boyfriend is willing to listen and understand, this is just a funny misunderstanding. If he’s accusing you without reason, it might be time to have a deeper conversation about trust.

What do you think? Have you ever been in a situation like this? Drop your thoughts in the comments below and share your experience!

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