Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
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82-year-old Martha Stewart is being attacked online after people spotted a detail in her new photo. I love Martha, but after seeing it, I’m not sure where I stand… Story in comments…
One of the names that springs to mind when we think of strong, accomplished women is Martha Stewart.
She is not only a well-known TV personality but also a writer, businesswoman, self-made billionaire, and former fashion model.
This amazing woman is 82 years old, but she still lives life to the fullest.
She garnered a lot of attention when she bravely posed in skimpy bikinis for the Sports Illustrated cover last year. She received recognition for her courage, amazing physique, and positive energy.
But when she recently shared some pictures from her vacation to Greenland’s east coast, one of them infuriated her supporters.
“End of the first zodiac cruise from @swanhelleniccruises into a very beautiful fjord on the east coast of Greenland,” the caption reads, beside a picture of Stewart sipping a cocktail. In fact, we managed to catch a tiny iceberg for our cocktails this evening.
Her use of the term “small iceberg” to describe her drink surely wasn’t intended to enrage her admirers, but it did make them angry.
People quickly began criticizing her article in the comments section, pointing out that she had mentioned a little iceberg at a time when the “ice caps are melting.”
One Instagram user said, “Martha, the ice caps are melting. Don’t put them in your drink.”
Another said, “I generally love Martha and the excesses of her life because he’s about beautiful gardens, homes, and food, but it’s a bit tone deaf for wealthy white people to be drinking their iceberg cocktails while the planet is burning.”
Thus, millionaires take vacations to the melting icebergs, scoop them up, and use them to keep their cocktails icy as the climate warms as a result of the riches of a few thousand people. That sentence has the feel of one from a dystopian book. Can’t make this stuff up, haha,” a third said.
“Even with global warming and ice caps disappearing, we still need glacier ice for cocktails? Discuss tone def. Been a lover for years, but lately, when I’m having trouble buying groceries, I’ve seen enough caviar that I’m out,” a fourth person commented.
Generally speaking, a lot of people adore Martha.
She claimed on the Today show, “I didn’t starve myself, but I didn’t eat any bread or pasta for a couple of months,” in reference to the Sports Illustrated cover she posed for.
“It was amazing that I went to Pilates every other day, and I’m still going because it’s that good. In any case, I lead a clean life that includes a nutritious diet, regular exercise, decent skincare, and other habits.
During her keynote address at the Las Vegas event, she also discussed the reaction of the audience to the “authentic” cover.
According to Stewart, “the response was really encouraging because it gave women of all ages the confidence to believe that they could succeed too.”
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