According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Abandoned Puppy Becomes the Angel a Grieving Old Man Prayed For
After losing his wife and son, 91-year-old Burt had given up on miracles. But everything changed when a puppy abandoned in a cardboard box crossed his path. Two years later, when that same dog disappeared, Burt’s journey to find him uncovered a miracle far greater than he could have imagined.
The autumn wind rustled through the leaves as Burt shuffled along the familiar path to the church, his weathered cane tapping against the sidewalk. At 91, every step was deliberate, and every breath a reminder of the long life he’d lived… mostly alone.
The morning fog hung low, wrapping the street in a pearl-gray blanket when a sound caught his attention. A squeaky whimper, barely audible, drifted from a rain-soaked cardboard box by the roadside.
A sad older man walking on the road | Source: Midjourney
Burt’s arthritic knees protested as he bent down to investigate. Inside, a tiny black and white puppy shivered, its eyes large and pleading. A crumpled note was taped to the box: “Take care of him!”
The old man’s heart, hardened by decades of solitude after losing his wife Martha and their son James in that terrible car crash, softened at the sight of the helpless creature.
“Well,” he whispered, “I suppose the Lord works in mysterious ways.”
A sad little puppy abandoned in a cardboard box on the roadside | Source: Midjourney
Burt gathered the puppy in his trembling hands, tucked it inside his coat, and returned home. The church could wait… this little soul needed him more.
He named the puppy Sebastian. It was the name Martha had always said they’d give to their second child before fate had other plans.
Something about the little fellow’s gentle eyes reminded him of Martha’s kindness, and the name just felt right. “I hope you like me, little one!” Burt said as the pup wagged his little tail.
From that first day, Sebastian filled Burt’s silent house with unexpected joy and hearty barks.
A cute puppy playing with his chewy toy | Source: Midjourney
Sebastian grew into a handsome dog with a distinctive white patch shaped like a star on his chest. He had a habit of bringing Burt his slippers every morning and sitting beside him during afternoon tea as if he knew exactly what the old man needed.
For two years, they were inseparable. Sebastian became Burt’s reason to wake up, venture outside, and smile again. The dog would wait by the window when Burt went to get groceries, his tail wagging so hard his whole body shook when the old man returned.
Their evening walks became a neighborhood fixture — the stooped figure and his faithful companion, moving slowly but contentedly along the twilight streets.
Grayscale shot of an older man walking his dog | Source: Pixabay
Then came that terrible Thursday in October.
Sebastian had been acting restless all morning, his ears perking up at something only he could hear. The neighborhood strays were particularly vocal that day, their barks echoing from the direction of the old park by the high school.
A female dog in heat, Burt would later learn, had drawn many of the local dogs to that area. Sebastian kept rushing to the window, whining softly, his tail twitching as he paced by the door.
Burt wasn’t too worried at first. Sebastian had always been well-behaved, never one to wander.
A curious dog looking through the window | Source: Midjourney
“Settle down, boy,” Burt had said fondly, reaching for the leash. “We’ll go for our walk after lunch.”
But Sebastian’s agitation only grew. When Burt let him out into their fenced yard as usual, the dog immediately ran to the far corner, standing alert and listening to the distant barking. Burt went inside to fix their lunch, and when he called Sebastian 15 minutes later, there was no response.
The gate was ajar. Burt found a mail in the mailbox. But Sebastian was nowhere to be found. Had the postman left the gate open? Panic seized Burt’s chest as he searched the yard, calling Sebastian’s name with increasing desperation.
A startled older man standing outside his cottage | Source: Midjourney
Hours stretched into days. Burt barely ate or slept, spending endless hours on his porch, clutching Sebastian’s worn leather collar. The nights were the worst. The silence that had once been his constant companion now felt like a gaping wound in his soul, raw and bleeding with every tick of the grandfather clock.
Every creak of the floorboards made him look up, hoping to see Sebastian trotting in with that apologetic look dogs get when they know they’ve worried their humans.
When his neighbor Tom rushed over with news of a dead dog on the highway, Burt felt the ground disappear beneath his feet, his heart shattering into a thousand tiny pieces.
A heartbroken older man overwhelmed with shock and grief | Source: Midjourney
The relief at discovering it wasn’t Sebastian was immediately followed by guilt. He couldn’t leave another creature unmourned, so he buried the unknown dog, saying a prayer for its family wherever they were.
The missing posters he put up around town told their own story of love and loss:
“MISSING: SEBASTIAN. Beloved family member. Black & white dog with star-shaped patch on chest. Reward: A home-cooked meal & endless gratitude. Contact: Burt, Door No. A31, Maple Avenue, Oak Street.”
Some people smiled sympathetically at the modest offer, but Burt’s famous pot roast was all he had to give. When nobody contacted him, Burt pushed open the heavy doors of the police station, clutching Sebastian’s favorite chew toy in his trembling hands.
A poster with a missing dog’s photo nailed to a tree | Source: Midjourney
“He’s my only family…” The desk sergeant barely looked up from his computer as Burt explained his situation, his voice quavering with desperation. A few officers lounging nearby exchanged smirks.
“Sir,” the sergeant sighed, “we’ve got three ongoing missing persons cases, two armed robberies, and a hit-and-run to solve. We can’t spare resources to look for a dog that probably just ran away.”
One of the officers chuckled. “Maybe he found himself a girlfriend!” he said, drawing snickers from his colleagues. Burt’s shoulders slumped, each laugh feeling like a knife in his heart. He turned to leave, his cane scraping against the linoleum floor, when a gentle voice called out.
“Sir! Hold on!”
A disheartened older man | Source: Midjourney
The dismissive laughter at the police station cut deep, but young Officer Charlie’s kind eyes held understanding. Though he couldn’t officially help, he promised to keep an eye out during his patrols and took Burt’s phone number.
“My grandmother,” he said quietly, “she lived alone with her dog. I understand what this dog means to you, sir. I really do.”
Two weeks after Sebastian’s disappearance, Burt’s hope faded. His joints ached more than usual, perhaps from all the walking he’d done searching for Sebastian or maybe from the weight of grief settling back into his bones.
He sat in his armchair, looking at the empty dog bed in the corner, when his rotary phone rang.
A rotary phone on the table | Source: Pexels
It was Officer Charlie, speaking quickly, excitement in his voice. “Mr. Burt? I’m off duty, but I was hiking in the woods near Old Miller’s property, and I heard barking coming from somewhere below the ground. There’s an abandoned well out there… it’s been partially covered with boards, but there’s a gap. I think… I think you should come out here.”
Burt’s hands shook so badly he could barely grip his cane. He hurried to his neighbor Tom’s house to ask if Tom could drive him to the woods. Tom agreed, and the two left in his car. When they arrived at the woods, they found Charlie waiting with ropes and flashlights. The young officer had already called the fire department but couldn’t wait for them to arrive.
“He’s down there, Mr. Burt. I saw the white star-like patch on his chest when I shined my light down.”
Burt burst into tears, his fragile voice trembling as he called out to Sebastian. “My boy… are you alright down there? Can you hear me? Just… just give me a sign. Please.”
“Woof! Woof!” The familiar bark echoed from the well, lifting Burt’s weary spirit and flooding his heart with hope.
An abandoned well | Source: Pexels
The next hour was a flurry of activity. The fire department arrived with proper equipment, and a young firefighter was carefully lowered into the dry, abandoned well.
Word of the rescue spread quickly, and soon, people from across town gathered at the scene. The crowd held their breath as they heard movement below, and then a familiar bark echoed from the darkness.
Burt fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face.
An anxious older man in the woods | Source: Midjourney
When they finally pulled Sebastian up, he was thin and muddy but very much alive. He’d likely been surviving on rainwater at the bottom of the well. The moment they set him down, he bolted straight to Burt, nearly knocking the old man over with the force of his love.
Sebastian’s tail wagged so hard it seemed to blur, and he covered Burt’s face with frantic kisses, whimpering as if trying to tell his story all at once.
“My boy,” Burt sobbed, burying his face in Sebastian’s dirty fur. “My precious, precious boy. I missed you. You scared me.” The gathered crowd wiped away tears, watching the reunion unfold.
A dog running in the woods | Source: Midjourney
An elderly woman stepped forward from the crowd, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.
“I’ve been watching Mr. Burt walk past my house every day for the past two weeks,” she said to no one in particular, her voice quivering. “Every evening, calling that dog’s name until his voice gave out. I’ve never seen such devotion. Such love. Such compassion.”
“Sebastian,” Burt whispered, still holding his dog close. “I thought I’d lost you forever, just like I lost them.” His voice broke on the last word, and Officer Charlie knelt beside them, placing a gentle hand on Burt’s shoulder.
“Sir,” Charlie said softly, “let’s get you both home. Sebastian needs food and rest, and so do you.”
Cropped shot of a cop | Source: Pexels
As Tom helped Burt to his feet, the old man turned to Charlie with tears still streaming down his weathered face. “Young man,” he said, gripping Charlie’s hand, “thank you so much. You have no idea what you’ve just returned to me.”
Charlie’s eyes misted as he replied, “My grandmother… before she passed last year, she told me stories about her dog from when she was young. She’d say, ‘Charlie, sometimes angels have four legs.’ When I saw your missing posters, I kept thinking about her.”
“Angels have four legs,” Burt repeated, looking down at Sebastian, who hadn’t moved more than an inch from his side. “Martha used to say something similar. She’d tell our James that dogs are God’s way of reminding us that love speaks without words.”
A dog in the woods looking up at someone | Source: Midjourney
One of the firefighters approached, helmet in hand. “Mr. Burt, we should get Sebastian checked out by a vet. Would you like us to call someone?”
“I know a vet who makes house calls,” Tom interjected. “She’s my daughter’s friend. I’ll give her a call right now.”
As they made their way back through the woods, an elderly man from the neighborhood spoke up. “Burt, you mentioned a home-cooked meal as a reward on your posters. Well, I’d say Officer Charlie here has earned it!”
Burt straightened his shoulders, some of his old dignity returning. “Indeed he has. And not just Charlie. All of you… you all came out here to help find my boy.”
His voice trembled as he looked at the gathered faces. “I’ve lived in this town for 63 years, most of them alone. I thought I was forgotten, just an old man with his dog. But today…” He paused to compose himself.
An emotional older man smiling | Source: Midjourney
“Nobody’s forgotten, Mr. Burt,” Charlie said firmly. “Nobody should be forgotten.”
“Then please,” Burt said, addressing the crowd, “all of you come to dinner tomorrow. It might be a tight squeeze in my little cottage, but Martha always said a home expands to fit the love inside it.”
As they reached the edge of the woods, Sebastian stopped and looked up at Burt, his tail wagging slowly. Despite his ordeal, his eyes held the same devotion they’d shown since that first day Burt found him in the cardboard box.
“You know,” Burt said, his voice laced with emotion, “during these past two weeks, I kept thinking about that note in the box. ‘Take care of him,’ it said. But the truth is, he’s been taking care of me all along.”
Charlie smiled, helping Burt navigate a rough patch of ground. “Sometimes, Mr. Burt, that’s exactly how family works.”
Nostalgic picture of an abandoned puppy in a box bearing a note | Source: Midjourney
The following evening, Burt’s small cottage was filled with more people than it had seen in decades. True to his word, he prepared a feast — his special pot roast, Martha’s recipe for apple pie, and all the fixings. Officer Charlie tried to decline the reward, but Burt insisted.
“A promise is a promise,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “Besides, it’s been too long since this house heard laughter.”
Sebastian moved from person to person, accepting gentle pats and sneaked bits of pot roast, but he always returned to press against Burt’s leg as if reassuring both of them that he was really home. The old man’s hands slightly shook as he served his guests, but his smile was steady and true.
A delighted older man holding a tray of pie | Source: Midjourney
Later that night, after everyone had gone home, Burt sat in his armchair with Sebastian curled up at his feet. The dog had been bathed and checked by a vet, who declared him dehydrated and hungry but otherwise unharmed. A miracle, they called it.
But Burt knew better — it wasn’t just a miracle that had brought Sebastian back to him. It was the kindness of a young police officer who took the time to care, the strength of a community that came together to help, and the resilient spirit of a dog who never gave up trying to come home.
He reached down to scratch behind Sebastian’s ears, and the dog looked up at him with those same trusting eyes that had peered out of a cardboard box two years ago.
“You know,” Burt said softly, “Martha always said that family finds each other, one way or another. Guess she was right, as usual.”
An older man gently stroking a dog on his head | Source: Midjourney
Sebastian’s tail thumped against the floor in agreement, and Burt felt the last traces of loneliness melt away. His house was no longer filled with just silence and memories… it was now home to second chances, to love found and lost and found again, and to the quiet miracle of two hearts beating in perfect sync.
That night, for the first time in two weeks, both man and dog slept peacefully, each knowing the other was exactly where they belonged.
An older man hugging his beloved pet dog to sleep | Source: Midjourney
Leave a Reply