According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Man Hears His Dog Barking from Afar, Finds It Sitting near an Abandoned Baby – Story of the Day
Jack checked on his dog Ralph who kept barking on the street, only to discover an abandoned baby with him. The baby turns out to be a very special girl who would change Jack’s life forever.
Despite being a wealthy man, Jack was known as one of the kindest and most generous people in town. He could have had it all until three months ago when he discovered his wife had been cheating on him with his best friend.
Jack divorced his wife, and she moved to a different state with his now ex-best friend. He didn’t let the incident harden his heart, and he remained kind towards everyone around him. However, everybody knew that he was quite a lonely man no matter how kind and friendly he was.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
To ease his loneliness, Jack got himself a dog and named it Ralph. “At least you won’t betray me, right Ralph?” he said once he got him, smiling through the pain.
As he was a busy man, Jack had Ralph trained to behave. He would allow Ralph the freedom to run in their backyard in the afternoons, and once he grew tired, the adorable dog would find its way back inside the house.
One day, he let Ralph outside. He was watching a movie on TV when he realized Ralph had not returned home yet. He stepped out and heard the dog barking from afar.
Jack ran over the fence to get closer. Once he reached the road, he saw Ralph next to a baby lying on the grass.
“You poor child,” he said, saddened that someone would leave a helpless baby out on the street. He checked around the area for a bag that might have belonged to the child, but there wasn’t any. A tiny baby was crying, lying in a basket, while my dog sadly nudged her with his nose, as if out of sympathy. Inside the basket, I found a note. I read it with a heavy sigh.
“Don’t look for her parents. This child is yours now. Take care of her.”
Before taking her home, he went to the nearby convenience store and purchased baby milk and diapers so that he could properly care for the child. When they got home, he fed her and changed her diapers. Then he called the police and reported the incident.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“This poor baby was left alone on the street with nothing but her clothes. There were no other adults in the area, so I took her in,” Jack explained.
The police said that they would check CCTV footage in the area to find her parents. However, they were to search for foster parents for the baby for now.
After hearing this, Jack didn’t hesitate. “Can I become her guardian?” he asked. “I run my businesses from home, so I wouldn’t have any problems taking care of her.”
The police got a couple more details and proof of identification from Jack, and they allowed the little girl to live with him. Jack took care of her for months, and when it was determined that her parents could not be identified, she was up for adoption.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
As soon as he could, Jack processed the papers needed to adopt the little girl, whom he named Emily, legally.
He raised Emily as his own daughter, even naming her after his mother who also raised him on her own. He loved Emily dearly and provided her with everything she needed and more.
Likewise, Jack was Emily’s hero. She looked up to her dad and always wanted to be around him. Together, they enjoyed every meal together and would go to the park, their favorite ice cream parlors, and the arcade where they spent time a lot of time together.
When Emily turned seven and started going to school, many of the parents and even teachers would note how Jack and Emily looked alike. Even Jack’s friends would say that they “looked like twins.”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
Jack never thought of Emily as his adopted daughter, so he took these as compliments and would simply smile every time someone spoke about their resemblance.
One day, while Emily was playing with Ralph in their backyard, she fell and scratched her head on the pavement. As Jack began to treat the wound with an antiseptic, he noticed an incredible thing.
“Would you look at that, sweetheart? We have the same birthmark!” he said, surprised. He never noticed Emily’s birthmark before because her hair covered it.
“We were always meant to be together, dad,” she said, wiping her tears away and smiling at her dad.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
Curious about how this could happen, Jack decided to do a DNA test. He took a sample of Emily’s hair and sent it alongside his own. He didn’t think much of it, but he was stunned when the results came about three weeks later.
The test showed a 99.9% match that Emily was his daughter. He had always been a loyal man, so it only meant one thing – his ex-wife had been pregnant with his child.
He decided to give her a call, and she answered. “What do you want, Jack?”
“Why didn’t you tell me we had a daughter?” he asked her as soon as she answered.
“I didn’t want to raise your child, nor did I want to see you ever again, so I left her on the road. I knew you’d find her anyway. Bye now, and please don’t ever call me again,” she said before putting down the phone.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
Jack couldn’t believe it and was in tears. While knowing that Emily was actually his biological daughter did not affect his love for her, he was glad to know that he was able to care for his own daughter.
“What’s wrong, dad?” Emily asked after she saw her dad crying.
“Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart. I’m just really happy,” he explained. “Remember what dad told you? That you were sent to me from heaven even though I was not your real dad?” he asked her.
Emily nodded. “You are my real dad, dad. Don’t forget that,” she corrected him.
“Yes, sweetheart. I am your real dad. These DNA results prove that” he said, handing her the paper.
“I told you, dad. We were always meant to be together,” Emily said, hugging him.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
A few years later, Jack found love again. Having been present in all of Emily’s school activities, he eventually fell in love with one of her teachers.
Two years after they got married, Emily gained a baby sister. Emily took on being a big sister with a lot of pride and joy.
Since then, Jack, Emily, and the rest of their family have lived peacefully and happily. They valued their time together as a family more than anything. This prompted Jack to retire early to spend more time with his children.
What can we learn from this story?
- Experiencing hardships should not harden our hearts. No matter how painful it was for Jack to lose his wife and his best friend after they betrayed him, he didn’t allow it to embitter him. Instead, he picked himself back up and found ways to cope while remaining kind, generous, and truthful.
- It’s never too late to start again. Jack never imagined ever having a family after what happened to him, but Emily entered his life and taught him what true love means. Through his healthy relationship with his daughter, he was hopeful that he’d be able to find love again, and he eventually did.
Share this story with your loved ones. It might inspire them and make their day.
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