According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Dog was abandoned in the park – now he delights senior citizens in his new home
While it is always tragic to see a dog abandoned, many of these abused animals are fortunate enough to find wonderful new homes where they can live out their lives.
For example, a dog who was left behind in a park earlier this year is now making the most of some rather unique new settings.
The Associated Humane Popcorn Park Shelter in Forked River, New Jersey, adopted Paulie, a pitbull who was four and a half years old, after he was left behind at a nearby park in February.
Paulie’s past was unknown, but based on his ability to walk on a leash, sit on command, and “plop himself down on the first soft bed or blanket that he sees in a room,” it seemed he had lived in a “decent home” at some point.
The shelter commented, “How in the world could this adorable little pudge-pot of a dog get dumped and abandoned in a city park?” “We’ll never know, but fortunately he was rescued before he was in danger.”
He is the “sweetest and most mellow guy,” according to them, who is gregarious and enjoys belly massages.
Paulie found a devoted new home on March 8. “With him, I truly struck it lucky,” the adopter wrote on Facebook. “I’ve owned a number of dogs over the years, but this one is unique. I never thought I would adopt a dog who is so loving, so submissive, and an all-around wonderful dog.”
According to Paulie’s new owner, the dog gets along well with his 16-month-old granddaughter and even goes to work with him, where he does a particular task that makes elderly residents happy!
Pictures of Paulie with his new family and senior citizen buddies show him soaking in the love. In one picture, the placid dog is seen lying close to the feet of an elderly woman, perhaps ready to request a belly rub.
“He makes them grin for the four hours I’m there, when I tell you. The owner remarked, “I’m not sure who loves it more, them or him.
“Whoever advises against getting a pitbull may not be as correct as they seem. Wait till you have one before you judge them.
The shelter expressed their delight at the joyful conclusion, stating that they “couldn’t be happier for Paulie and his new family” and that everything turned out perfectly in the end, despite the tragic circumstances surrounding his abandonment.
“Paulie must have been very sad on the day he was left alone in a city park, but little did he know that was the best day of his life.” Why? It brought him to this,” they penned. “He’s getting even by living the best life he’s ever had!”
We’re overjoyed that Paulie has found such a wonderful new home and is making seniors happy! Please tell this tale!
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