According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
I Let My Husband’s Best Friend Have Her Wedding on Our Property, but She Suddenly Uninvited Me the Day Before
My husband’s best friend wanted the perfect wedding venue and chose our property. I gladly let her have her big day at our home, free of charge. I spent months helping with decorations, vendors, and even the cake. But the day before the wedding, she UNINVITED me… for the most ridiculous reason.
I stood in our backyard, surveying the space where Nancy’s wedding would take place the next day. The white chairs were arranged in neat rows facing the oak tree, where she and Josh would exchange their vows against the backdrop of rolling hills and a glistening lake…
A breathtaking wedding venue | Source: Midjourney
Peter and I had bought this property three years ago, and it truly was something special.
“It looks amazing, Evelyn,” he said, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. “Nancy’s going to be thrilled.”
I leaned back against his chest. “I hope so. I’ve been planning this for months.”
“You’ve gone above and beyond. Most people would have just offered the venue.”
“Well, she’s your best friend. And I wanted her day to be perfect.”
A delighted woman | Source: Midjourney
Peter kissed the top of my head. “That’s why I love you… you always think of others.”
“They should be here soon for the rehearsal. I just want to make sure everything’s ready.”
“Trust me, it is,” he said, giving me a reassuring squeeze. “You’ve thought of everything.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so… you’re amazing.”
A man smiling | Source: Midjourney
The sound of tires on gravel interrupted our moment. Nancy and Josh arrived.
“They’re here!” I said, feeling a rush of excitement. “I can’t wait to show her everything.”
Nancy stepped out of her car, and her fiancé followed, looking slightly overwhelmed as always.
“There’s my beautiful bride!” I called out, walking toward them with open arms.
A woman standing near her car | Source: Midjourney
Nancy gave me a quick, stiff hug. “The chairs are all wrong.”
I blinked, taken aback. “What do you mean?”
“I wanted them in a semicircle, not straight rows. Did you not get my text?”
I pulled out my phone, checking for messages. “I don’t see anything about a semicircle.”
She sighed dramatically. “Whatever. We can fix it. Where are the flowers?”
“They’re being delivered tomorrow morning, fresh as we discussed.”
A truck loaded with assorted flowers | Source: Pexels
Nancy frowned. “I hope they get the colors right this time. The sample bouquet was all wrong.”
Behind her, Josh gave me an apologetic smile. We had barely spoken since arriving. A delivery truck rumbled up the driveway, followed by two more vehicles.
“Finally,” Nancy muttered, then raised her voice. “Over here! Start unloading everything!”
She turned to me, her face suddenly serious. “We need to talk.”
“Sure, what’s up?” I asked, still smiling.
Nancy grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the others.
A frustrated woman looking at someone | Source: Midjourney
“What’s going on?” I asked, confused by her intensity.
Her expression hardened into something I’d never seen before. “Look, Evelyn, you gave us the venue… it’s nice and all. But listen, I don’t want you at the wedding tomorrow.”
“What?” I stared at her, certain I had misheard.
“You heard me,” she said, her voice cold and detached. “I don’t want you there.”
“I don’t understand. Why?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh come on! You know WHY.”
I shook my head, genuinely confused.
A stunned woman | Source: Midjourney
“Why didn’t anyone tell me you used to date Josh?” she demanded.
The realization hit me like a slap. Josh and I had a brief college fling, but it ended, and we went our separate ways. We never spoke again until Nancy introduced him at their engagement, and even then, our conversation never went beyond a simple “hi” or “hello.”
“That? That was nothing. A stupid college thing over a decade ago. We weren’t even serious… it didn’t last, and we stayed acquaintances. It wasn’t even worth mentioning.”
Silhouette of a romantic couple | Source: Unsplash
“Well, I don’t care,” Nancy snapped. “It’s MY day, and I don’t want some woman who used to sleep with my fiancé standing around, making it weird. So yeah, you’re NOT coming.”
The words hung between us as my mind struggled to process what was happening.
After everything I’d done—the months of planning, the countless hours spent helping her choose decorations, the cake tastings, and the vendor meetings… she was uninviting me from a wedding on my OWN property?
A picturesque outdoor wedding setting | Source: Unsplash
“Nancy, you can’t be serious. This is my home.”
“And I’m grateful you let us use it,” she replied with a dismissive wave. “Peter can still come, of course. Just not you.”
“After everything I’ve done for your wedding??”
“Which I appreciate. But this is non-negotiable.”
An annoyed woman looking at someone | Source: Midjourney
Before I could respond, she turned toward the delivery crew and snapped her fingers. “Go ahead and start unloading everything!”
The casual way she commanded people on my property, right after uninviting me from the celebration, was surreal. I stood frozen, unable to form a coherent response.
Then I felt Peter’s hand on my shoulder. The warmth of his touch grounded me.
“Everything okay here?” he asked, his eyes moving between Nancy and me.
Nancy’s smile returned instantly. “Just girl talk.”
A suspicious man | Source: Midjourney
“She doesn’t want me at the wedding,” I said flatly.
Peter’s posture stiffened. “What?”
“Don’t make it a big deal,” Nancy sighed. “It’s just that I recently found out she and Josh used to date, and it makes me uncomfortable.”
“Hold on,” Peter said, his voice sharp. “So let me get this straight… you’re fine using our home for free, my wife has spent months helping you with this wedding, but now you’re BANNING her from attending?”
Nancy huffed and crossed her arms. “Don’t be so dramatic. It’s not a big deal. She just needs to respect my wishes on my wedding day.”
An angry woman | Source: Midjourney
Peter let out a cold laugh that sent chills down my spine. In the seven years we’d been together, I’d rarely seen him angry.
“Then maybe you should find somewhere else to have it.”
Nancy’s eyes widened in outrage. “You’re JOKING, right? The wedding is tomorrow! Where else am I supposed to have it?! You can’t just kick us out like this!”
“Actually, I can,” Peter replied. “And I just did.”
A man smirking | Source: Midjourney
Nancy’s face flushed red. “You two are the MOST selfish people I’ve ever met! After everything I’ve been through, you should be GRATEFUL I even invited you in the first place! This isn’t about you! It’s about ME! You owe me this!”
Her voice rose to a screech, attracting attention from the delivery crew and Josh, who hurried over.
“What’s going on?” he asked, looking concerned.
“They’re kicking us out!” Nancy cried, tears suddenly springing to her eyes. “They’re ruining our wedding because your ex-girlfriend is JEALOUS!”
A startled man | Source: Midjourney
I gasped at the accusation. “That’s not true! You just told me I couldn’t come to the wedding… in my own home!”
Josh looked confused. “Wait, what? Why wouldn’t Evelyn come?”
“Because you dated her!” Nancy snapped. “And no one thought to tell me until I heard it from your best friend, Willie!”
Josh’s expression shifted from confusion to disbelief. “You mean our two-month thing freshman year of college? Before I even knew you existed?”
A man overwhelmed with disbelief | Source: Midjourney
“You think you can just pull this at the last minute?” Nancy ignored him, focusing her rage on Peter and me. “Do you know how much money I spent on planning this? You can’t just ruin my wedding because you’re bitter!”
I felt like I’d been slapped. “Bitter? ME?! After I helped with everything?”
Peter stepped forward, placing himself slightly between Nancy and me.
“No, Nancy. You ruined your own wedding the moment you thought you could treat my wife like garbage in her own home.”
Nancy let out a dramatic scoff and turned to Josh. “Do something!”
A woman yelling | Source: Midjourney
Josh shifted awkwardly, his eyes fixed on the ground. It was clear he wanted no part in this.
“JOSH?!”
“Maybe we should talk about this calmly,” he suggested weakly.
“There’s nothing to discuss,” Peter said firmly. “I want you off our property. NOW.”
Nancy’s face contorted with rage. “Fine! I’ll SUE you for this! You can’t do this to me! I will make you both regret it!”
“Good luck with that. Now get off our property.”
A furious man asking someone to leave | Source: Midjourney
For a moment, I thought Nancy might physically attack one of us. Her hands were clenched into fists, and her entire body trembled with fury.
“Nancy,” Josh said quietly, “let’s go.”
“You’re taking their side?” she whirled on him.
“I’m not taking sides. But this isn’t helping.”
She looked around wildly at the half-unloaded trucks, the arranged chairs, and the scattered boxes of decorations. “What am I supposed to do now? The wedding is TOMORROW!”
A furious woman arguing | Source: Midjourney
I felt a twinge of sympathy despite everything. Then I remembered how quickly she decided to ban me from my own home.
“That’s not our problem anymore,” I said.
***
The next hour was chaos. Nancy screamed, cursed, and threw a full-blown tantrum. At one point, she grabbed a box of table settings and hurled it to the ground, sending plates shattering across our driveway.
“You’ll pay for this!” she shrieked. “Both of you!”
Broken ceramic plates on the driveway | Source: Midjourney
Josh finally managed to guide her to the car, whispering something in her ear that seemed to momentarily calm her. As they drove away, the delivery crew stood awkwardly, awaiting instructions.
“You can take everything back,” Peter told them. “The wedding won’t be happening here.”
I spent the rest of the day in a daze, canceling vendors and requesting refunds for everything we paid for. The cake, flowers, and catering were all gone with a few phone calls.
That evening, Peter and I sat on our porch swing, looking out at the half-dismantled wedding setup.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly.
He looked at me, surprised. “For what?”
A heartbroken woman | Source: Midjourney
“For causing all this drama. If I had just told you about Josh…”
“Stop,” he interrupted gently. “You didn’t cause anything. It was such a minor thing, and it happened long ago. Nancy showed her true colors today, and that’s not on you.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder. “Do you think she’ll actually sue us?”
“Let her try. We didn’t sign any contracts. This was a favor for a friend… a friend who turned out not to be one at all.”
A man comforting his sad wife | Source: Midjourney
“I still can’t believe how quickly it all fell apart.”
“Some people are only nice when they get what they want, Evie. The minute you stand up for yourself, the mask comes off.”
***
A week later, we heard through mutual friends that Nancy and Josh had gotten married in a rushed ceremony at a local hotel. The photos showed a much smaller affair than what had been planned at our home.
Surprisingly, Josh texted Peter a few days after.
“Nancy’s still upset, but I wanted to apologize for how everything went down. I should have spoken up more.”
Peter showed me the message but he didn’t reply. Some bridges, once burned, weren’t worth rebuilding.
A man holding his phone | Source: Unsplash
The thing is, I don’t regret a moment of what happened. Because that day taught me something valuable: never compromise your dignity for people who wouldn’t do the same for you.
Some might say we overreacted by canceling Nancy’s wedding at the last minute. But I’ll tell you what’s truly an overreaction—uninviting someone from an event at their own home because of a meaningless college fling from over a decade ago.
In the end, it wasn’t about that ancient history with Josh. It was about respect. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this whole experience, it’s that I deserve at least that much. We all do.
A confident woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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