Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Woman turns her home into hospice for old shelter dogs so they don’t die alone
Even the dogs that may not have much time left should have a loving home. Even though younger puppies frequently take precedence over older dogs, older dogs should have a permanent home to live out their days.
However, one woman has dedicated her life to providing these elderly shelter dogs with a loving final home, converting her house into a sanctuary that is currently home to 80 senior animals.
The 44-year-old Valerie Reid of Hermitage, Missouri, was motivated to care for elderly dogs after a life event made her aware of the challenges that animals encounter as they age.
https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fwhisperingwillowsseniordogsanctuary%2Fposts%2Fpfbid029GinAs2e7Xr9TsEYcMSMuaw9Dt2QC57tBKWhuzuxLaEWCfztdv5S5wzNPwZGQojcl&show_text=true&width=500
As her father battled cancer, SWNS reported that she found it difficult to find a place for her dad’s elderly Doberman. She discovered that no other rescue would take her and that she was already over the city’s pet limit, so she was unable to adopt the dog.
Because of her age, no rescue would take her home, Valerie said, “We looked everywhere for any rescue that would help.”
At last, she managed to find the Doberman a foster home on a farm that took special care of elderly dogs. The dog had a happy ending and lived in peace for an additional year and a half in their care; Valerie found inspiration from the experience that opened her eyes.
She told SWNS, “It got me thinking about what happens to senior dogs who were once beloved pets.” “I became aware of how many dogs there were in need of assistance… It is a genuinely overlooked area in the rescue industry.
Thus, in 2017, Whispering Willows elderly Dog Sanctuary—a non-profit sanctuary for elderly dogs—was established by Valerie and her spouse, Josh. They purchased a 3,000 square foot house near Hermitage, which provided ample space for dozens of canines to pass away peacefully and comfortably.
Dogs older than 12 are accepted. She said to Ozarks First, “Sometimes special needs, sometimes hospice.” “On sometimes, all they come to us for is a place to lay their head and die.”
She clarified that a large number of the dogs had histories of cruelty and neglect, citing the discovery of Peanut, a dog, chained up amid a scorching heat wave.
She said to KY3, “When they come in, they’re very broken-hearted, emotionally or physically.”
Valerie, however, states that her intention is to provide them with a sense of normalcy and trust, as well as a secure permanent residence in which to live out their last days.
“They stay once they arrive. They’re not required to go. Since this is their permanent home, they won’t experience any more stress or loss.
“They know they’re safe when they arrive.”
Over the years, the rescue has expanded significantly; according to SWNS, the hospice currently houses 80 dogs at a time and employs 17 full-time staff members to care for the dogs.
“The sanctuary really grew and expanded beyond my wildest expectations. I adore having so many tiny hearts that reciprocate our love.
According to Valerie, over the years, they have taken care of 790 pets. Because of their advanced age, the dogs frequently die—roughly five of them perish each week, while the same number are adopted.
Valerie takes delight in providing these creatures with a nice environment to pass away, even if her profession can be depressing at times.
“Our goal is to assist individuals in getting ready for their final moments; none of us can predict the future,” she stated to SWNS. We get to bid our seniors farewell in style and with affection. While loving and caring for children is an honor, it hurts nonetheless.
Leave a Reply