There are so many things in the world that we may admire or even get inspired by, but there’s one main thing we may want to fall in love with before we start noticing the beauty of other things. It’s our own reflection in the mirror. Among all the numerous recipes for conjuring up self-love within ourselves, psychologists advise us to never compare ourselves to others and stop caring about other people’s opinions. Actress and producer Lena Dunham knows a lot about cultivating love for her own body despite all the criticism she faced, and she happily shares her journey with us all.
Lena Dunham doesn’t accept the term “body positivity,” and here’s why.
Actress and writer Lena Dunham has recently added another string to her bow and collaborated with the brand 11 Honoré to create a plus-size clothing collection. But the very term “plus size” frustrates Lena, and so is the term “body positivity.” In one of her Instagram posts, she explains that she feels more “body tolerant” than “body positive.”
In her interview, Dunham said, “The thing that’s complicated about the body-positive movement is it can be for the privileged few who have a body that looks the way people want to feel positive. We want curvy bodies that look like Kim Kardashian has been up-sized slightly. We want big beautiful butts and big beautiful breasts and no cellulite and faces that look like you could smack them onto thin women.”
Dunham has a very special relationship with her own body.
Dunhams path to self-love started with a decade-long journey with endometriosis. Since she started her own fight against it, she has been candidly sharing how it influenced both her emotional health and her relationship with her own body image. In her Instagram post, she emotionally described how she fluctuated between loving her body and the opposite.
She wrote, “Ya know when you’re home alone, and you realize you’d be happier in a hot lil’ onesie than your ketchup and cat food stained pajamas? And it’s not about a boy or a photo shoot or a weight loss before-and-after, it’s just for the feeling of glee you get from dressing your one and only corporeal form in pleasing fabrics, the unique pleasure of admiring the twists and turns of the body that loves the heck out of you even when you don’t love it.”
Dunham is powerfully addressing all people who come to her page with criticism.
In 2021, Dunham tied the knot with musician Luis Felber. It was such a darling event for her that she wore 3 wedding dresses to marry her love and shared the photos on her Instagram. However, she started getting some “gnarly” comments in her feed from people who commented on her body and appearance. The actress didn’t hesitate for a minute to address them with a powerful message.
She wrote, “One narrative I take issue with, largely because it’s a story I don’t want other women, other people, to get lodged in their heads, is that I should somehow be criticized because my body has changed since I was last on television. […] But lastly, when will we learn to stop equating thinness with health/happiness?”
Dunham’s powerful message can be echoed in the hearts of many.
For all people who have ever hesitated about embracing their body image, Dunham has some simple yet wise advice. She says, “Of course weight loss can be the result of positive change in habits, but guess what? So can weight gain. The pics I’m being compared to are from when I was with an undiagnosed illness. In the last 4 years, I’ve begun my life as someone who aspires toward health and not just achievement.
These changes have allowed me to be the kind of sister/friend/daughter that I want to be and yes — meet my husband (who, by the way, doesn’t recognize me in those old photos because he sees how dimmed my light was). I say this for any other person whose appearance has been changed with time, illness, or circumstance — it’s okay to live in your present body without treating it as transitional. I am, and I’m really enjoying it. Love you all.”
Do you find Lena Dunham’s example inspiring? What do you love the most about your appearance?
Preview photo credit Steve Granitz / WireImage / Getty Images, lenadunham / Instagram
I Came Home to Find My Kids Outside with Packed Bags, It Was the Hardest Day of My Life
out here with your stuff?”
Jake glanced at his little sister, Emily, who clutched her stuffed rabbit tightly. “You texted us,” he continued, his voice soft. “You said to pack and wait for Dad. He was coming to get us.”
I froze, confusion giving way to panic. “I never sent you a text. Let me see your phone.”
Jake handed me his phone, and as I read the message, my blood ran cold.
“This is your mom. Pack your stuff, take the cash I left, and wait for Dad. He’ll be there soon.”
The words blurred in front of me. I hadn’t sent that message. I’d never tell them to leave. My heart pounded, and a wave of nausea swept over me.
“Mom?” Emily’s voice broke through my panic. Her wide blue eyes searched mine. “Are we going with Dad?”
“No, sweetheart,” I said firmly. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Just as I stood up, trying to figure out what to do, I heard the rumble of a car pulling into the driveway. My blood froze. I turned slowly to see who was behind the wheel.
It was him—Lewis, my ex-husband.
“Kids,” I said, keeping my voice low and steady. “Go inside. Now.”
Jake and Emily hesitated for a moment before grabbing their bags and retreating into the house. I turned to face Lewis, who had already stepped out of his car, wearing that same smug expression I’d grown to despise.
“Well, well,” he sneered. “Leaving the kids alone like this? Great parenting.”
“Are you serious?” I snapped, stepping toward him, my body trembling with anger. “You told them to pack up and wait for you. What are you trying to pull, Lewis?”
He leaned against his car, arms crossed, feigning innocence. “Just looking out for their safety. Maybe if you can’t handle things, they’d be better off with me.”
My anger boiled over. “You lost custody for a reason. Don’t forget that.”
His smirk grew wider. “Maybe that was a mistake.”
Before I could say another word, the front door creaked open. Jake and Emily stood in the doorway, tears streaking their faces, fear written all over them.
“Stop fighting!” Jake’s voice cracked as he pleaded. “Please, Mom. Please, Dad. Stop.”
Seeing their distress, Lewis shrugged, clearly unfazed. Without another word, he got back into his car and sped off, leaving me to pick up the pieces.
As I stood there, watching him disappear down the street, something shifted inside me. I had held it together for the kids, but deep down, I knew this wasn’t over. Lewis wasn’t going to stop. He would keep manipulating them, keep trying to twist the situation in his favor. I had to outsmart him.
I pulled my children into my arms, their tears soaking into my shirt. I made a silent vow to protect them, no matter what it took. I wouldn’t let Lewis turn them against me or make himself the hero in this mess.
I had heard rumors about his new girlfriend, Lisa—a woman who, like everyone else, believed Lewis’s lies about me. He had painted me as the “crazy ex-wife,” the unreasonable one who wouldn’t let him be part of his kids’ lives. But now, I had proof. The fake texts, the custody rulings, years of manipulation—all of it was about to come to light.
Determined, I gathered every piece of evidence I had—messages, legal documents, anything that could expose Lewis for the liar he was. I didn’t want revenge, but I wanted the truth to be known.
I reached out to Lisa, asking if we could meet in private. Surprisingly, she agreed. When we sat down together, I could see the hesitation in her eyes. She was guarded, ready to defend him. But I didn’t approach her with anger. Instead, I calmly laid out the facts, handing her the phone with the fake messages and the legal documents detailing the custody arrangement.
“Look,” I said, my voice steady. “I know what he’s told you about me, but this is the truth.”
Lisa’s eyes widened as she read through the evidence, her confidence wavering. I could see the gears turning in her head, the doubt creeping in.
“I’m not here to ruin your relationship,” I continued. “But I thought you deserved to know who he really is. He’s been manipulating you, just like he manipulated me.”
Lisa glanced up, conflicted. She tried to defend him at first. “He said you were difficult, that you wouldn’t let him see the kids…”
“I’m sure he did,” I said gently. “But the facts speak for themselves.”
She didn’t say much after that, but I could tell she was starting to question everything. It was only a matter of time before she’d realize the truth.
A few weeks later, I heard through a mutual friend that Lisa and Lewis’s relationship was crumbling. She had started confronting him about the lies, and their once-solid bond was unraveling. Small cracks turned into gaping holes, and the web of deception he had spun around her was falling apart.
I didn’t have to lift another finger. The truth had done the work for me.
I didn’t get revenge in the traditional sense, but I got something better—justice. Lewis’s manipulative games had finally caught up with him, and his house of cards was collapsing. It was all I had ever wanted.
And that was enough.
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