Santa’s Favorite Laughs: 11 Christmas Jokes to Brighten Your Holiday

Ho ho ho! Feeling festive? These Christmas jokes will have you laughing louder than Santa’s belly shake. Warning: excessive cheer, snort-laughing, and spontaneous caroling may occur. Proceed with caution… and cookies!

Jingle all the way to laughter! Grab your eggnog and settle in for some holiday hilarity. These jokes are Santa-approved and guaranteed to make you laugh harder than your uncle after too much Christmas pudding.

Santa Claus laughing in the snow | Source: Midjourney

Santa Claus laughing in the snow | Source: Midjourney

1. The Christmas Trap

Mike drummed his fingers on his desk, staring at his phone. His wife Janet gave him a knowing wink from across the room, already struggling to contain her laughter. Time for their annual Christmas scheme.

“Hey kiddo,” Mike said after his 20-year-old son picked up in Fairbanks, trying to sound devastated. “I hate to drop this bomb, but… your mother and I are getting divorced.”

“WHAT?” Ryan’s voice cracked so hard that his neighbor’s cat fell off the windowsill. “Dad, you can’t be serious! You just posted those matching Christmas sweater photos!”

A shocked young man holding a phone | Source: Midjourney

A shocked young man holding a phone | Source: Midjourney

“Dead serious. Can’t stand looking at her cookbooks anymore. Three hundred and forty-two sugar cookie recipes is where I draw the line. Call your sister in Sydney. I’m done talking about it.”

Ryan immediately called his sister Ashley, nearly dropping his phone in his panic. “Dad’s lost his mind! They’re getting divorced over a cookbook!”

“OVER MY DEAD BODY AND EVERY CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT I OWN!” Ashley screeched, making her office plants wilt. She speed-dialed home. “Listen here, old man! Don’t you DARE sign anything! Ryan and I are flying home TONIGHT!”

A shocked woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney

A shocked woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney

Mike hung up and high-fived Janet, and both of them doubled over with laughter. “Works every year. Both kids coming home for Christmas. And they’re buying their own tickets!”

Janet wiped tears from her eyes. “Should we tell them this is how we got them to come to Thanksgiving too?”

“Nah,” Mike grinned. “Let’s save that trick for Easter!”

An older man with a wicked grin | Source: Midjourney

An older man with a wicked grin | Source: Midjourney

2. The Christmas Angel

Eleanor had been working in the Dead Letter Office for five years, but she’d never seen anything quite like this — an envelope addressed simply to “God” in shaky handwriting that looked like it had been written during an earthquake.

Inside was a letter that made her heart squeeze:

“Dear God, I’m Martha, 85 years young and running low on miracles. Some sneaky youngster with unusually fast hands swiped my purse yesterday with my entire month’s pension. $120. I’ve got five dear friends coming for Christmas dinner, and now I can’t even afford a can of cranberry sauce. I know you’re busy with world peace and all, but could you spare a miracle for an old lady with a sweet tooth and empty cupboards? Love, Martha (the one with the crooked garden gnome collection at the end of Maple Street).”

A lady postal services worker reading a letter | Source: Midjourney

A lady postal services worker reading a letter | Source: Midjourney

Eleanor shared the letter with her coworkers. By lunch, they’d collected $116, raiding coffee funds, lunch money, and that secret candy bar stash everyone pretended not to know about.

A week after Christmas, another letter arrived:

“Dear God, You’re a real peach! That $116 you’d left in my mailbox made for the best Christmas dinner ever! My friends said it was divine intervention. I’d say they’re right! Even my arthritis felt better!

P.S. Some sticky-fingered postal worker must’ve skimmed $4 off the top. Might want to look into that. I hear you’ve got connections with Santa’s naughty list! Love, Martha.”

A cheerful older lady enjoying Christmas dinner with her friends | Source: Midjourney

A cheerful older lady enjoying Christmas dinner with her friends | Source: Midjourney

3. North Pole Chaos

“Code Red! Code Red!” Junior Elf Timothy squeaked into the North Pole intercom, his voice cracking like ice in hot cocoa. “Four senior elves down with candy cane flu! The toy production line looks like a modern art exhibition!”

Santa rubbed his temples, watching the trainee elves turn teddy bears into abstract sculptures. Mrs. Claus chose that perfect moment to chirp, “Honey, Mother’s coming for Christmas! She’s bringing her entire fruitcake collection… even the one that set off the North Pole airport security!”

In the stables, Rudolph was organizing a reindeer union strike, demanding premium carrots and heated stalls. Dancer was in labor (terrible timing), and Prancer had eloped with a local moose named Bruce who promised her a cabin in the woods.

Startled Santa Claus | Source: Midjourney

Startled Santa Claus | Source: Midjourney

Santa trudged to load the sleigh, only to hear an ominous CRACK! The floor splintered like thin ice, sending toys scattering everywhere like confetti at a New Year’s party gone wrong.

Stumbling inside for coffee, he found the elves had replaced it with sugar-free hot chocolate with a tag that read: “It’s healthier, Boss!” The milk jug slipped from his hands, shattering into a million pieces that sparkled like evil little stars on the kitchen floor. The cleanup broom looked like it had been through a beaver party. Suddenly, the doorbell buzzed.

DING DONG!

Santa Claus holding a broom | Source: Midjourney

Santa Claus holding a broom | Source: Midjourney

Santa yanked open the door, ready to cancel Christmas entirely. There stood a tiny angel, struggling under a massive Christmas tree that made her look like a sprite with an oversized umbrella.

“Special delivery!” she beamed, twinkling with festive cheer. “Where would you like me to stick it?”

And that’s why Christmas trees have angels on top, sporting slightly alarmed expressions and questioning their career choices.

An angel under a Christmas tree | Source: Midjourney

An angel under a Christmas tree | Source: Midjourney

4. Heavenly Volume

Tommy and Jack were spending Christmas Eve at Grandma Rose’s house, famous for her legendary sugar cookies and selective hearing that rivaled military-grade noise-canceling technology.

At bedtime, Tommy (age 6) knelt beside his bed and began his strategic prayer:

“DEAR GOD, I WOULD REALLY LOVE A NEW XBOX…”

“AND A REMOTE CONTROL DINOSAUR THAT ACTUALLY BREATHES FIRE…”

“AND MAYBE A ROCKET SHIP WITH REAL ROCKET FUEL…”

A little boy praying | Source: Midjourney

A little boy praying | Source: Midjourney

Jack (age 8) nudged his brother, rolling his eyes. “Dude, volume control! God’s not streaming on Spotify!”

Tommy shot back with a mischievous grin that would make elves proud. “Yeah, but Grandma is doing her Christmas shopping tomorrow, and her hearing aid’s been acting up since she tried to bluetooth it to her toaster!”

A little boy looking up and laughing | Source: Midjourney

A little boy looking up and laughing | Source: Midjourney

5. The Shopping Surprise

Linda lost track of her husband Dave at the crowded mall during last-minute Christmas shopping. After 20 minutes of searching between the endless sea of panic-buying shoppers, she called his cell.

“Dave, where on earth did you disappear to? The mall closes in an hour!”

“Honey,” his voice softened mysteriously, “remember that fancy jewelry store from our first Christmas together? The one where you fell in love with that stunning sapphire necklace, but we were so broke we could barely afford the window shopping?”

A man talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney

A man talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney

Linda’s heart fluttered, her anger melting faster than a snowman in July. “The one on Fifth Street? Oh my god, Dave… you didn’t…”

“Well,” he paused dramatically, “I’m in the dollar store next door. They’re having a massive sale on gift bags! Three for a dollar! Want me to grab some?”

A woman gaping in shock | Source: Midjourney

A woman gaping in shock | Source: Midjourney

6. The Carol Critic

“Hey Emma,” her little brother Charlie called from the doorway, munching on his third candy cane of the morning. “You should totally join the Christmas choir at school! They’re still accepting applications!”

14-year-old Emma stopped practicing her scales, hope blooming in her eyes. “Really? You actually like my singing? After all this time?”

“Nah,” Charlie grinned, revealing red and white striped teeth. “But they only perform once a year, and I already know which day to wear my noise-canceling headphones!”

A stunned teenage girl holding a songbook | Source: Midjourney

A stunned teenage girl holding a songbook | Source: Midjourney

7. The Gift Switch

At the office Christmas party, Tom was bragging about the amazing gift he got his wife Sarah, waving his phone around with photos.

“Check it out, man. Diamond earrings! Cost me a fortune, but worth every penny!”

His coworker Steve whistled, sipping his fourth cup of spiked eggnog. “But didn’t Sarah specifically ask for that new SUV? The one she’s been hinting about since last Christmas?”

“She did,” Tom smirked, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “But try finding a fake Ford Explorer that’ll fool your mother-in-law!”

A man holding a pair of earrings and laughing | Source: Midjourney

A man holding a pair of earrings and laughing | Source: Midjourney

8. The Budget Tree

“Dad, pleeeease can we get a real Christmas tree this year?” little Jimmy begged for the hundredth time, giving his best puppy dog eyes. “I’m tired of explaining to my friends why our plastic tree smells like a basement and old tennis shoes!”

Frank grabbed his axe and wallet, sighing dramatically while secretly winking at his wife. “Fine. The things I do for Christmas spirit…”

He returned suspiciously quickly with a perfect tree, not a drop of sweat in sight.

A man holding an axe | Source: Midjourney

A man holding an axe | Source: Midjourney

“That was fast,” Jimmy said, eyeing the pristine axe. “Did you even use it?”

“Nope!” Frank grinned proudly. “But the tree lot guy offered a 75% discount when I started examining the trees with it! Sometimes the best lumberjack is the one who never swings!”

A stunned boy | Source: Midjourney

A stunned boy | Source: Midjourney

9. The Biblical Bird

Three brothers — Richie, Steve, and Joe — gathered for their annual post-Christmas brag-fest about their gifts to their 80-year-old mother.

Richie puffed up his chest. “I built her a mansion with an elevator and a meditation room!”

Steve smirked, twirling his car keys. “Amateur. I bought her a Rolls-Royce with a personal chauffeur!”

Joe leaned back, sipping his cocoa. “You guys are so last season. Remember how Mom loves the Bible but can’t see well? I found this amazing parrot that recites the entire Bible on command. Took the church elders twelve years to train him. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse!”

A person in church holding a parrot | Source: Midjourney

A person in church holding a parrot | Source: Midjourney

Their mother’s thank-you notes arrived the next week:

“Dear Richie: The mansion’s lovely, but I’m too old to remember which of the 7 bathrooms I left my glasses in.

Dear Steve: The car’s beautiful, but my driver keeps falling asleep during my stories.

Dear Joe: The chicken was pretty small but delicious! Especially with the sage stuffing!”

Roasted chicken on the table | Source: Midjourney

Roasted chicken on the table | Source: Midjourney

10. The Window Shopping Incident

Karen spotted the perfect Christmas party dress sparkling in the store’s window display, guaranteed to make her the talk of the office party.

“Excuse me,” she called to a passing saleswoman. “Could I try on that gorgeous shimmery dress in the window? The one with the sequins?”

The saleswoman clutched her pearls, looking thoroughly scandalized. “Absolutely not, Ma’am! We have perfectly good fitting rooms for that sort of thing. This isn’t that kind of establishment!”

A dress displayed in a store | Source: Midjourney

A dress displayed in a store | Source: Midjourney

11. The Santa Hotline

Sophie was driving her mom crazy with constant battles with her teenage sister Madison. The latest war was over borrowed (stolen) Christmas sweaters and who ate the last gingerbread cookie.

Mom had enough. “That’s it! I’m calling Santa!”

She dialed her brother Bob, resident Santa impersonator extraordinaire. Sophie’s eyes grew huge as Mom detailed her crimes against sisterhood, including the Great Hair Dryer Incident of last Tuesday.

“Santa wants a word with you,” Mom handed over the phone, trying not to smirk as her master plan unfolded.

A smiling woman holding a phone | Source: Midjourney

A smiling woman holding a phone | Source: Midjourney

Uncle Bob dropped his voice to subterranean levels. “Sophie, Sophie, Sophie… No presents for girls who torment their sisters. I’m watching! And yes, I saw you hide that cookie under your pillow!”

Sophie nodded solemnly through the lecture, then hung up with a suspicious gleam in her eye.

“Well?” Mom asked, expecting victory. “What did Santa say?”

Sophie shrugged, skipping away. “He said Madison’s getting coal this year. Apparently, she’s the real troublemaker. Also, he said you should check your own cookie stash, Mom!”

A little girl smiling | Source: Midjourney

A little girl smiling | Source: Midjourney

And there you have it, folks! If these jokes made you laugh, share them faster than your relatives share embarrassing childhood stories at Christmas dinner! Keep spreading the holiday cheer with these 10 More Best Christmas Jokes. Ho ho ho!

Cheerful Santa Claus laughing | Source: Midjourney

Cheerful Santa Claus laughing | Source: Midjourney

You Won’t Believe What This Millionaire Did to Solve Homelessness in His Town!

Homelessness is a problem that many cities face around the world. Even though governments and organizations are trying to fix it, it’s still a big issue. One Canadian millionaire decided to make a difference in his own town with his money. Here’s his story.

In Fredericton, New Brunswick, Marcel LeBrun, a millionaire entrepreneur, took action to help homeless people in his community. Marcel, who made a lot of money from his successful social media monitoring company, decided to invest $4 million of his own money to build 99 tiny homes for those in need. He didn’t just stop at providing homes; he also created job opportunities with his unique approach. This project is called 12 Neighbours.

After selling his company and gaining a lot of wealth, Marcel wanted to use his money for good. Seeing the homelessness issue in Fredericton, he came up with the idea of a tiny home community to give homeless people a new start. He named his project 12 Neighbours and aimed to build a gated community with 99 homes and an enterprise center. This community offers both housing and job opportunities, giving homeless people a chance to rebuild their lives.

Homelessness is a big issue in New Brunswick, with about 1,600 people experiencing it in a single day last year. In bigger cities like San Francisco, Los Angeles, and New York in the United States, the number of homeless people is much higher. Marcel LeBrun saw a chance to make a difference and decided to help those struggling with homelessness.

Marcel’s project, 12 Neighbours, is not just about building tiny homes. He wants to create a supportive community for people. The tiny homes he’s building are more than just places to stay. They are fully-furnished with kitchens, living areas, bedrooms, and full bathrooms. They even have solar panels on the roofs. Marcel sees himself as a community builder, aiming to provide a better life for those in need.

Image Credit: CBC National | Youtube

To make his vision a reality, Marcel LeBrun set up a factory where skilled volunteers help build the tiny homes. Using modern techniques, the factory can produce one tiny home every four business days. Once a home is built, it is carefully placed on concrete blocks to form the foundation of the community.

Marcel believes that owning a home is important because it gives people a sense of responsibility and stability. By allowing people who have experienced homelessness to own their own homes, the 12 Neighbours project aims to empower them and create a supportive community.

Image Credit: CBC National | Youtube

Besides providing homes, Marcel LeBrun’s project also focuses on creating job opportunities for the residents. The 12 Neighbours community includes an enterprise center with a coffee bar and a silk printing business, both run by the residents. This helps generate income and encourages residents to interact with the wider community.

Like any big project, 12 Neighbours has faced criticism. Some people think it’s better to reintegrate homeless individuals directly into society rather than keeping them together in one place. However, Marcel understands these concerns and has taken steps to ensure the community is safe and supportive.

Marcel explained, “Building a few homes is just as complicated as building many, and we wanted to make a real impact on homelessness in Fredericton. If we want to make a meaningful difference, we need to build houses. If I take someone who’s been living outside and put them in a luxury apartment, they might not succeed because it’s not their community or environment.”

Image Credit: CBC National | Youtube

Marcel LeBrun knows how important safety is, so he has included top security features in the 12 Neighbours community. There are gated entrances and advanced surveillance systems to ensure residents feel safe and protected.

LeBrun mentioned that some residents face challenges when they first move in. He explained, “When someone moves into a house, they might have others trying to take advantage of them. They need to learn what it means to manage their own space and decide who they let in and out.”

One of the main goals of 12 Neighbours is to build a strong sense of community both inside and outside its gates. LeBrun wants to create a place where residents and the people of Fredericton can come together. The community has a coffee bar and a personalized printing business to encourage interaction and understanding.

LeBrun told CBC, “I see myself as a community builder. We’re not just building a small community; we’re helping to make our city better.”

Marcel LeBrun’s project to build 99 tiny homes in Fredericton, New Brunswick, is a great example of using personal success to help others. Through 12 Neighbours, he has not only provided homes for those in need but also created job opportunities and a supportive community. His efforts have given hope to many and inspired others to make a difference.

Related Posts

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*