My adopted children got a letter from their birth mother the day before my 86th birthday. Instead of celebrating with me, they decided to meet her. What they learned was shocking and changed everything.
“Mom, I know you and Dad gave us so much love, but I can’t lie. I’m curious about this woman,” my daughter Emily said over the phone. I thought she was calling to confirm plans for my birthday, but she had something serious to tell me. I didn’t realize how much I wasn’t ready for it.
Many years ago, my husband Kevin and I wanted children, but after trying for so long, nothing happened. It broke my heart, especially since I felt like I wasn’t enough. Kevin also had fertility issues, but I couldn’t stop worrying about it.
When we were almost 40, we applied to adopt, and a pregnant teenager chose us. We were so happy! We were open to letting her stay involved, but she preferred a closed adoption. We respected her wishes.
Soon after, we discovered she was having twins—a boy and a girl! Without hesitation, we adopted them both, named them Emily and Ethan, and gave them all the love we could.
We were in our 40s, financially secure, and ran a business that gave us plenty of time to spend with our kids. It was challenging at times, but we wouldn’t change anything.
Kevin and I adored watching our babies sleep, and Kevin would often say, “This was the best decision we ever made.” I would smile back, my heart full of love.
Emily grew up loving sports, especially basketball, and earned a scholarship to UCLA. Ethan, on the other hand, was brilliant, excelling in school and math. He got into Stanford, and although it was hard to see him go, we were so proud.
Life went on, and they got married and had children of their own. But when Kevin passed away when we were 80, I was devastated. Luckily, Emily and her husband Richard, and Ethan and his wife Susan, supported me through it all.
One day, Emily told me, “Mom, we’ll always be here for you. I want my kids to have a happy grandma who bakes cookies!” That made me smile through my grief.
But then Emily’s phone call changed everything.
“But honey, it’s my birthday tomorrow,” I said, surprised that Emily and Ethan weren’t coming. My health hadn’t been great, and I was hoping to see my family. Emily’s silence told me something was wrong.
“Mom, we got a letter from a woman claiming to be our birth mother,” Emily revealed. She wanted to meet us tomorrow. I was shocked.
The adoption had been closed, so this was completely unexpected. Emily sounded upset, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of me or the situation.
“I didn’t think it mattered,” I tried to explain, my voice trembling. “I can tell you everything now. But why on my birthday?”
“Mom, she doesn’t live in Pasadena anymore, and Ethan and I are mad you didn’t tell us. We need time to think.”
My heart sank. “Please come over tonight, and we can talk it out.” But Emily needed time. She promised to call later, but her voice was choked with emotion. I could hear her crying.
The next day was my birthday, but I didn’t hear from my kids. It was heartbreaking. Friends and cousins sent birthday greetings, but nothing from Emily or Ethan.
I wondered if they had already met their birth mother. I felt abandoned and unsure if they were angry with me.
Just as I was about to go to bed, the doorbell rang.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” my family shouted. Emily and Ethan stood at the door with a cake. I couldn’t believe it. They had come after all!
We hugged, and tears filled my eyes. I was so relieved and happy. We celebrated together, and the kids brought food, gifts, and joy to my home. But Emily pulled me aside to talk privately.
“Mom, you don’t have to apologize for anything,” she told me. Ethan agreed, explaining that they felt conflicted and needed time to process everything. I was grateful for their words, but I had to ask about their birth mother.
Emily sighed and told me, “It didn’t go well. We don’t trust her.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“She talked about herself for hours,” Emily explained. “She didn’t seem interested in getting to know us, just her accomplishments.”
Ethan added, “And then she told us she’s sick, and it seemed like she just wanted something from us.”
They didn’t feel like she had been looking for them for years as she claimed. It was all about what she needed from them.
“I don’t think I want to talk to her again,” Ethan said.
Emily, however, was conflicted. But then she looked at me and said, “You’re my mom. You’ve always been my only mom.”
Tears filled my eyes again, and we hugged. Even Ethan, who was usually so serious, was emotional.
“A mother is the one who raises you, not the one who gives birth to you,” Ethan added.
At that moment, I knew that everything would be alright. Their love for me was strong, and I was still their mom.
You said:
continue ending long
ChatGPT said:
ChatGPT
Emily’s words warmed my heart like nothing else could. “You’re my mom. You’ve always been my only mom.” For a moment, time stood still, and all the confusion and fear I had been carrying dissolved into the embrace of my children. I held them close, their warmth reminding me of all the years we had shared, all the laughter, all the tears. Nothing could erase that.
As we stood there, huddled together, I realized that this was the moment I had feared for so long. When they were children, I had often wondered whether there would come a day when they’d want to seek out their birth mother, and how that would affect our relationship. But here we were, and they were still mine.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” I said softly, brushing the tears from my cheeks. “I just never wanted you to feel different or unloved. I wanted you to know that you were my children, no matter what.”
Ethan, ever the logical one, squeezed my hand. “Mom, we know that now. It was confusing at first, but the more we thought about it, the more we realized that nothing could change the bond we have with you.”
Emily nodded, wiping her eyes. “Yeah, and meeting Amanda—it put things into perspective. She may have given birth to us, but she wasn’t there for the scraped knees, the late-night talks, or the big moments in our lives. You were. You are our mother.”
I looked at both of them, their grown faces reflecting the same expressions I had seen since they were children—so much love, even when they were upset or unsure. They were the best parts of me and Kevin, the family we had built together.
“You know,” I began, trying to gather my thoughts. “There was a time when I worried about what would happen if you ever found out. I wondered if it would change how you saw me. But now I see that it didn’t matter. You’ve always been mine, and I’ve always been yours.”
Emily wrapped her arms around me again. “It didn’t change anything. If anything, it just made us appreciate you more. You didn’t have to take us in, but you did, and you gave us the best life. That means more than anything.”
“I’m just sorry you had to go through all this on your birthday,” Ethan added, looking apologetic. “We didn’t mean to hurt you, Mom. We just needed to figure things out.”
I smiled softly, shaking my head. “You did what you needed to do. I understand. And honestly, the fact that you’re here now—well, it’s the best birthday gift I could’ve ever asked for.”
We stood there for a few more moments, just holding on to each other, before Emily spoke again. “There’s something else,” she said, her voice tentative.
I looked at her, unsure of what else could come after everything that had happened. “What is it, honey?”
“We talked about it, Ethan and I, and… we don’t think we’re going to have any more contact with Amanda,” she admitted. “After everything she said, we realized that her motives weren’t pure. She didn’t reach out because she wanted to be part of our lives. She just wanted something from us.”
Ethan nodded in agreement. “It felt more like a transaction to her. She barely asked about us, Mom. It was all about her. We left that meeting feeling used, not reunited.”
My heart ached for them. I had worried that meeting Amanda would cause them pain, and it had. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” I said, pulling them close again. “You deserved better.”
“We have better,” Emily replied, her voice filled with conviction. “We have you.”
I smiled, but there was still something bothering me. “I don’t want to tell you what to do, but… if you ever want to know more about your birth mother, or if you change your mind and want to explore that relationship, I won’t hold it against you. You deserve to know your full story, whatever that means.”
Emily and Ethan exchanged a glance before Ethan spoke up. “We’ve talked about that too, and maybe someday we’ll want to know more. But right now, we’re happy with the life we’ve built—with you. We’re not ready to bring Amanda into our lives, especially after everything that happened.”
Emily added, “We realized something important after meeting her: family isn’t just about blood. It’s about love and the time you spend together. And you gave us everything we needed. You are our family.”
I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer. Hearing them say those words—words I had hoped for but never expected to hear—was the greatest gift I could have received. They didn’t need to choose between me and Amanda. In their hearts, I had always been their mother, and nothing could change that.
“Thank you,” I whispered, my voice shaky with emotion. “Thank you for coming back to me.”
“We never left, Mom,” Ethan said, smiling gently. “We were just a little lost for a minute.”
As the night wore on, we joined the rest of the family. The grandkids were laughing and playing, the house was filled with warmth and love, and for the first time in days, I felt truly at peace. We ate, we laughed, and I opened the thoughtful gifts they had brought. But the real gift was their presence, their love, and the reassurance that we were still the close-knit family we had always been.
At one point, Emily caught my eye from across the room and smiled. “Happy birthday, Mom,” she mouthed, and I smiled back, my heart swelling with gratitude.
As I sat in my living room that night, surrounded by my family, I realized that no matter what happened in the future, this moment was everything. My children knew who their real mother was, and I knew that I had done my best by them. There were no more secrets, no more worries about what could be. Just the knowledge that love—real, unconditional love—was what held us all together.
And as I blew out my birthday candles, I made a wish. Not for anything new or different, but for more moments like this. Moments filled with love, laughter, and the joy of being together. Because in the end, that’s all that truly mattered.
What Men’s Beauty Standards Look Like in Different Countries
The mainstream definition of what an ideal man should look like varies from country to country. Just like women, a lot of men try to follow common beauty trends in order to be seen as more attractive. The cultural difference in what exactly people consider objectively beautiful might come as a surprise.
Bright Side did a fun bit of research about what people consider to be the ideal male beauty standard in many countries around the world. Looking at the most beloved male celebs will tell you about what is considered attractive.
1. United States and Canada
According to People’s magazine, the most attractive men in the US for the past 3 years are Paul Rudd (Ant-Man), Michael B. Jordan (Black Panther), and singer John Legend.
The usual definition of beauty, when it comes to men in the United States and Canada, is having a muscular physique, ruggedness, and golden skin. However, in the past couple of years, especially among the younger generation, an androgynous look has become more desirable.
2. India
According to the poll, the most attractive men in India are actors Shah Rukh Khan (Don 2), Aamir Khan (Like Stars on Earth), and Hrithik Roshan (Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara). Even though Shah Rukh Khan took first place, he actually opened up, saying that he has been called “ugly and unconventional” in the past.
The main beauty standard in India is having a lighter skin tone, which gets promoted a lot on TV. Other than that, Indian standards are pretty close to American: tall, muscular man, who have clear skin and a full head of hair.
3. United Kingdom
According to a 2021 poll, the most attractive man in the UK is Tom Hardy (Inception), and 2022 research suggests that Richard Madden (Game of Thrones) has a huge shot of winning that title.
The research data says that the ideal type of man for British people has an athletic build, brown eyes, short dark-brown hair, and some facial hair. In fact, men with beards are found to be over 60% more attractive than men without them.
4. Philippines
The most attractive men in the Philippines have been noted as Josh Cullen Santos from the boy group SB19 and the actor Alden Richards (Imagine You & Me).
The beauty standard in the Philippines has shifted and instead of looking macho, the men care about their appearance a lot and go for a more beautiful look, so they go to salons to get facials. Other standards include having dark hair, being at least 5’9“, and having a more “mestizo” look, which means being mixed with white.
5. South Korea
While western countries prefer men who are athletically built, South Korea likes more of a skinny, androgynous-looking body (not too skinny, fat, or muscular) for men. Men need to be a little bit soft, with slim facial features, double eyelids, and lighter skin.
Male celebrities in South Korea also do not shy away from using makeup or dyeing their hair, actors dye it black to look more youthful while idols dye it “fun” colors, and it is not considered to be revolutionary like it would be in the US.
6. Mexico
Mexicans go for a more “macho” look, which means being extremely masculine, as opposed to South Korea which prefers a more androgynous look. The list of the most attractive men includes actors Diego Boneta (Luis Miguel) and Ryan Guzman (9-1-1) in the first 2 spots.
7. Germany
According to research, German women prefer their men to be taller, with either black or brown short hair. The largest percent of the respondents said that they would like their man to be muscular, but skinny men took a close second place.
Football player Marco Reus and the actor Thore Schölermann have been named the most attractive men.
8. Italy
In Italy, men being overly masculine does not have much importance in terms of their attractiveness. In fact, a lot of men are into grooming and styling their body hair, and Italian men do not shy away from wearing “girlish” colors, like pink or purple.
The most attractive male celebrities are considered to be Raoul Bova and Giulio Berruti.
9. Australia
Australian male beauty standards are focused on physical size and being muscular. While women perceive their bodies as heavier than ideal, men who follow beauty standards, on the contrary, think they are too skinny. The Hemsworth brothers are considered one of the ideals of Australian beauty.
10. The Netherlands
The Netherlands is considered to be a country that has the tallest people in the world, with the average height of a woman being 5’7″ (around 170 cm), and 6’0″ (around 183 cm) for men. Dutch women seek a male partner that is taller than them.
TV presenter Arie Boomsma and actor Michiel Huisman have been named 2 of the most attractive Dutch men, and their heights match up the beauty standard: Boomsma is 6’5 (around 198 cm), while Peelen is 6’1 (around 185 cm). Notably, both men are also muscular and have facial hair.
Which country’s standards align with your own? Do you think standards are hurtful for people’s self-esteem?
Leave a Reply