For weeks, my neighbor’s underpants stole the spotlight outside my 8-year-old son’s window. When he naively questioned if her thongs were slingshots, I decided it was time to put an end to this panty parade and teach her a valuable lesson in laundry etiquette.
Ah, suburbia! The grass is usually greener on the other side, mostly because your neighbor’s sprinkler system is superior to yours. That’s where I, Thompson’s wife Kristie, opted to establish roots with my 8-year-old son Jake. Life was as smooth as a freshly botoxed forehead until Lisa, our new neighbor, came in next door.
It began on Tuesday. I remember because it was wash day, and I was folding a mountain of tiny superhero underwear, courtesy of Jake’s recent obsession.
Looking out his bedroom window, I almost choked on my coffee. A pair of hot pink, lace underwear flew in the breeze like the world’s most indecent flag.
And they were not alone. Oh no, they were not alone — a full rainbow of underpants was dancing in the breeze in front of my son’s window.
“Holy guacamole,” I muttered, dropping a pair of Batman briefs. “Is this a laundry line or Victoria’s Secret runway?”
Jake’s voice piped up behind me, “Mom, why does Mrs. Lisa have her underwear outside?”
My face burned hotter than my malfunctioning dryer. “Uh, sweetie. Mrs. Lisa just… really likes fresh air. Why don’t we close these curtains, huh? Give the laundry some privacy.”
“But Mom,” Jake persisted, his eyes wide with innocent curiosity, “if Mrs. Lisa’s underwear likes fresh air, shouldn’t mine go outside too? Maybe my Hulk undies could make friends with her pink ones!”
I held back a laugh that threatened to blossom into a wild sob. “Honey, your underwear is… shy. It prefers to stay inside where it’s cozy.”
As I ushered Jake out, I couldn’t resist thinking, “Welcome to the neighborhood, Kristie. Hope you brought your sense of humor and a sturdy pair of curtains.”
Days stretched into weeks, and Lisa’s laundry service became as routine as my daily coffee, and as welcoming as a cold cup of coffee with a splash of curdled milk.
Every day, a new set of panties appeared outside my son’s window, and I found myself playing the awkward game of “shield the child’s eyes.”
One afternoon, while I was cooking a snack in the kitchen, Jake burst in, his face etched with bewilderment and eagerness, making my mom-sense prickle with fear.
“Mom,” he started, in that tone that always preceded a question I wasn’t prepared for, “why does Mrs. Lisa have so many different colored underwear? And why are some of them so small? With strings? Are they for her pet hamster?”
I almost dropped the knife I was using to spread peanut butter, picturing Lisa’s response at being told her delicates were rodent-sized.
“Well, honey,” I stammered, buying time, “everyone has different preferences for their clothes. Even the ones we don’t usually see.”
Jake nodded sagely as if I’d imparted some great wisdom. “So, it’s like how I like my superhero underwear, but grown-up? Does Mrs. Lisa fight crime at night? Is that why her underwear is so small? For aerodynamics?”
I choked on air, caught between laughter and horror. “Uh, not exactly, sweetie. Mrs. Lisa isn’t a superhero. She’s just very confident.”
“Oh,” Jake replied, little disappointed. Then his face brightened up again.
“But Mom, if Mrs. Lisa can hang her underwear outside, can I hang mine too? I bet my Captain America boxers would look super cool flapping in the wind!”
“Sorry, buddy,” I said, ruffling his hair. “Your underwear is special. It needs to stay hidden to, uh, protect your secret identity.”
As Jake nodded and munched on his lunch, I looked out the window at Lisa’s colorful underwear display.
This could not continue on. It was time to talk with our exhibitionist neighbor. ?.
The following day, I marched over to Lisa’s place.
I rang the doorbell, flashing my best “concerned neighbor” smile, the same one I use to assure the HOA that “no, my garden gnomes are not offensive, they’re whimsical.”
Lisa responded, appearing as if she had just come out of a shampoo advertisement.
“Oh, hi there! Kristie, right?” she frowned.
“That’s right! Listen, Lisa, I hoped we could chat about something.”
She leaned against the doorframe, eyebrow raised. “Oh? What’s on your mind? Need to borrow a cup of sugar? Or maybe a cup of confidence?” She glanced pointedly at my mom jeans and oversized t-shirt.
I took a deep breath and reminded myself that jail orange is not my color. “It’s about your laundry. Specifically, where you hang it.”
Lisa’s flawlessly groomed brows furrowed. “My laundry? What about it? Is it too fashion-forward for the neighborhood?”
“Well, it’s just that it’s right in front of my son’s window. The, um, underwear especially. It’s a bit exposing. Jake’s starting to ask questions. Yesterday, he asked if your thongs were slingshots.”
“Oh, honey. They’re just clothes! It’s not like I’m hanging up nuclear launch codes. Although, between you and me, my leopard print bikini bottoms are pretty explosive!”
I felt my eye twitch. “I understand, but Jake is only eight. He’s curious. This morning, he asked if he could hang his Superman undies next to your, uh, ‘crime-fighting gear’.”
“Well, then, sounds like a perfect opportunity for some education. You’re welcome! I’m practically running a public service here. And why should I care about your son? It’s my yard. Toughen up!”
“Excuse me?”
Lisa waved her hand dismissively. “Listen, if you’re that bothered by a few pairs of panties, maybe you need to loosen up. It’s my yard, my rules. Deal with it. Or better yet, buy some cuter underwear. I could give you some tips if you’d like.”
And with that, she slammed the door in my face, leaving me standing there with my mouth open, likely gathering flies.
I was stunned. “Oh, it is ON,” I muttered, turning on my heel. “You want to play dirty laundry? Game on, Lisa. Game. On.” ?
That night, I sat at my sewing machine.
Yards of the most gaudy, eye-searing cloth I could locate sat before me. It was the type of cloth that could be seen from space and perhaps even attract alien life forms!
“You think your little lacy numbers are something to see, Lisa?” I muttered, feeding the fabric through the machine. “Wait till you get a load of this. E.T. will phone home about these babies.”
After hours, I finished creating the world’s largest and most irritating pair of granny panties. ?
They were large enough to serve as a parachute, loud enough to be heard from space, and just insignificant enough to prove my argument.
If Lisa’s underwear was a whisper, mine was a fabric-covered foghorn.
That afternoon, as soon as I saw Lisa’s car leave her driveway, I sprung into action.
With my improvised clothesline and gigantic flamingo underpants ready, I dashed across our lawns, ducking between plants and lawn ornaments.
With the coast clear, I hung my handiwork just in front of Lisa’s living room window. Stepping back to examine my work, I couldn’t help but smile.
The enormous flamingo undies fluttered gloriously in the afternoon air. They were so enormous that a family of four could certainly use them as a tent while camping.
“Take that, Lisa,” I whispered, scurrying back home. “Let’s see how you like a taste of your own medicine. Hope you brought your sunglasses, because it’s about to get BRIGHT in the neighborhood.”
Back at home, I took up a position beside the window. I felt like a kid waiting for Santa, but instead of gifts, I was waiting for Lisa to uncover my small surprise.
The minutes passed like hours.
Just as I was wondering if Lisa had chosen to turn her errands into a surprise holiday, I heard the familiar sound of her car approaching the driveway.
It’s show time.
Lisa stepped outside, arms full of shopping bags, and froze. Her mouth dropped so quickly, I thought it could detach. The bags slid from her fingers, scattering their contents across the driveway.
I swear I spotted a pair of polka-dot panties rolling across the yard. Lisa, you are so classy.
“WHAT THE HELL…??” she screeched, loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. “Is that a parachute? Did the circus come to town?”
I burst into laughter. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I watched Lisa dash up to the enormous undies and grab at them futilely. It was like witnessing a chihuahua attempt to take down a Great Dane.
Composing myself, I strolled outside. “Oh, hi Lisa! Doing some redecorating? I love what you’ve done with the place. Very avant-garde.”
She whirled on me, face as pink as the undies of my creation. “You! You did this! What is wrong with you? Are you trying to signal aircraft?”
I shrugged. “Just hanging out some laundry. Isn’t that what neighbors do? I thought we were starting a trend.”
“This isn’t laundry!” Lisa shrieked, gesturing wildly at the undies. “This is… this is…”
“A learning opportunity?” I suggested sweetly. “You know, for the neighborhood kids. Jake was very curious about the aerodynamics of underwear. I thought a practical demonstration might help.”
Lisa’s mouth expanded and closed, like a fish out of water. Finally, she sputtered, “Take. It. Down.”
I tapped my chin thoughtfully. “Hmm, I don’t know. I kind of like the breeze it’s getting. Really airs things out, you know? Plus, I think it’s bringing the property values up. Nothing says ‘classy neighborhood’ like giant novelty underwear.”
For a moment, I thought Lisa might spontaneously combust. Then, to my surprise, her shoulders sagged. “Fine,” she said through gritted teeth. “You win. I’ll move my laundry. Just… please, take this monstrosity down. My retinas are burning.”
I chuckled, extending my hand. “Deal. But I have to say, I think flamingos are your color.”
As we shook on it, I couldn’t help but add, “By the way, Lisa? Welcome to the neighborhood. We’re all a little crazy here. Some of us just hide it better than others.”
Lisa’s laundry has been missing from the clothesline in front of Jake’s window since that day. She never addressed it again, and I never had to cope with her “life lessons” either.
And me? Let’s just say I now have a really unusual set of curtains made of flamingo fabric. Don’t waste, don’t want, right?
Jake was slightly bummed that the “underwear slingshots” were no longer available. But I informed him that sometimes being a superhero entails keeping your undergarments a secret. What if he ever sees huge flamingo undies flying through the sky? Mom is protecting the neighborhood with outrageous pranks! ?
Mom of Quintuplets Can’t Pay For Groceries, Voice behind Says, ‘Your Bill Is Already Covered’ — Story of the Day
A poor mother of quintuplets gets a pleasant surprise when she runs out of money at the grocery store and a stranger steps in to help her.
Rachel and her husband Jack were overjoyed when they found out they were expecting quintuplets. They had been trying for a child for years, and when they were blessed with five children at once, they couldn’t control their joy.
Jack was a truck driver who made a solid living, so when the babies were born, it was easy for Rachel to quit her job to care for their children. Things went on swiftly for four years; Rachel and Jack never expected anything to go wrong. But something did, and Rachel was at a loss.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
One day, Jack left for work early in the morning and never returned. It was their wedding anniversary, and Rachel had tried to stop him since she had a nagging feeling something wasn’t quite right. But Jack had managed to talk her around. “Don’t worry, honey. I’ll be home on time. I promise.”
But Jack didn’t keep his promise. Later that evening, Rachel got a call from the cops informing her that he had passed away in a truck collision. The young widow sobbed incessantly, but nothing would change. Jack was gone, and she’d have to embrace the role of the man of the house.
Because her kids were just four years old, she couldn’t leave them alone at home. Hiring a nanny was out of the question because savings were limited, and there was no income. She couldn’t even ask her neighbors for help because they were anything but friendly.
Distraught by the situation, Rachel couldn’t even get to grieve the loss of her husband properly as she threw herself into work to support her children. She began knitting scarves and hats and selling them for a living, but problems arose when summer arrived. Her talent could no longer help her, and money was tight.
One day, she was at a grocery store buying items for her sons’ birthday, but the prices there made her brow furrow. “When did the price of cocoa powder go up? $5 for a small one?! Ughh, I haven’t bought half of the items yet, and the total is already $50! Jesus! I need to put some items back.”
She returned the cocoa powder on the shelf and got a package of generic cocoa biscuits instead as a substitute for cake flavoring. She proceeded to the next aisle just as one of her sons, Max, started insisting on buying him some candies. “Mommy! Can you please get me candies? Please?”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Unsplash
“Oh, honey!” Rachel paused. “Candies are not good for you. Doctors say that candies make your teeth bad. They’re also a little expensive, and mommy needs to bake a cake for your birthday, so she’ll have to buy the ingredients for them.”
But the four-year-old boy wouldn’t understand that. He began crying loudly, which attracted some of the shoppers’ attention. “No, mommy! I want it! I WANT CANDY!”
“Yes, mommy! We want candies too! PLEASE!!!” cried the other four boys in unison.
Rachel almost panicked in the store when everyone started staring at her, and she had to give in to her children in the end. However, when she approached the cashier to pay the bill, yet another trouble awaited her.
“How hard is it to check the prices before buying something?” the cashier, Lincy, grumbled. “You’re $10 short, so I’ll have to take some things out of here.” She picked up the chocolate cookies, candy bars, and a few other items and began preparing the bill, but Rachel stopped her.
“Oh, please don’t remove those items. Umm… let’s do one thing. I’ll remove the bread and….” Rachel began picking and choosing the items to remove.
Help can sometimes come from unexpected places.
Meanwhile, Max walked away to the aisle where milk cartons were placed, but Rachel was too busy to notice that. He was walking around when he came across an older woman. “Hi there, young man! I’m Mrs. Simpson. What’s your name? And what are you doing here alone?” she asked gently, smiling at him.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“Hello, Mrs. Simpson. I’m Max, and I’m four years old. How old are you?”
The older woman blushed. “I’m just a little older than you, Max. Let’s say 70? Where is your mother?”
“Mommy is fighting with someone. She says mommy doesn’t have enough money, and we need to leave some things here.”
“Oh, is that so?” Mrs. Simpson inquired worriedly. “Can you take me to your mommy?”
The boy nodded and dashed over to the check-out counter with Mrs. Simpson. Lincy had grown impatient with Rachel and was lashing out at her. “Look, woman! If you can’t afford stuff, don’t come here in the first place! Now move! Other customers are awaiting their turn!” She pushed Rachel’s bag at the side and motioned for the next customer to approach her. “Next!”
“No, please wait…” Rachel had just started speaking when a voice cut her off.
“There’s no need to remove those items. Your bill is already covered!” Mrs. Simpson approached Lincy and handed her her credit card. “Ring in all the items including the ones you removed. It’s on me.”
“Oh no, please,” Rachel intervened. “I’m afraid I can’t take that from you. It’s fine.”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“Don’t worry, it’s fine,” the older woman insisted, and Rachel finally gave in.
As they cleared their bills and walked out of the store, Rachel couldn’t stop thanking her. “Thank you so much for helping us. I’m sorry I can’t pay you the money right now, but please visit us sometime. Here, this is my address,” she said, handing her a note on which she scribbled her address. “I’d love to treat you to some tea and cookies. I make really good cookies.”
“Oh, that’s really sweet of you, young lady!” she replied. “I’ll see you soon, Max! Bye-bye, boys!” she added before departing.
The boys waved back at her, and Rachel was perplexed when Mrs. Simpson mentioned Max’s name in specific. “Do you know Mrs. Simpson, honey?” she asked Max gently.
“Yes, mommy! I told her you were fighting, so she helped you.”
“Oh, she’s such a sweetheart!” Rachel thought as she walked back to her car.
The next day, there was a knock on her door. “Oh, Mrs. Simpson! Please come in. You came at the right time! I just baked some cookies,” Rachel said, showing her the way inside.
As the older woman took a seat, Rachel brought her some cookies and a cup of tea. “Oh, you didn’t have to go to all that trouble,” she replied, reaching for the teacup. “Do you live alone with your children?”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“Actually, my husband died last year, so I’ve been raising my children on my own. Unfortunately, I’m not working now, so the money is tight. I had a small business selling knitted sweaters and caps, but no one buys them in the summer, and I am still looking for a job.”
“In that case, why don’t you join me at my clothing store?” the older woman proposed. “I need an assistant and would love to have you. Don’t worry; I can look after your children for you. My husband died many years ago, and we never had children. So I’m just an old lady counting down the days until God brings her home.”
“Oh my goodness, Mrs. Simpson!” Rachel cried. “How will I repay your kindness? Thank you! Thank you very much!”
“You can return my favor, darling,” Mrs. Simpson smiled. “All you have to do is make me a nice cup of tea every evening. Deal?”
“Of course, Mrs. Simpson!” Rachel said as she wiped away her tears. She started working at Mrs. Simpson’s store the next day, worked hard for months in a row, and got promoted to the role of supervisor.
When she showed Mrs. Simpson her design samples one day, the older woman recommended she start a side business and encouraged her to share some of her works on social media.
You won’t believe it, but Rachel’s designs went viral all over social media, and a famous designer soon offered her a job. But Rachel turned down the offer because she didn’t want to leave her job at Mrs. Simpson’s store. She now lives with Mrs. Simpson, and her children call the older woman Grandma Simpson out of affection.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
What can we learn from this story?
- Help can sometimes come from unexpected places. When Rachel ran out of money, Mrs. Simpson stepped in to help her.
- Goodness is like a boomerang; it always comes back to you in some form. Mrs. Simpson was all alone after her husband’s death, but after helping Rachel, she gained a loving family and five adorable grandsons.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about an older woman who can’t recognize her children but ends up recognizing the sweetheart she lost 56 years ago on Valentine’s Day.
This account is inspired by our reader’s story and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
Leave a Reply