My mother did everything in her power to prevent me from seeing my father after they divorced. But once my dad tricked me on the phone, and everything changed.
“I don’t want to see you ever again!” my mom yelled as my father got into the car and left our home forever. That was my earliest memory. Dad left when I was two years old after a huge fight with my mother.
They got divorced, and I didn’t see him for many years. As I got older, I realized that my mother was preventing me from seeing my father. “I want to visit Dad. Please!” I begged when I was ten years old.
“No! You can’t go see him. He’s busy with his new family and doesn’t want to see you,” she replied.
“I know that’s not true! You’re lying to me! I talk to him on the phone, and he wants to see me!” I cried, pleading with her to see my father.
“Don’t talk back to me, Alexandra! Your father left us and doesn’t deserve to have a relationship with you now,” Mom said. I thought that was unfair, but I was still just a child.
My dad and I kept in constant contact over the phone, but I really wanted to spend time with him, and I knew he wanted the same. However, Mom was an expert at getting her way.
As a teenager, I decided to go on my own to see him, and she called the cops on me. They picked me up before I could reach his house and drove me back home.
“The next time you try to disobey me, I will say that your father kidnapped you, and he will go to jail where he belongs!” she screamed at me when the cops left.
Back then, I thought she was doing the right thing for me, but as I grew up, I realized that it was pure selfishness on her part. I didn’t want to hang out with her or do anything. I also started rebelling at school. She drove a huge wedge between us, and I didn’t care anymore.
“Alexandra, do you want to go shopping with me?” she asked me one day. I was 17 years old and had grown to almost hate her.
“Nope,” I answered.
“How about the movies?”
“Nope.”
“Why don’t you want to do anything with me?” she whined.
“Really? You’re asking me that question? You know exactly why I treat you this way,” I said in a bored tone.
“I have done nothing to you! All the sacrifices I have made for you, and you’re so ungrateful!” Mom yelled once more.
“Yeah, ok. Close the door, please,” I added.
By then, I was immune to her tantrums and how she victimized herself to get away with things. I moved out as soon as I turned 18 and never looked back.
But seeing my dad wasn’t any easier. I had to work two jobs and go to school. He was also busy with work, and his second wife had just delivered twins by then. Neither of us had time, so we put it off.
I met with him on a Saturday afternoon at his house and met his wife. They showed me the twins, and we talked for a while. But it felt so awkward that I didn’t want to do it again. Maybe my mother had ruined any chance I had at a relationship with him.
We talked on the phone for a long time once a week. I asked about the twins and told him about my life. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked for us. Years went by this way. I didn’t hear of my mother until I was 29 years old.
“Hey, Alexandra,” she spoke on the phone tentatively.
“Oh, hey, Mom,” I answered, confused with her call.
“We haven’t talked in a long time. How are you?” she asked.
“I’m fine. How about you?” I replied. We chitchatted awkwardly for a few minutes, and then she got to the point.
“Listen, honey. I was hoping that we could work on mending our relationship. How does that sound?” Mom wondered.
“I don’t know. Are you going to apologize for everything?” I retorted.
“I…I still don’t think I did anything wrong. I was trying to protect you from being hurt like I was when you were little. But I understand that you felt differently,” she explained.
“So, you’re not apologizing?” I continued, tired of this conversation. She was never going to acknowledge her wrongs, and I had no time for that.
“Alexandra! I’m your mother. You haven’t talked to me in years! You’re so selfish!” she wailed, raising her voice.
“Ok, goodbye,” I said and hung up the phone. She tried calling me back, but I ignored her. I would not let her back into my life until she apologized.
Another year went by, and I received a strange call from my dad. He never called during working hours. “Alexandra! This is an emergency! Can you come to see me?” Dad said urgently through the phone.
“What? Dad? What’s going on?” I asked, worried.
“I sent you an address. Come quickly! This is a matter of life or death!” he told me and hung up.
I went to my boss, took a day off work, and ran to my car. But the address Dad gave me took me right to an amusement park close to his house.
“Hey, honey!” he smiled when I met him at the front gate.
“Dad! Why are we here? What’s the emergency?” I asked, confused.
“The emergency is that you and I never got to do all the fun things father and daughters do over the years. We have put off building a real relationship, and I don’t want to waste any more time. Let’s go have fun!” Dad explained.
“Can you go on the rides? I know you have had some health problems lately,” I said hesitantly.
“I’m fit as a fiddle. Come on!” he urged.
We spent the entire day at the park and talked about everything. I felt like a child for the first time in my life, and it was wonderful.
I also told him about my problems with Mom and how hard it was when she didn’t let me see him. “Your mother is complicated and full of pride. But she’s not evil. We didn’t work out, and she couldn’t take it,” he started.
“Yeah, I wished I could’ve lived with you,” I told him.
“Well, I was pretty lost for many years trying to figure things out. We might have hated each other. But here we are, and I think you should patch things up with her. Life is too short to hold grudges,” he said.
After that marvelous day at the park, we went to dinner. When I got home, I called Mom and told her everything I felt regarding my dad. How she hurt me back then by not letting me spend time with him and how fun our day had been. She cried and apologized to me for the first time. I felt like she understood, and we started talking more often.
Meanwhile, I grew closer to my dad and loved babysitting my twin half-siblings. We even took them to the amusement park for a fun day too.
I finally had the childhood I always wanted.
What can we learn from this story?
Divorce happens between couples, not with children. Alexandra’s mother didn’t understand that her father divorced her but wanted a relationship with their daughter.
Life is too short for grudges. Alexandra’s father is right. Sometimes, it’s better to forgive for your own sake. Let go of things that make you angry, and your mental health will improve.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
Shannen Doherty, ‘Beverly Hills 90210’ and ‘Charmed’ Star, Dies at 53
After being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015, Shannen Doherty, who was well-known for her performances on the immensely successful programs “Beverly Hills, 90210” and the witchcraft fantasy “Charmed,” passed away. 53 was her age.
Publicist Leslie Sloane issued a statement on behalf of actress Shannen Doherty, saying, “It is with a heavy heart that I confirm the passing of actress, Shannen Doherty.” After battling illness for many years, she lost her struggle on Saturday, July 13. With her dog, Bowie, at her side, the loving daughter, sister, aunt, and friend was surrounded by those she loved. In order for the family to grieve in peace, they kindly request privacy at this time.
In 1990, Doherty became well-known as the youthful brunette Brenda Walsh on the Fox sitcom “Beverly Hills, 90210.” The Walshes, who had recently moved from Minnesota to Beverly Hills with her twin brother Brandon (Jason Priestly), were the quintessential out-of-place family, always in awe of the antics of the L.A. rich kids.
The storyline in the first season where Brenda contemplates losing her virginity caused controversy because of the romance between Brenda and Dylan, played by Luke Perry. It was also widely reported when Dylan and Jennie Garth’s character Kelly broke up, and the show was hailed for being the first to tackle sensitive subjects like racism and drug misuse.
The program was a huge smash, and along with its popularity, the cast—including the teenage Doherty—came under intense scrutiny and rumors. Even though Kelly, played by Garth, was first seen as the less likeable character on the program, Brenda quickly gained popularity and became the cast member that everyone loved to despise. The media referred to her as a diva, and there was even a newsletter published before the internet called “I Hate Brenda.” Before departing the show at the conclusion of season four, Doherty made 111 appearances. There were rumors that she had issues with other cast members, especially Garth.
Everyone had matured by the time the program was revived twice more, and Doherty reappeared as Brenda in the 2008 revival of “90210” and the 2019 reincarnation of “BH90210.”
Following her turbulent exit from “Beverly Hills, 90210,” Doherty established herself in the supernatural thriller “Charmed,” which centers on three sisters who come to terms with their supernatural identity and realize they must band together to battle evil.She costarred with Alyssa Milano and Holly Marie Combs as Prue Halliwell, the eldest of the three sisters. She helmed three episodes of the show in 2000 and 2001: “Be Careful What You Witch For,” “The Good, The Bad, and The Cursed,” and “All Hell Breaks Loose,” which was her final appearance. When she departed the show at the conclusion of the third season, her role was eliminated.
Doherty was born in Memphis, Tennessee, but she and her family relocated to Los Angeles when she was young. At the age of ten, she landed a role on the television show “Father Murphy.” At the age of eleven, Michael Landon cast her as Jenny Wilder in “Little House on the Prairie” after noticing her in the series.
After that, Doherty costarred with Wilfred Brimley in a recurrent role on the family series “Our House.”
She starred in several feature films, including the teen classic “Heathers,” “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” “Mallrats” directed by Kevin Smith, and “Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back.”
She made appearances in a number of TV movies in addition to “North Shore” and “Riverdale,” among other shows.
She produced the reality show “Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty” in 2006, in which she assisted individuals in dangerous relationships who wished to end their relationship but were unable to do so on their own. She then made an appearance in “Off the Map With Shannen and Holly,” another reality show.
Doherty was given a breast cancer diagnosis in February 2015, and she declared herself to be in remission in 2017. However, the cancer has spread and come back by 2019. She kept on working, landing parts in TV films such as “List of a Lifetime” and “Dying to Belong.” In addition, Doherty was the host of the well-liked podcast “Let’s Be Clear With Shannen Doherty,” where she openly talked about her experiences with breast cancer and her career.
She claimed to have been having radiation treatment in June 2023 for cancer that had progressed to her brain.
She temporarily wed poker player Rick Salomon and Ashley Hamilton, the son of George Hamilton. In 2011, she wed photographer Kurt Iswarienko. In 2023, they filed for divorce.
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