My mother did everything in her power to prevent me from seeing my father after they divorced. But once my dad tricked me on the phone, and everything changed.
“I don’t want to see you ever again!” my mom yelled as my father got into the car and left our home forever. That was my earliest memory. Dad left when I was two years old after a huge fight with my mother.
They got divorced, and I didn’t see him for many years. As I got older, I realized that my mother was preventing me from seeing my father. “I want to visit Dad. Please!” I begged when I was ten years old.
“No! You can’t go see him. He’s busy with his new family and doesn’t want to see you,” she replied.
“I know that’s not true! You’re lying to me! I talk to him on the phone, and he wants to see me!” I cried, pleading with her to see my father.
“Don’t talk back to me, Alexandra! Your father left us and doesn’t deserve to have a relationship with you now,” Mom said. I thought that was unfair, but I was still just a child.
My dad and I kept in constant contact over the phone, but I really wanted to spend time with him, and I knew he wanted the same. However, Mom was an expert at getting her way.
As a teenager, I decided to go on my own to see him, and she called the cops on me. They picked me up before I could reach his house and drove me back home.
“The next time you try to disobey me, I will say that your father kidnapped you, and he will go to jail where he belongs!” she screamed at me when the cops left.
Back then, I thought she was doing the right thing for me, but as I grew up, I realized that it was pure selfishness on her part. I didn’t want to hang out with her or do anything. I also started rebelling at school. She drove a huge wedge between us, and I didn’t care anymore.
“Alexandra, do you want to go shopping with me?” she asked me one day. I was 17 years old and had grown to almost hate her.
“Nope,” I answered.
“How about the movies?”
“Nope.”
“Why don’t you want to do anything with me?” she whined.
“Really? You’re asking me that question? You know exactly why I treat you this way,” I said in a bored tone.
“I have done nothing to you! All the sacrifices I have made for you, and you’re so ungrateful!” Mom yelled once more.
“Yeah, ok. Close the door, please,” I added.
By then, I was immune to her tantrums and how she victimized herself to get away with things. I moved out as soon as I turned 18 and never looked back.
But seeing my dad wasn’t any easier. I had to work two jobs and go to school. He was also busy with work, and his second wife had just delivered twins by then. Neither of us had time, so we put it off.
I met with him on a Saturday afternoon at his house and met his wife. They showed me the twins, and we talked for a while. But it felt so awkward that I didn’t want to do it again. Maybe my mother had ruined any chance I had at a relationship with him.
We talked on the phone for a long time once a week. I asked about the twins and told him about my life. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked for us. Years went by this way. I didn’t hear of my mother until I was 29 years old.
“Hey, Alexandra,” she spoke on the phone tentatively.
“Oh, hey, Mom,” I answered, confused with her call.
“We haven’t talked in a long time. How are you?” she asked.
“I’m fine. How about you?” I replied. We chitchatted awkwardly for a few minutes, and then she got to the point.
“Listen, honey. I was hoping that we could work on mending our relationship. How does that sound?” Mom wondered.
“I don’t know. Are you going to apologize for everything?” I retorted.
“I…I still don’t think I did anything wrong. I was trying to protect you from being hurt like I was when you were little. But I understand that you felt differently,” she explained.
“So, you’re not apologizing?” I continued, tired of this conversation. She was never going to acknowledge her wrongs, and I had no time for that.
“Alexandra! I’m your mother. You haven’t talked to me in years! You’re so selfish!” she wailed, raising her voice.
“Ok, goodbye,” I said and hung up the phone. She tried calling me back, but I ignored her. I would not let her back into my life until she apologized.
Another year went by, and I received a strange call from my dad. He never called during working hours. “Alexandra! This is an emergency! Can you come to see me?” Dad said urgently through the phone.
“What? Dad? What’s going on?” I asked, worried.
“I sent you an address. Come quickly! This is a matter of life or death!” he told me and hung up.
I went to my boss, took a day off work, and ran to my car. But the address Dad gave me took me right to an amusement park close to his house.
“Hey, honey!” he smiled when I met him at the front gate.
“Dad! Why are we here? What’s the emergency?” I asked, confused.
“The emergency is that you and I never got to do all the fun things father and daughters do over the years. We have put off building a real relationship, and I don’t want to waste any more time. Let’s go have fun!” Dad explained.
“Can you go on the rides? I know you have had some health problems lately,” I said hesitantly.
“I’m fit as a fiddle. Come on!” he urged.
We spent the entire day at the park and talked about everything. I felt like a child for the first time in my life, and it was wonderful.
I also told him about my problems with Mom and how hard it was when she didn’t let me see him. “Your mother is complicated and full of pride. But she’s not evil. We didn’t work out, and she couldn’t take it,” he started.
“Yeah, I wished I could’ve lived with you,” I told him.
“Well, I was pretty lost for many years trying to figure things out. We might have hated each other. But here we are, and I think you should patch things up with her. Life is too short to hold grudges,” he said.
After that marvelous day at the park, we went to dinner. When I got home, I called Mom and told her everything I felt regarding my dad. How she hurt me back then by not letting me spend time with him and how fun our day had been. She cried and apologized to me for the first time. I felt like she understood, and we started talking more often.
Meanwhile, I grew closer to my dad and loved babysitting my twin half-siblings. We even took them to the amusement park for a fun day too.
I finally had the childhood I always wanted.
What can we learn from this story?
Divorce happens between couples, not with children. Alexandra’s mother didn’t understand that her father divorced her but wanted a relationship with their daughter.
Life is too short for grudges. Alexandra’s father is right. Sometimes, it’s better to forgive for your own sake. Let go of things that make you angry, and your mental health will improve.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
She made waves in Hollywood with her blond hair & blue eyes, but look at her now
Kathleen Turner rose to fame in the 1980s as a result of her strength and beauty; many consider her to be one of Hollywood’s most beautiful actors.
Over the years, the actress has faced numerous challenging and favorable situations, and her perseverance has carried her through them both.Kathleen Turner was raised in a home with four other children, despite her difficult past.
She and her siblings were raised in both Venezuela and London. When she was a little girl, she tragically witnessed her father’s sudden death when he was mowing the lawn of their Hampstead house.
A month following his passing, the foreign service ejected Kathleen and her family from the United Kingdom. In Springfield, Missouri, where everyone was still grieving for their father and their previous home, Turner relocated her family.
Finally, Tuner felt at peace after moving to New York to pursue an adult acting career. Her major break came when she was hired as the femme fatale in the 1981 film “Body Heat,” despite her success on stage.
Turner was offered the opportunity to co-star with Michael Douglas in the well-known “Romancing the Stone” three years after sharing the screen with William Hurt. During filming, Douglas was going through a difficult divorce from his wife Diandra, and he started to feel a connection with Turner.
We were intensely flirting and exchanging intense, yearning glances as we were falling in love. Kathleen remarked, “Then Diandra came down and reminded me he was still married.”
In the end, she wed Jay Weiss, the movie’s real estate developer, in 1984. Soon after, the couple welcomed their only daughter together. October 14, 1987, was Rachel Ann Weiss’s birthday.
Regretfully, when the couple started parenting their daughter, their relationship started to fall apart.
“I would demand extended weekends or additional passes from the film studios so that my spouse and daughter could visit me. However, I felt bad since there was a feeling in the marriage that all the work was on his end. It terminated for a few reasons, including that. I began to experience extreme oppression. Kathleen said, “I thought, ‘Hang on a minute, you’ve done very well out of being married to me also.’”
When Turner played Martha in the 2005 Broadway production of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” their marital problems came to a head. Turner became incredibly busy performing in eight shows a week, and it seemed Weiss didn’t want to spend any time with her at home.
During that time, Turner was nominated for a Tony Award for her portrayal of Martha, and the two got along well.
The actress was nominated for an Oscar in 1987 for her role in “Peggy Sue Got Married.” She went on to produce several films in the 1980s, including three blockbusters starring Michael Douglas.
But in the 1990s, Kathleen experienced a medical setback when her neck locked, making it impossible for her to turn her head. Additionally, the swelling in her hands prevented her from using them.
Kathleen stated, “It was crippling.” When something is gone, even for a little while, you stop taking it for granted. What I took for granted was my athleticism, my capacity for forceful movement, and my freedom to move however I pleased. I had a genuine identity crisis when I lost that: “Who am I if I can’t do this?”
She was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, which is characterized by swelling of the lining of our joints, and this was the tragic reason for her circumstances. Managing chronic pain caused by this illness can be difficult.
Kathleen remarked, “When it was first diagnosed, I was terrified because they said I’d be in a wheelchair.” “I reasoned that I couldn’t act if I couldn’t move. Not everything I want to do is act. I was destined for this. It’s present throughout my entire life. The most terrifying aspect was the thought of not being able to accomplish it, together with the ongoing discomfort.
Kathleen took drugs and alcohol to ease her pain. Her habit of drinking vodka led her to faint during dress rehearsals for plays such as the 2002 stage version of “The Graduate,” even if they made her job simpler.
The actress really checked herself into rehab after the show concluded, and it was found that she was not an alcoholic. Instead, she was told to just remember to take more notes on when she took her medications and any unfavorable side effects.
The actress now does pilates and yoga to help her stay flexible and manage her discomfort.
The famous person began to focus more intently on her career in theater while also improving her pain management. As she grew older, she largely returned to her roots, even taking the lead in a stage production of “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” in her forties, even though she still worked sometimes in film and television.
“It was a little foresight on my part of which I am justly proud, because I knew that the better roles as I got older would be in theatre, which is absolutely true,” Kathleen remarked.
By focusing on the theater, the actress has had more time to pursue her passions, which include working for Planned Parenthood of America and volunteering for Amnesty International.
For most of her life, Turner has been an ardent feminist who has devoted her life to helping other women. Gloria Feldt’s 2008 biography of the actress, Send Yourself Roses, captures her thoughts perfectly.
As women, we are the first generation to achieve financial independence. Women are returning to the workforce, stated Kathleen. They’re redefining who they are. I believed I could contribute to that, even more. It therefore contains a great deal of philosophy as well as my personal beliefs.
What are your thoughts on Kathleen Turner’s difficult yet fruitful journey? Tell us in the comments below!
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