While celebrating a new life and transitioning into a new role, a mother found herself struggling to get a moment alone after she welcomed her daughter. A time that was meant to be exciting for her and her husband led to them having a big fight over their parenting roles.
In the whirlwind of joy and exhaustion in the early days of parenthood, a mother found herself longing for a mere moment of quietness and alone time. She took to Reddit to share her frustrations. She started off by explaining that she had only had her child for two weeks. Her daughter was strictly breastfeeding, but in addition to cluster feeding, she realized her daughter found comfort in being close to her.
A mother holding her new born | Source: Shutterstock
This meant that her new role allowed her little to no time alone. “I’ve showered once by myself since having her, and it only lasted long enough for me to soap up before she was crying and my husband was bringing her into the bathroom with me. I think I literally had all of 2-3 minutes,” she wrote.
On the contrary, she noticed her husband’s life had not changed. He still got to have long and uninterrupted showers every day but never understood why his showers frustrated his wife.
Each time she was in the shower, and the baby would cry, her husband would bring their newborn to her to calm her down. It made her angry that he did not even try to calm the baby down on his own, but his excuse was that the child loved showers, and seeing her cry hurt him deeply.
A mother with her baby | Source: Shutterstock
As sweet as his fears sounded, the Redditor still needed to find a way to get a full self-care routine without a baby being handed over to her. So, she decided to call in help. She asked her mother to watch her daughter as she showered. Her husband was not there when she reached out to her child’s grandmother, but when he arrived, he asked what his mother-in-law was doing at their house.
Surprisingly, he was angry at his wife’s decision to call her mother just to take a shower. “I could have watched her. Why would you do that?” he asked, to which the Redditor responded, “Every time you watch her while I shower, she ends up in here with me within 2 minutes of me being in here because you don’t even try to calm her down.”
A mother with her baby | Source: Shutterstock
Therefore, after five days of trying to shave her legs, she could not wait to enjoy the warm water hitting her body and relaxing her muscles. “I need to self-care,” the Redditor emphasized.
The original poster’s honest account of her experience as a new mother erupted in a chorus of voices from commenters sharing their own experiences and offering support. One commenter challenged the husband’s logic and suggested, “If, according to hubby, showers calm her down, why isn’t he taking her on his 30-60 minute showers?”
A mother looking stressed with her child | Source: Shutterstock
Another suggestion was for the OP to lock the door as a temporary solution and to teach her husband a lesson on respecting someone’s privacy. Another Reddit user said the husband made himself look bad in front of his mother-in-law, but it was time he realized that he could also parent his daughter without always running to his wife.
The discussion took a deeper dive into the dynamics of communication and support within the relationship. Commenters pointed out the absurdity that the husband had been more concerned about his wife calling her mother rather than making sure that his wife’s well-being was attended to. “You found a way around it. And now, even knowing how hard it’s been for you, he’s still not actually concerned about you; he’s just worried about how it looks to your mum,” remarked a commenter.
A man sitting next to a crib looking stressed | Source: Shutterstock
One mother said her husband once interrupted her hair appointment but she had a serious conversation with him and made him look back at the number of haircuts he had had since their baby arrived. She told him never to interrupt her alone time unless it was an emergency, so the commenter advised the OP to have the same stern conversation with her husband.
A couple fighting | Source: Shutterstock
Another commenter shared a personal story of how her husband had slacked at the beginning of their parenting journey and how she eventually found a way to work as a team. The mother said her baby was a bit fussy on the first night home and she would always take the lead and calm her down.
But after three days, she put on earplugs and requested her husband only wake her up when the baby needed a feed and let her partner take care of the baby during the night, which led to a more equitable parenting dynamic.
The commenter added that allocating responsibilities helped them both understand the difficulty and joy of caring for a newborn, but it also allowed them to foster empathy and understanding. “That night, my partner became an equal parent,” the commenter added.
Here is a story about a newborn who cried nonstop no matter what the parents did. But they eventually realized the answer to their child’s misery was in the crib.
Parent’s devastating decision – forced to pull the plug on 13-year-old daughter after sleepover horror
Devastated parents forced to pull the plug on their 13-year-old daughter after sleepover horror. They’ve now issued a warning to spare others from the same tragedy.
When Esra Haynes died, she was just 13 years old, and the reason for her tragic death is bizarre.
This young girl who was referred to as “determined, fun, cheeky and talented” by the Montrose Football Netball Club that she co-captained, got caught in a viral craze called chrominghttps://comsoftvn.com/in-order-to-pick…a-tiny-stray-dog/, which involves inhaling toxic chemicals through the mouth or nose to get high.
Esra was an athlete and lead a healthy life, racing BMX bikes with her brothers, and leading her team to a national aerobics’ championship in Queensland. But all that was taken away from her after a wrong decision she made on March 31 during a sleepover at a friend’s house.
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As she wanted to be part of the viral trend, Esra inhaled a toxic amount of aerosol deodorant and went into cardiac arrest, sustaining irreparable brain damage.
Her parents were devastated. Appearing on A Current Affair with host Ally Langdon, they spoke of the heartbreak and the fatal consequences of inhaling toxic chemicals in an attempt to prevent something similar from happening to other naive young people.
“It was just the regular routine of going to hang out with her mates,” her mom Andrea, told Langdon in the interview. Her father Paul added, “We always knew where she was and we knew who she was with.
It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary…To get this phone call at that time of night, (it) was one of the calls no parent ever wants to have to receive, and we unfortunately got that call: ‘Come and get your daughter.’”
Initially, her friends weren’t aware how serious Esra’s condition was. They only thought she was having a panic attack, not aware that their friends was dying right in front of their eyes. “But after inhaling deodorant, her body was actually starting to shut down, she was in cardiac arrest and no one at the sleepover used cardiac arrest,” Langdon explained.
When her mom arrived by Esra’s side, paramedics were trying to revive her and told Andrea that her daughter had been chroming, a word that the scared mother heard for the first time ever.
Esra was transferred to the hospital and was placed on life support, but just eight hours later, the parents were told that her brain was damaged beyond repair and that needed to make a decision to turn the life support off.
Knowing there was nothing that could be done, Andrea and Paul called relatives and family members to say their final goodbyes. “It was a very, very difficult thing to do to such a young soul. She was put onto a bed so we could lay with her. We cuddled her until the end.”
Esra’s siblings, Imogen, Seth and Charlie are have been shattered ever since their sister is gone.
“It was really devastating, devastating for everyone involved, all her friends as well,” Paul said. “It’s been the most difficult, traumatic time any parent could go through. We haven’t been sleeping, we’ve hardly been eating, we haven’t been smiling–we’re not ourselves…But it’s not just affected us, it’s the community as well.”
Following Esra’s passing, Andrea and Paul are doing all in their power to put an end to the crazy viral craze that took their daughter’s life.
Speaking to 7 News, Paul said he wished he knew of chroming when Esra was still alive, so he could have warned her of the dangers: “If we were educated and the word had been put out there, we would have had the discussion around our kitchen table for sure.
“We need to ramp it up and let these kids find out the information first-hand, and not through friends, and not through social media–then they’re given the right advice off the bat.”
Esra isn’t the first victim of chroming. Over the years, a number of young people lost their lives from the consequences of it as it can easily lead to seizures, heart attack, suffocation, sudden sniffing death, coma, and organ failure.
“We’ve got the pictures in our mind which will never be erased, you know, of what we were confronted with,” Paul told Langdon. “Our gut was ripped out.”
We are so very sorry for this family’s loss and we wish no parent ever experiences such heartbreak.
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