I treasured my mother’s ashes for three years after her death. Her urn was that one sacred thing I asked my fiancée to never touch. But in her rush to make our home spotless, my fiancée vacuumed up the ashes, threw them out with the trash, and hid the truth from me.
Does the death of a loved one mean they’re gone from us forever? My mother Rosemary was my sun, moon, stars, and everything in between. After her death, I still felt her presence through the urn that held her ashes. Until the day my fiancée decided to “clean” our apartment, and my world shattered all over again.
An older lady’s framed photo, an urn, and glowing candles on a table | Source: Midjourney
The evening air was thick with memories as I stood in our living room, touching the silver frame that held Mom’s favorite photo.
She wore her favorite white dress and smiled at the camera, her eyes crinkling at the corners.
It had been five days since the accident that killed Mom, but some days, the pain felt as fresh as the morning I got the call from the hospital.
A man holding an older woman’s framed photo | Source: Midjourney
“Hey, Christian,” my sister Florence called from the couch. She had moved in after Mom passed, and her presence helped fill the echoing emptiness of my heart.
“Remember how Mom would always say grace before dinner, even if we were just having cereal?”
I smiled, running my finger along the frame. “Yeah, and remember how she’d catch us sneaking cookies before dinner? She’d try to look stern but end up laughing instead.”
A sad woman looking at someone | Source: Midjourney
“God, the way she’d put her hands on her hips,” Florence said, wiping her eyes. “Like she was trying so hard to be mad at us.”
“‘Lord give me strength!’” we said in unison, mimicking Mom’s exasperated tone, and for a moment, it felt like she was there with us.
The front door opened, and my girlfriend Kiara walked in, her footsteps hesitant. She’d been like that since Mom died, always hovering at the edges of our grief, never quite knowing how to step in.
A woman in the hallway | Source: Midjourney
“I picked up dinner,” she said, holding up a takeout bag. “Chinese. From that place you like, Christian.”
“Thanks,” I replied coldly. Something had changed between us since Mom’s death. It was like a wall had grown where there used to be an open door.
Two weeks after the funeral, I came home early from work to find Kiara packing a suitcase. The sight stopped me cold in the doorway.
“Where are you going?” I asked, though the answer was written in every careful fold of clothing she placed in the bag.
A woman packing her clothes | Source: Pexels
She didn’t look up. “I need some time, Christian. This… all of this… it’s too much.”
“Too much? My mother died, Kiara. What did you expect?”
“I don’t know how to help you!” She finally met my eyes, her own filled with tears. “You cry every night. You spend hours staring at her pictures. You and Florence keep talking about memories I wasn’t part of, and I feel like an outsider in my own home.”
“So your solution is to leave? When I need you most?”
A sad man looking at someone | Source: Midjourney
“Please try to understand—”
“Understand what? That my girlfriend of four years can’t handle a few weeks of grief? That you’d rather run away than support me?”
“That’s not fair!” Kiara’s hands trembled as she folded another shirt. “I’m trying my best! But it looks like you’ll take forever to move on, Chris.”
“Your best?” I grabbed the shirt from her hands. “Your best is packing your bags while I’m at work? Not even having the decency to tell me to my face that you care more about yourself than me… and my grief?”
A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney
“I was going to call you—”
“Oh, that makes it so much better!” I threw the shirt across the room. “What happened to ‘I’ll always be there for you’? What happened to ‘we’re in this together’?”
“I’m not equipped for this, Christian. I can’t be what you need right now.”
“I never asked you to be anything but present, Kiara. Just to sit with me, to hold my hand, to let me know I’m not alone. But I guess that’s too much to ask, isn’t it?”
A distressed man with a woman | Source: Pexels
She picked up her suitcase, her shoulders shaking. “I’m staying with my friend Shannon for a while. I’ll text you. I just… I need space to figure this out.”
“Figure what out? How to be a decent human being? Go ahead, run away. It’s what you’re good at, isn’t it?”
Kiara left without saying anything.
Florence moved in the next day, bringing with her the comfort of shared grief and understanding. We spent evenings looking through old photo albums, crying together, and laughing at memories of Mom’s terrible dancing and amazing cooking.
A man watching a woman leave with her bag | Source: Pexels
“She would have hated this,” Florence said one night, gesturing at the takeout containers littering our coffee table. “Remember how she used to say fast food was ‘the devil’s cooking’?”
“But she’d still take us to McDonald’s after doctor appointments,” I added, smiling at the memory. “Said it was ‘medicinal French fries.’”
“Chris, did Kiara call?”
“Nope! Just texted. You know, I stayed with her through her father’s illness, her bad days, her everything. And yet here I am, alone in my own grief. I needed her, but maybe she just didn’t love me enough.”
An upset an sitting on the couch | Source: Pexels
The only way Kiara contacted me was through texts like, “Hope you’re okay.”
I typed and deleted, “I needed you, Kiara.” But sent, “I’m managing. Thanks.”
A month after Kiara left, she asked to meet at our usual coffee shop. She sat across from me, looking smaller somehow, her hands wrapped around an untouched latte.
“Shannon’s boyfriend confronted me yesterday,” she hesitantly began. “Called me selfish and cold-hearted. Said I abandoned you when you needed me most.”
A woman in a coffee shop | Source: Unsplash
I stayed silent, watching her struggle with the words.
“He was right,” Kiara continued. “I’ve started therapy, Christian. I want to be better. I want to learn how to be there for you, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.”
“How do I know you won’t leave again?” I asked, the fear raw in my voice.
“Because I love you,” she replied, reaching across the table. “And I’m learning that love means staying, even when it hurts. Even when you don’t know what to say or do. I’m sorry for being a jerk.”
A woman holding a man’s hand | Source: Unsplash
Life settled into a new pattern after that. Kiara moved back in, and three years later, we started planning our wedding.
Mom’s urn remained on its special table in the corner, surrounded by her photos and her plastic rosary — the one she’d carried everywhere, even to the grocery store.
“We should divide the ashes,” I suggested to Florence one evening. “You could have half.”
She shook her head, touching the urn gently. “No, let’s keep them together. It’s what Mom would have wanted.”
An urn on a shelf | Source: Midjourney
I nodded, tears welling up in my eyes as I thought about Mom and how much I’d miss her at my wedding. I’d already decided: the urn with her ashes would have a special spot in the front row of the church. It would make me feel like Mom was there, blessing me as I took this important step in my life.
The wedding planning consumed our days. And Kiara seemed different. She was more present and understanding.
She held me when the grief hit unexpectedly, sat through stories about Mom without fidgeting, and even asked questions about her sometimes.
Grayscale shot of bridal accessories | Source: Pexels
Then, the call from Florence came on a Tuesday evening, just three days before my wedding. “Hey, Chris? I was wondering if I could have Mom’s rosary. The plastic one? I found a photo of her holding it, and—”
“Of course,” I said, moving toward the urn. “Let me just—”
The words died in my throat as I opened it. Inside, where Mom’s ashes should have been, sat a Ziploc bag filled with… SAND? The rosary lay beside it, exactly where I’d left it three years ago.
The front door opened, and Kiara walked in carrying shopping bags. One look at my face, and hers drained of color.
“What did you do to Mom’s ashes?” I asked.
A man pointing a finger | Source: Pexels
She set the bags down slowly, her hands trembling. “Honey, it’s not what you think. I didn’t do it intentionally—”
“What did you do, Kiara?”
A long silence followed. Then she confessed, “I was cleaning while you were at work a few months ago. The apartment needed a deep clean, and—”
“And what?”
“I picked up the urn to clean the table and accidentally dropped it. It shattered. I quickly assembled the ashes into a bag. But the bag tore. The ashes spilled onto the carpet. I… I panicked. I vacuumed them up and threw the ashes into the trash outside.”
My knees buckled. “You vacuumed my mother’s ashes and threw them in the trash?”
A woman using a vacuum cleaner | Source: Pexels
“I didn’t know what to do. I got some sand from the park nearby. Found a replica of the same urn in the antique shop downtown. I filled it up with the sand. I… I thought you’d never open it again.”
“Never open it? You thought I’d never want to see my mother’s ashes again?”
“I was trying to clean the house. It was just an accident.”
“Clean?” I slammed my hand against the wall. “Those weren’t dust bunnies under the couch, Kiara! That was my mother! The only physical piece of her I had left!”
A shocked man | Source: Midjourney
“I’m sorry, Christian!” she sobbed. “I wasn’t thinking!”
“Clearly!” I picked up the urn, cradling it to my chest. “You weren’t thinking when you decided to ‘clean’ around the one thing I specifically asked you never to touch. You weren’t thinking when you vacuumed up my mother’s remains like they were dirt. And you certainly weren’t thinking when you replaced them with sand and lied to my face for months!”
“Please, Christian, we can fix this—”
“Fix this? How exactly do you propose we fix this, Kiara? Should we go dumpster diving? Should we sift through garbage bags looking for my mother’s ashes?”
An emotional, teary-eyed woman | Source: Midjourney
“I’ll do anything—”
“Did you even try, Kiara? Did you even attempt to salvage anything? Or did you just panic and run to the park for sand, like you always run away when things get hard?”
Her silence filled the room like poison.
“That’s what I thought.” I started gathering Mom’s photos from the table before dumping the sand from the urn. “You know what the worst part is? I actually believed you’d changed. I thought all that therapy and all those promises meant something. But you’re still the same person who left me when my mother died. You’re still running from the hard stuff.”
Close-up shot of an angry man yelling at a woman | Source: Pexels
“Our wedding’s in three days. Please… I’m sorry. Don’t leave me. Where are you going, Christian?”
“Away from you!” I grabbed my keys and things. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
Before stepping out, I looked back, hoping stupidly for a sign of regret. Anything to show she understood what she’d done.
But Kiara just stared at the floor, her face unreadable, and already distant. My chest tightened, and the last bit of hope drained out of me. Without another word, I turned and left, the empty urn heavy in my hands.
A man walking away with a suitcase | Source: Pexels
The hotel room I checked in felt sterile and cold. I sat on the edge of the bed, Mom’s photos spread around me. My phone buzzed continuously with messages from Kiara, but I couldn’t bring myself to read them.
How would I tell Florence? How could I explain that the last piece of our mother was likely buried in a landfill or blown away like dust because my fiancée treated her remains like dirt?
As dawn broke, I stared at the urn one last time, realizing I was left with only emptiness and betrayal.
A distressed man | Source: Pexels
Things would never be the same, and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to forgive my fiancée. Maybe I didn’t want to. Maybe I never could. But deep down, in a corner of my heart, I hoped my mother would forgive me.
I took the rosary, feeling the familiar smooth plastic under my fingers.
“The night before your accident, you made Florence and me promise to keep it safe, Mom. Said it would help us find our way when we felt lost,” I whispered, tears brimming in my eyes.
“Maybe that’s why you wanted us to have it. Because you knew that someday, we’d need something more than your ashes to hold onto.”
A man holding a rosary | Source: Pixabay
I clutched the rosary tighter, remembering Mom’s words, “Love isn’t in the things we keep, dear. It’s in the memories we make and the forgiveness we offer.”
I don’t know if I can forgive Kiara. Every time I close my eyes, I see Mom’s ashes being sucked away into nothing. How do you forgive something like that?
I stepped out onto the seashore nearby. The city lights blurred through my tears as I clutched the empty urn and rosary to my chest. A gentle breeze stirred, reminding me of how Mom used to say the wind carried whispers from heaven.
An emotional man’s eyes | Source: Unsplash
“I’m sorry, Mom,” I said, looking up at the sky. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect your ashes. I had one job — to keep you safe. But I failed. But I want you to know… wherever you are… that you’re still here with me. In every breath I take, in every memory I hold, and in every prayer these beads have witnessed. I love you, Mom. I’ll love you until my last breath and beyond that. Please forgive me.”
The wind seemed to wrap around me like one of her warm embraces, and for a moment, I could almost hear her whisper, “There’s nothing to forgive, dear. Nothing at all. Love you too.”
Silhouette of a man standing on the seashore | Source: Pexels
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
Inside Tanya Roberts’ shocking handwritten will
Tanya Roberts was one of the sexiest and funniest actresses of her time, dazzling audiences with her stunning beauty and talent in That ’70s Show and Charlie’s Angels.
Tragically, her unexpected passing was marked by confusion, as her boyfriend mistakenly announced her death , adding a bizarre twist to the loss of this vibrant star.
Before we dive into the bizarre circumstances surrounding Tanya Roberts’ passing, let’s take a moment to celebrate her incredible contributions to the screen.
In a world where her legacy seems somewhat overlooked today, a closer look at her impressive career reveals just how unforgettable she truly was. And I’m sure she created cherished memories for many of you reading this.
Running away from home
Born Victoria Leigh Blum in 1949, Tanya Roberts grew up in the gritty Bronx of New York City. The little girl with ice-blue eyes lived in a poor old house with her mother and big sisters. Despite her modest life, Roberts had big dreams of wearing beautiful clothes, riding horses, living in a mansion, and shopping in limousines. Most of all, she wanted to be a star in Hollywood.
At just 15 years old, she took a bold step and ran away to chase her dreams. This was after her family had moved to Toronto, where a tragic event would lead Roberts to distance herself from them. One day, shortly after her father tragically passed away, Tanya felt the walls closing in on her.
In that moment, she decided to leave home. After a heated argument with her mother, Roberts packed her bags and moved to a place in the Village, a neighborhood in Toronto. She supported herself by selling dance lessons to ”old guys”, who lusted after her body.
It wasn’t long before she met another boy, Colin, who had also dropped out of school. She fell head over heels for him.
“It just happened. A stupid, spontaneous thing. Colin was two years older than me, a Canadian, a dropout, doing nothing. It was a love affair that turned into hatred. We never were friends. We didn’t get along at all. But I loved him, you know. I was butterflies. I’d look at him and gasp, ‘Oh my God!’ I responded to the palpitations of the heart.”
Married in secret
The couple was together for seven months and married in secret. They moved to New York together, but then Colin’s mother intervened, annulling the marriage. Roberts and Colin were far too young and hadn’t received their parents’ consent.
Roberts never told her mother about the marriage; she didn’t want to shock her. Soon after, the relationship with Colin ended, but another man entered Roberts’s life— one who would change her whole life.
As Tanya Roberts pursued her acting dreams in New York, she met Barry Roberts while waiting in line for a movie. He was a truck driver earning $30 a week, and he quickly became her next great love.
It was actually Tanya who proposed to Barry in a subway station, and they quickly tied the knot in 1973. Her husband had originally set his sights on becoming a psychologist but soon dropped out of his studies to write scripts for various TV networks.
The couple moved to Hollywood, determined to lead as normal a life as possible.
”You know you’ve got the right guy when you can sit at home with him Saturday night, just you and him and pizza,” Tanya shared in 1980.
For most of their lives, Tanya and Barry lived peacefully and happily, tucked away in the serene and private surroundings of their secluded home in the Hollywood Hills.
“Living here is like being in the country, but civilization isn’t far away when I need it,” Tanya exclusively shared with Closer Weekly in 2015. “It’s the house I’d always dreamed of.”
Spell on Charlie’s Angels
Tanya Roberts’ upbringing on the streets of Bronx served her well when she landed the role of the streetwise Julie Roberts in Charlie’s Angels. Before that, she had already made a name for herself as a model in television ads and took on serious roles in off-Broadway productions like Picnic and Antigone.
However, it was in the summer of 1980 that the world truly took notice of her.
Tanya was chosen from over 2,000 candidates to replace Shelley Hack in the beloved detective series Charlie’s Angels, which was struggling to attract viewers.
The producers hoped that the vibrant 26-year-old would inject new life into the show alongside her co-stars, Jaclyn Smith, the last original ‘Angel,’ and Cheryl Ladd. With her charisma and talent, Tanya was determined to help turn the series around.
”I think there’s a lot of enthusiasm on the set. We are a real team. It’s very important for us to get along because it shows in our work. I think it’s hard do continually make a classy show every week for five years with three girls. It’s not Shakespeare but I think the public looks forward to seeing something new every week,” Roberts told The Daily Herald-Tribune in 1981.
Unfortunately, despite her efforts, Roberts — who described herself as a ‘workaholic’— couldn’t revive the series, and Charlie’s Angels was canceled in 1981.
However, her talent and dedication led to new opportunities in her career.
Nominated for Golden Raspberry Award
After Charlie’s Angels, Robert’s starred in a string of films that gained cult status, including The Beastmaster (1982), Sheena: Queen of the Jungle (1984), Body Slam (1987), and Night Eyes (1990).
Most people, however, associate her with her iconic roles as Stacey Sutton in the 1985 James Bond film A View to a Kill and as Midge Pinciotti on That ’70s Show, where she captivated audiences from 1998 to 2004.
In A View to a Kill, Tanya Roberts starred alongside Roger Moore, and the film became a massive box office success. However, critics weren’t entirely convinced; in retrospect, Moore himself expressed disappointment, stating that it was his worst Bond film due to its excessive blood and violence.
At 57, the Hollywood legend faced criticism for being too old for the role, and he even quipped about the age gap, revealing that he was mortified to discover he was older than Roberts’ mother. In a December 2007 interview, he humorously remarked, ”I was only about four hundred years too old for the part.”
Tanya, too, faced her share of criticism after her Bond debut. Interestingly, she wasn’t the original choice for the role. Producers had initially hoped to cast Priscilla Presley, but she was tied up with her contract for Dallas. They even considered former Bond girl Barbara Bach before ultimately selecting Tanya Roberts. Despite her efforts, she was nominated for a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Actress, although she lost the dubious honor to Linda Blair, who appeared in Night Patrol.
Losing her husband
For the younger generation, many recognize Tanya Roberts from her role as Midge Pinciotti on the beloved sitcom That ’70s Show. She was a cherished presence on the show but had to leave after the third season.
The reason? Her husband, Barry, had become seriously ill, and she wanted to be there for him. Tragically, Barry died at the age of 60 after a long four-and-a-half-year battle with encephalitis, a condition that causes inflammation of the brain tissue, leading to personality changes, seizures, and weakness.
Tanya and Barry stood by each other from their marriage in 1973 until his passing in 2006. The couple never had any children.
Mysterious death
After the heartbreaking loss of her husband Barry in 2006, Tanya Roberts found love again with Lance O’Brien. The two met while working for Tahiti Village, a Las Vegas resort — Tanya as a spokesmodel. They spent 18 years together, seemingly inseparable, but their world took a tragic turn in December 2020.
At 71, Tanya was still vibrant and full of life, known for her daily hikes up the Hollywood Hills. Described as ”healthy as a horse,” there was no indication of any serious health issues. However, just before Christmas, Tanya began experiencing lower intestinal pain and difficulty breathing.
These symptoms surfaced during one of her hikes, and though she initially thought it might be COVID-19. Early the next morning, she collapsed, unable to get up, and was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Hospital.
Doctors determined Tanya had developed a severe urinary tract infection that had progressed to sepsis. The infection quickly spread to her liver, kidneys, and gallbladder, ultimately leading to multi-organ failure.
Tubes up her nose
“She was talking when I called 911. Next thing I know, she’s in intensive care on oxygen and she’s extremely sick,” O’Brien shared with the Daily Mail.
When O’Brien was finally allowed to see her, Tanya was barely conscious, kept alive by a ventilator. The iconic actress, who had once graced screens as a glamorous star, could only blink in response to her partner’s presence.
”When she saw me and I was there, I saw her eyes open,” he said. “I felt good. I said, ‘Hey, her eyes are opening. Her eyes are opening.’ They told me that’s just a reflex,” O’Brien told Inside Edition.
Sadly, Tanya’s final days were both chaotic and heartbreaking.
O’Brien expressed his frustration with the hospital’s handling of Tanya’s care, stating, “She had tubes up her nose and throat, and they kept calling her Victoria —she hasn’t been called that since she was a teenager. It was so busy, I can’t begin to tell you what an awful, terrible experience it was.”
“I think COVID played a big part in it,” O’Brien added. “If you called the hospital, it sounded like something out of [sitcom] M.A.S.H.”
Cause of death
Tanya’s condition worsened, and on January 3, 2021, she was taken off life support. The beloved star passed away on January 4.
However, the aftermath of her death was even more chaotic. The news of Tanya’s passing was initially announced prematurely by her publicist, leading to confusion.
In a bizarre twist, O’Brien learned she was still alive during a live interview with Inside Edition.
“Now, you’re telling me she’s alive?” O’Brien exclaimed, answering a phone call from the hospital mid-interview. Crying, he added, “The hospital is telling me she is alive. They are calling me from the ICU team.”
Eventually, all the confusion cleared up, and it became evident that Tanya Roberts had indeed passed away. However, the mix-ups didn’t stop there – several sources incorrectly reported her age as 65 at the time of her death. Despite the fact that she was actually 71, some outlets still haven’t corrected this mistake, even three years later.
Her last will
The handwritten note left behind by Tanya Roberts offered a hauntingly intimate and bittersweet glimpse into her final thoughts. According to Fox News, Roberts left her entire estate, valued at over $3 million, to her longtime partner, Lance O’Brien. She signed the note using both her Hollywood name, Tanya Roberts, and her birth name, Victoria Blum.
“I have no reason to live,” Tanya wrote, and she also made it clear that none of her estate would go to her sister, Barbara Leary, or her nephew, Zack Leary.
Instead, Roberts left everything to O’Brien, though the letter suggests their relationship may not have been as loving as it seemed to the public.
”I want to leave my house … and all its belongings to my best friend Lance O’Brien – I also leave my two dogs and my Pension Plan check to Lance O’Brien,” the actress penned, as captured in images obtained by Page Six.
Perhaps the most heartbreaking part of the note comes when she acknowledged the disconnect in their relationship. ”I know you don’t love me but you have been a true friend & for that I’m [grateful],” she wrote. ”Have a good life & don’t blame this on yourself. I was always [too] sensitive to live in this world.”
Behind the face
Tanya Roberts’ final chapter may have been marked by sorrow and confusion, but it’s important to remember the light she brought into the world.
When you take a moment to look back at old photos of her — whether she’s on set, starring in her iconic roles, or even candid behind-the-scenes shots — a picture emerges of a woman who was not only stunningly beautiful but fiercely independent.
At just 15, she knew exactly what she wanted out of life. Becoming a Charlie’s Angel made her immortal in Hollywood’s eyes, but what really stood out was how she handled fame. While some may have expected her journey through stardom to come with heartbreak, bad roles, or failed marriages, Tanya took a different path.
She remained loyal to her husband, Barry Roberts, staying by his side through illness and even stepping away from her career to care for him. That kind of dedication and strength speaks volumes about the kind of woman she truly was.
Looking back at those early photos and moments reminds us of her grace, resilience, and the lasting impression she left on her fans and loved ones alike!
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