My story is about how my ex-husband’s girlfriend realized a truth about him that I grew too comfortable with while married to him. With one important question, his new girlfriend taught me a valuable lesson about self-love after reaching out unexpectedly.
I’ve been divorced for five years now, and it’s been an interesting journey navigating life post-marriage. My ex-husband, Ben, 48, and I, 45, were together for 13 years and had two wonderful kids. Even after our split, we’ve managed to stay on good terms.
We co-parent effectively despite our marriage having its ups and downs. Ben and I are best friends and have also maintained a friendship that surprises most people. Our divorce wasn’t messy; we simply wanted different things out of life.
Yesterday was our eldest’s 16th birthday, and we decided to celebrate with a family dinner. Ben has been seeing someone new, a woman named Lisa, for about four months. He told me about her as soon as their relationship got serious.
Transparency was part of our agreement to keep things open and honest for the sake of our children. He asked if he could bring Lisa to the birthday dinner, and while I wasn’t thrilled as I would have preferred to meet her one-on-one first, I didn’t want to cause any drama or be intrusive. So, I agreed.
On that fateful day, I finally got to meet Lisa who was friendly, and eager to make a good impression, which was a relief. I preferred her to be a good person if she was going to be around my children.
She’s got a kind smile and she immediately struck up a conversation with me about the kids’ school and activities. I could tell she was trying hard to fit in, which I appreciated.
As the evening went on, I noticed how attentive Lisa was to Ben. It was sweet but also a little unsettling because I never saw that side of him during our marriage. I chalked it up to new relationship energy and tried to focus on the kids and the celebration.
Halfway through dinner, things got weird when my eldest handed me a birthday card from her father. This caught me off guard because my birthday was months ago. No one usually remembers it, and Ben has never been one to recall such occasions.
Don’t get me wrong, my children’s father is a great man. But he’s really terrible with things like anniversaries, birthdays, or any special occasions. During all the years we were together, Ben never got me a present or card.
It was also my responsibility to handle events like the kids’ birthdays, Christmas, and more. I don’t know if I was wrong for this, but his forgetfulness didn’t bother me. I thanked my daughter, feeling touched by the gesture.
Lisa, sitting across from me, saw my surprise. I had assumed she’d made him get it, but then I noticed how she was giving me these funny looks. Unsure what they meant, I decided to mingle with other guests to avoid the awkwardness.
But, Lisa somehow managed to get my attention. “Ben mentioned he’s not great with birthdays,” she said with a chuckle. “He forgot mine a few weeks ago. Is it intentional?”
I laughed, remembering all the missed anniversaries and forgotten special days. “I have no idea, Lisa, but 13 years of marriage and two kids wasn’t the benchmark because he never really got the hang of it,” I replied. “It’s just who he is.”
Lisa seemed disappointed and tried to hide it, but I thought nothing of it and wandered off to talk to other guests. I decided to shift the conversation to something lighter and talked about family plans and the upcoming holidays. The rest of the evening went smoothly, and we all parted ways with smiles and hugs.
Later that night, as I was getting ready for bed, I received a text from an unknown number. It was my ex’s new girlfriend. “Hi, this is Lisa. I got your number from Ben. I hope it’s okay to text you. I wanted to ask you something.”
Curious, I replied, “Sure, what’s up?”
Her response came quickly and when I read it, I was STUNNED. She hadn’t gotten over our brief conversation earlier and was asking if Ben’s forgetfulness of special occasions was something that could be fixed. “I know this might seem odd because we touched on it earlier, but I need to know…”
“…Does Ben ever improve when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries? I don’t want to make a big deal out of it if it’s something that won’t change.” I stared at my phone, feeling a mix of emotions. Part of me wanted to warn her, to tell her not to ever expect much.
But another part of me debated whether to give Ben a heads-up as it seemed like this was a serious issue for his new girlfriend and that she expected more attention to such things. Yet, a part of me resented having to teach him to be better about something he never tried with me.
I also felt like it wasn’t my place to interfere. After a moment, I typed back, “Honestly, he’s my ex for a reason. I can’t say if he’ll change or not, and I’m not going to have the answers you need.” I continued, “It’s something you’ll have to figure out together. Lovely meeting you, though.”
Months went by without much thought about that night. Then, one evening, Ben called me out of the blue. “Lisa and I broke up,” he said, sounding frustrated.
“What happened?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“She kept making a big deal out of nothing, busy complaining about birthdays and anniversaries. I told her it’s not something I care about, and she just wouldn’t let it go,” he said, sounding furious.
“It turned into this huge argument when I forgot our anniversary, and she left,” he explained, his voice tinged with annoyance.
I sighed, feeling a twinge of guilt as I wondered if I could’ve helped them if I had been more supportive of Lisa when she texted me. “Ben, did she tell you it was important to her?” I asked, feeling like my responses to Lisa played a part in their breakup.
He was silent for a moment. “She told me on many occasions that such things were important to her.”
“But WHO CARES! You never made it a big deal,” he said defensively.
Tired of coddling him, I said, “Well, sir, and that’s why we divorced.”
“That’s mean, Kim,” my ex replied, sounding sad.
“Look, I’m sorry, but I stopped trying because I knew it wouldn’t matter to you,” I replied calmly. “But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t important to me. Or to her. You have to meet people halfway.”
Ben grumbled something under his breath, and I could tell he wasn’t ready to accept that truth. We ended the call on a neutral note, and I sat there, thinking about Lisa. She deserved someone who would appreciate her efforts and reciprocate her feelings.
A few days later, I bumped into Lisa at the grocery store. She looked tired but managed a smile when she saw me. “Hi, how are you?” she asked politely.
“I’m good, thanks. How about you?” I replied, genuinely concerned.
“I’ve been better,” she admitted. “Ben and I broke up.”
“I heard,” I said softly. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
She sighed. “I couldn’t deal with feeling unimportant. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to care.”
I nodded, understanding her frustration all too well. “It’s hard when someone doesn’t value what you do. You deserve someone who will.”
Lisa smiled sadly. “Thanks. I appreciate that. I guess I hoped he could change.”
“Change is hard for some people,” I said gently. “But don’t lose hope. You’ll find someone who values you.”
We parted ways, and I felt a strange sense of closure. Lisa’s struggle mirrored my past frustrations, but it also highlighted how much I had grown since my marriage ended. I had learned to accept Ben’s flaws, but I also realized that I deserved more than what he was willing to give.
That evening, I sat down with my children and talked about their dad. I wanted them to understand that while he had his shortcomings, he loved them deeply. We laughed about his forgetfulness and shared stories of the good times we had as a family.
As I reflected on everything, I felt a deep sense of peace. I had moved on from the hurt and disappointment and was ready to embrace whatever the future held. I hoped Lisa would find the happiness she deserved, and I knew that I had done the right thing by not getting too involved in their relationship.
In the end, it wasn’t about birthdays or anniversaries. It was about finding someone who truly valued and appreciated you for who you are. I did not doubt that Lisa would find that person someday, and I knew I was finally content with my own life.
As I looked at my children, I felt grateful for the love and joy they brought into my life. We had our good and bad moments, but we were a family, and that was what mattered most. And as for Ben, I hoped he would eventually learn to value the important things in life.
For now, I was happy. I had my kids, friends, and a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in a long time. And that was more than enough.
If you enjoyed Kim’s story, you’ll love this one about a woman who got pregnant around the same time her son’s girlfriend was also expecting. The son’s girlfriend caused a rift in the family when she made demands of his mother about naming her child.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
‘DWTS’ star, mocked as orphan for spotty skin, dies at 29, – adoptive mom dies next day
The ballet world is mourning the death of Dancing with the Stars’ Michaela Mabinty DePrince, an inspirational ballerina who beat staggering odds to become one of the world’s most famous dancers.
Michaela, an orphan from war-torn Sierra Leone, was a dancer with the Boston Ballet who gained widespread notoriety after starring in the 2011 documentary First Position. She died September 10 at only 29.
Adding to the family’s tragic loss, Michaela’s adoptive mom – who rescued Michaela from the filthy shelter where she was told she was “too ugly” to find a family – died only 24 hours later.
After her father was brutally killed in war-torn Sierra Leone and her mother died from fever, four-year-old Michaela Mabinty DePrince was abandoned by her uncle in a shelter where staff every day tried to break her spirit.
Known then as “Number 27” a young Michaela had little hope of finding a family as she had vitiligo, a condition that causes patches of skin to lose pigmentation.
The young girl, called “the devil child” because of her patchy skin, was told repeatedly that she was too ugly to be picked.
“We were all ranked from the most favored to the least, and I was at the very bottom for being rebellious and having a skin condition called vitiligo, which produces white freckles on my neck and chest,” Michaela said, adding she slept on a grass sleeping mat with “Number 26.”
Aside from the vomit-stained nightgown she was wearing, all she had was a magazine, which according to Glamour had (literally) blown onto her face. And on the cover was a ballerina en pointe – a dancer supporting all her body weight on the tips of her toes.
“The dancer looked beautiful and happy, that’s what caught my eye,” Michaela tells Glamour. “I wanted to be happy.”
And the crumpled old photo of the ballerina was the first thing she handed Elaine DePrince, who took her to her new home in New Jersey.
“There was so much love right away,” said Michaela, who over the next two decades would be the prima ballerina on the cover of magazines. “I had never been surrounded by something like that.”
‘My life is proof’
Michaela’s passion for dancing was ignited at a young age, and she pursued her dreams with remarkable dedication.
In 2011, Michaela became one of the stars of First Position, a documentary that followed six gifted dancers leading up to the competition for a place in the prestigious American Ballet Theatre’s Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis School of Ballet (JKO)
She not only earned a spot but was also awarded a scholarship to study at JKO.
The same year the award-winning documentary was released, Michaela also appeared on Dancing with the Stars.
“My life is proof that no matter what situation you’re in, as long as you have a supportive family, you can achieve anything,” Michaela said.
In 2012, the talented ballerina joined the renowned Dance Theatre of Harlem, where she continued to shine as a rising star. Her exceptional talent and grace later led her to the Dutch National Ballet, where the War Child Ambassador further established herself as a formidable presence in the ballet world.
While she was living in Amsterdam and training for The Nutcracker, she received a call, inviting her to travel to New Orleans and dance in Beyonce’s hour-long video, Lemonade, which was released in 2016.
Speaking with the Wall Street Journal of meeting the pop sensation, Michaela said, “She walked up to me and said, ‘It’s such an honor to have you here.’ I was really cheesy and said, ‘The honor is mine.’ I was on cloud nine.”
‘Beacon of hope’
On September 10, her family released a heartbreaking message about the principal soloist with the Boston Ballet.
“Rest in Power,” the post starts about the dancer who died on September 10. “With pain in our hearts, we share the loss of star ballerina Michaela Mabinty DePrince, whose artistry touched countless hearts and whose spirit inspired many, leaving an indelible mark on the world of ballet, and beyond.”
The Facebook post describes Michaela as an inspiration who “stood as a beacon of hope for many, showing that no matter the obstacles, beauty and greatness can rise from the darkest of places.”
The cause of her death has not yet been released.
Mom ‘spared the pain’
Only 24 hours after Michaela’s sudden death, her doting adoptive mom Elaine DePrince died on September 11 “during a routine procedure in preparation for a surgery.”
A family statement on Facebook explains that at the time of Elaine’s death, she was unaware that her daughter had died.
“As unbelievable as it may seem, the two deaths were completely unrelated. The only way we can make sense of the senseless is that Elaine, who had already lost three children many years ago, was by the grace of God spared the pain of experiencing the loss of a fourth child.” The message continues, “What the family is going through right now is truly unimaginably painful. Grieving two family members who died within a 24-hour period is tragic and devastating. We continue to ask for privacy…”
Rest in peace Michaela and Elaine. Please share your thoughts with us and then share this story so we can all send a lot of love to the family and friends of this mother-daughter duo.
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