A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
This woman only ate one piece of bread a day for 5 years – but look at her now
Despite efforts to accept ourselves at any size and more realistic-looking models in advertisements, a large number of people worldwide suffer from eating disorders on a daily basis.
A Derbyshire lady who overcame anorexia has shared her experience in the hopes that it would support others experiencing similar difficulties.
Annie Windley weighed just 29 kg, or slightly more than four and a half stone, at her heaviest. She was in danger of having a heart attack because of her low weight.
The 21-year-old Woolley Moor resident has been battling anorexia for more than five years, during which time she has required extensive care, medical therapy, and multiple hospital stays. Annie, on the other hand, is in great shape and has recovered thanks to her passion of jogging. In October of last year, I ran the Chesterfield Half Marathon.
She said, “I had the happy awareness that the process of rehabilitation is amazing and should be exhilarating, remarkable, and amazing.
I suppose my anorexia will always be a part of me, even though I’ve learned to manage it and get over my obsession with eating. “It is never too late to make a positive change.”
Annie was first diagnosed with an eating disorder in 2012. When her recuperation finally began two years later, she faced numerous challenges, including being sectioned and experiencing uncontrollably rapid weight loss.
In October of 2017, I began battling more fiercely than I had ever done before; she went on, “I can’t say exactly what occurred, but this time, it was just for myself.”
The battle was amazing; every day was filled with agonizing emotions and remarkable bravery. I’m at my heaviest since 2014 after gaining three stone in the last four months.
Annie claims that she gained the realization that a person’s actions, their mannerisms toward others, and their degree of kindness matter more than their physical stature. According to her, these are the things that truly matter in life.
“These are the things that are essential to you and will bring you happiness.” Rather than organizing your entire day around eating or worrying about how to restrict, use that time to focus on something that matters to people.
Be a kind friend and daughter, make jokes, and engage in conversation with them. Exercise is typically believed to enhance mental health, and Annie is no different. Her passion for running gave her something to strive for, helped her heal, and kept her on course.
Her recuperation was aided by her participation in Chesterfield’s yearly half marathon. She ran the kilometers during her training, putting in a great deal of work and determination to complete the difficult course.
I use my morning run as an opportunity to remind myself of how fleeting and important life is. I can live a more flexible, free life now that I’m well.
I’m fortunate to have strong legs and a pounding heart, so I don’t waste time worrying about meals or watching calories. Exercise is a celebration of what your body is capable of, not a way to make up for what you ate.
“Pay attention to your desire to succeed and your excitement for where you want to go.” Annie claimed that all she had ever done was avoid meals like pizza and chocolate because the voices in her head turned them into numbers and percentage signs.
She has thankfully altered her viewpoint and offers guidance to those who have similar views.
There are bad days when you think recovery isn’t for you, feel “fat,” and lack the desire to eat. However, that is the very reason we have to continue.
We have to demonstrate to our disorders our ability to do so. We don’t want to spent our entire lives regretting and feeling sad about the things our anorexia prevented us from accomplishing.
Watch the video below to see her entire story:
Please share your thoughts in the comments below on her amazing adventure!
Leave a Reply