Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
Husband Went to Friend’s Wedding for 3 Days, Leaving Me and Kids $20 — He Fell to His Knees after What He Saw upon Returning
Iris’s husband left her and the kids with a meager $20 for three days while he attended a wedding alone. Frustrated and desperate, she made a bold move to teach him a lesson. When he returned, the sight before him made him fall to his knees and burst into tears.
Hey there! Iris here. My life isn’t all sunshine and roses, even though it might seem that way from the outside. I’m a stay-at-home mom, juggling an eight-year-old firecracker named Ollie and a sassy six-year-old princess, Sophie…
My husband, Paul, works a stable job and brings home the bacon, or rather the chicken these days. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fantastic dad, showers the kids with gifts, and makes sure we have everything we need.
But here’s the thing, after our second child, things shifted. Paul started focusing more on work and less on us. Gone were the days of spontaneous movie nights or romantic dinners. Now, whenever I’d suggest something, it’d always be “work stress” or needing “me time.” I brushed it off initially, but lately, it’s been gnawing at me.
A man heading to office | Source: Pexels
Last week, something happened that threw a wrench into our already strained relationship. Paul came home early, beaming, announcing a half-day off for his friend Alex’s wedding. He said he would be gone for three days.
A spark of excitement ignited in me! Maybe this could be our little escape, a few days away from the constant demands of motherhood and household. But my balloon of hope quickly popped when I found out ONLY HE was invited.
Iris is so thrilled, only to be shattered moments later | Source: Midjourney
“Why not me?” I pouted, disappointment clouding my voice.
Paul explained that Alex was a “bit strange” and wanted a close-knit gathering without partners. Now, that struck me as odd.
“Are there any single women attending?” I probed, biting my nails, a nervous habit I just can’t seem to kick.
An annoyed man | Source: Pexels
Paul furrowed his brows, his mood shifting from casual to irritated. “Iris, come on,” he mumbled, and sensing his annoyance, I backtracked with a playful, “Just kidding! Stay away from those single ladies, alright?!”
Big mistake. He took it as a full-blown accusation, and before you know it, we were embroiled in a massive fight. Paul accused me of being suspicious, of dictating his every move. He even started lecturing me on the “secrets to a strong relationship,” making me feel like a paranoid control freak.
A furious man | Source: Pexels
But hey, I wasn’t completely wrong, was I? I snapped, reminding him how he constantly prioritized his “me time” with friends, leaving me home alone with the kids.
“I want to enjoy life too, Paul!” I yelled, tears welling up in my eyes. “What’s the point of all this money if you’re never here?”
That’s when things got scary. Paul was practically glaring daggers at me. Then, in a move that left me speechless, he pulled out a measly $20 bill.
Man holding $20 | Source: Freepik
“Here,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “if you don’t need my money, run the house on this for three days while I’m gone!”
He shoved the cash into my hand and stormed out of the house before I could utter another word. My jaw hung slack, anger and disbelief swirling inside me. Did he seriously think I could run a household with three hungry members on a meager $20? The audacity!
Iris is visibly shaken | Source: Midjourney
Tears threatening to spill, I raced to the fridge, clinging to a sliver of hope. Maybe, just maybe, there was enough food to last for three days.
But as I swung open the door, my heart sank. The fridge was practically bare, containing only a row of Ollie’s brightly colored juice boxes, a lone pickle, and less than a dozen eggs. This wasn’t going to work. We needed groceries, and with only $20, I felt completely stranded.
A nearly empty refrigerator | Source: Pexels
Anger simmered within me. Paul knew our financial situation; I didn’t have any hidden stash of cash. He was deliberately trying to make a point, and guess what? It backfired. Now, I was determined to get revenge, to make him understand the struggle I faced every single day. But how?
My gaze darted around the room, landing on the glass cabinet where Paul kept his prized collection of antique coins. They were like trophies to him, each one with a story, some dating back to his great-grandfather’s era.
An assortment of antique coins on display | Source: Midjourney
An evil glint flickered in my eyes. Maybe these could be the key to getting some groceries and teaching my husband a little lesson.
My heart raced as I reached for the glass cabinet. Guilt gnawed at the edges of my determination, but the image of the empty fridge and Paul’s flippant challenge fueled me.
With trembling hands, I gathered the coins, their smooth surfaces cold against my skin. Each clink against the glass echoed in the room, a tiny betrayal chipping away at my conscience.
Iris gathers the antique coins | Source: Midjourney
Ignoring the rising tide of guilt, I raced to the local antique shop, a place I’d only ever admired from afar. The owner, a wiry man with a silver goatee, squinted at the coins through a magnifying glass.
My breath hitched in my throat. Would these even sell? But then, his voice, gruff but surprisingly cheerful, broke the tense silence. “Seven hundred dollars,” he announced, his eyes twinkling.
An antique store owner inspecting the coins | Source: Midjourney
Relief washed over me so intense it felt like I could breathe again. “Sold!” I blurted, practically shoving the coins into his surprised hands.
The guilt, however, resurfaced with a vengeance as I clutched the wad of cash. This wasn’t just revenge anymore; it was a betrayal of Paul’s trust. But the thought of my children’s hungry faces spurred me on.
Woman counting cash | Source: Pexels
With a spring in my step, I stormed to the grocery store, filling my cart with mountains of fresh produce, enough meat to last a week, and a mountain of treats for the kids.
A part of me reveled in the freedom of not having to check the price tags, but a larger part ached for the trust I’d shattered.
As I unpacked the groceries back home, humming along to a classic playing on the gramophone, a dark shadow of apprehension loomed over me. How would Paul react when he saw his beloved coins missing?
Woman grocery shopping | Source: Unsplash
I pushed the thought aside, focusing on the delicious aroma of the chicken casserole wafting from the oven. Tonight, dinner would be a feast fit for a king, or rather, a queen!
Three days crawled by, each minute stretching into an eternity. The silence in the house was deafening without Paul’s usual grumbles or the constant barrage of questions from the kids. Just as despair started to creep in, the sound of a car pulling into the driveway jolted me back to life.
A car outside the house | Source: Unsplash
I raced to the window, peeking through the blinds. There stood Paul, a sight that sent chills down my spine.
A wide, almost manic grin stretched across his face, completely out of character. In his arms, he cradled two grocery bags, overflowing with fresh produce and what looked like enough fruit to feed a small army.
Man holding a grocery bag | Source: Freepik
This wasn’t the sight I’d braced myself for. This was… uncanny. My heart pounded as Paul practically skipped towards the front door, whistling a cheerful tune.
The door flung open and he barreled in. “Iris, my love!” he boomed, his voice uncharacteristically loud. “You won’t believe the deals I found! Fresh strawberries for half the price, and look at these juicy mangoes!” He thrust the bags at me, his eyes sparkling with a manic glint.
A cheerful man smiling | Source: Pexels
I stood frozen, the groceries a heavy weight in my suddenly numb arms. “Paul…” I stammered.
He didn’t seem to hear me. He launched into a torrent of apologies, each one delivered with an unsettling enthusiasm. He confessed his wrongs, admitted the stinginess, and swore he wouldn’t leave me stranded again.
A startled, teary-eyed woman | Source: Pexels
Then, his eyes darted towards the trophy case. His smile faltered, replaced by a dawning horror. He took a hesitant step towards the glass cabinet, then another, his movements slow and deliberate.
My breath hitched in my throat. In the heart-stopping silence, the click of his shoes against the hardwood floor echoed like a death knell. He reached out, his hand hovering over the empty space where his prized coin collection once resided.
An extremely heartbroken man | Source: Pexels
The world seemed to slow down. Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision. Shame, guilt, and a crushing fear coiled in my gut. Paul’s joy had evaporated, replaced by a chilling stillness.
He didn’t yell. He didn’t scream. He simply crumpled to his knees and burst into tears, saying, “MY COINS??!”
An extremely upset man bursting into tears | Source: Pexels
The sound shattered the suffocating silence, and a torrent of apologies spilled from my lips, each one a desperate attempt to mend the damage I’d done. But Paul remained silent, his face crumpled with a profound hurt that pierced my soul.
Without another word, he rose to his feet, a haunted look in his eyes as he walked past me. Just as he reached the door, he turned back one last time, his gaze locking onto mine. It was a look of utter betrayal, a silent scream that spoke volumes.
A sad man’s eyes filled with heartbreak and disbelief | Source: Unsplash
Then, with a quiet click of the doorknob, he was gone.
Tears streamed down my face, each one a bitter drop of regret. I had a mess to fix, and it was entirely of my own making.
I raced to the nearest pawnshop. There, under the harsh fluorescent lights, I surrendered my late grandmother’s ring, a precious heirloom gifted on my wedding day. The money it fetched was enough to cover all the coins.
Woman holding a diamond ring | Source: Pexels
I sprinted back to the antique shop, the money clutched tightly in my sweaty palms. The bell above the shop door chimed as I burst in. The owner, thankfully, recognized me.
“Can I help you again?” he inquired, his bushy eyebrows raised in surprise.
My face turned crimson as I spoke. “Actually, I’d like to buy the coins back.”
The antique shop owner recognizes Iris | Source: Midjourney
He squinted at me, a shrewd glint in his eyes. “Buy them back? You just sold them to me three days ago.”
“Yes, I know,” I confessed, my voice thick with shame. “It’s a long story, but it was a foolish mistake,” My voice cracked. “I just… I need them back. Please.”
A desperate and teary-eyed woman | Source: Unsplash
The gruff man softened slightly. He studied me for a long moment, then sighed. “Alright, tell you what,” he said, “Since you’re the original seller, I’ll give you a discount. But it won’t be the same price you sold them for.”
Relief washed over me like a tidal wave. “I understand,” I rasped, tears welling up again. “Anything you ask, I’ll pay it.”
Iris pleads with the antique store owner | Source: Midjourney
The transaction was swift, and moments later, I was clutching the familiar weight of the coins in my bag. My pulse quickened. Would it be enough to mend the broken trust?
The walk home was a blur. Every passing second felt like an eternity. As I reached into the driveway, my stomach churned with nervous butterflies. The house was eerily silent.
Paul wasn’t home yet.
Iris manages to get Paul’s antique coins back | Source: Midjourney
I walked towards the glass cabinet and carefully arranged the coins back in their rightful places.
When I finished, a small smile bloomed on my face. “I did it!” I exclaimed. When Paul returned home, I turned to him, my heart pounding in my chest.
“There,” I whispered, pointing at the trophy case. “They’re back!”
Silence stretched, thick and heavy. Then, a single tear rolled down Paul’s cheek.
Iris retrieves Paul’s beloved antique coin collection | Source: Midjourney
“Iris,” he finally spoke, his voice hoarse. “We need to talk.”
The knot in my stomach tightened. “Yes,” I choked out, tears welling up in my eyes again. “We do.”
We talked for hours that night. We spoke of our frustrations, our unspoken needs, and the chasm that had grown between us over time. The conversation was raw, painful, and ultimately, necessary.
Iris is relieved | Source: Midjourney
There were no easy answers. Trust, once broken, takes time and effort to rebuild. But as we sat there, holding onto each other, a fragile peace settled between us.
The ordeal with the coins had been a catalyst, a wake-up call that forced us to confront the cracks in our relationship. We learned a harsh lesson — communication, not revenge, is the key to a strong marriage.
Couple holding hands | Source: Pexels
That day, I realized that misunderstandings and arguments are inevitable, but it’s crucial to resolve them rather than escalate. Every family faces challenges that test their strength and make them stronger.
I also learned the importance of trust in a relationship and vowed never to doubt my husband’s loyalty, even in jest. They say “a happy wife is a happy life,” but both partners deserve happiness. In a healthy relationship, happiness should be a shared journey, not a prize for one.
A happy woman smiling | Source: Pexels
In the days that followed, we started rebuilding, brick by brick. It was slow, messy work, but we were committed to making it work. We realized that a happy marriage wasn’t a destination, but a journey — a journey we were determined to navigate together, hand in hand.
A peaceful couple | Source: Unsplash
Here’s another story: When Josephine found an ordinary bottle of men’s hair lotion in her bathroom, little did she know it would reveal a shocking truth about her bald husband and shatter their 20-year marriage.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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