Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
My Stepmom Returned My Prom Dress to the Store Just a Day Before the Dance — the Reason Left Me Speechless
The night before prom, Gia is ready to lay out her clothes and have an easy night. But as she opens her closet to take out her dress, she finds it missing. Later, she discovers that her stepmother, Cindy, had returned the dress to the store… What on earth could be the reason?
My mom died when I was ten.
It was sudden, like the world had just stopped spinning. One minute, she was tucking me into bed, and the next, she was gone.
Flowers on a headstone | Source: Midjourney
“I’ll always be with you, Gia,” she said one day as she tucked me in, her hands shaking wildly. “Whether I’m right next to you or not, I’ll always be here. Do you understand?”
I remember nodding sleepily as she kissed my cheek.
Losing her crushed my dad and me in ways I still can’t put into words. We were just completely… lost.
A woman tucking her daughter into bed | Source: Midjourney
Then, a few years later, Dad married someone new. Cindy. Now, Cindy wasn’t evil or cruel or anything like that. If I’m being honest, she tried. She smiled a lot, bought me gifts, and cooked things that I enjoyed eating. She even waited for me to come home from school, ready to make me a toasted sandwich while asking me about my day.
But no matter what Cindy did, she wasn’t my mom. My heart just didn’t seem to let her in. And because of that, we never really clicked on a personal level.
A smiling couple | Source: Midjourney
Fast forward to senior year:
I’m 17 and waiting for prom. And for the first time in forever, I felt excited about something. Dad gave me a budget for a dress, and I spent weeks scouring the internet for ideas.
When I finally found it, a gorgeous deep-blue gown that made me feel like an actual princess, I knew that it was the one.
A smiling teenage girl | Source: Midjourney
“That’s it, Gia!” my friend Selene said as I stepped out of the dressing room.
“You think?” I asked. “You really think so?”
“Yes! Your eyes pop with the blue, and your skin looks so good with it. This is it, Gia. Don’t even waste your time looking for another dress.”
I smiled.
“Fine, let’s focus on you now,” I said.
A teenage girl in a dressing room | Source: Midjourney
Standing in front of the mirror at the boutique, I felt like I could see the old me again, the one from before my life flipped upside down. There was a light in my eyes again.
Everything seemed perfect. For once, it felt like the universe was giving me a break. But that all shattered the day before prom.
I got home from school, ready to get into a bubble bath, shave, wash my hair, and have an early night. I was going to lay everything out before I went to bed — my dress, shoes, makeup options, all of it.
A teenage girl’s vanity | Source: Midjourney
I ran up the stairs and flung my closet door open, hoping to give my dress a look-over before I got into the bath.
But it wasn’t there.
All I saw was the empty hanger.
I blinked hard, as if somehow my dream dress would magically appear before my eyes. Of course, it didn’t.
Where on earth is my dress?
An empty hanger | Source: Midjourney
I yanked things off hangers and tore through drawers. Maybe I’d been careless and shoved it somewhere, right?
But deep down, I knew I hadn’t. I was so paranoid about wrinkling the dress that I had taken clothes off the hanger the day I brought it home. That dress had been the centerpiece of my week. I would never have misplaced it.
I ran downstairs, hoping to see my dad. He would have answers.
A close up of a teenage girl | Source: Midjourney
Instead, Cindy was sitting at the kitchen island, cutting into veggies and sipping her tea like nothing was wrong.
“Gigi,” she said, using a name that only my dad called me. “Dad is away for the night because of work. He said that he’ll try to be back in time to see you off tomorrow.”
How could she talk like nothing happened? Like nothing was wrong?
A woman busy in a kitchen | Source: Midjourney
“Cindy!” I exclaimed. “Have you seen my prom dress? It’s gone!”
She looked up, completely calm, like I hadn’t just dropped a bomb in the middle of the kitchen. I was starting to feel panicked. I could taste bitterness on my tongue. I was on the verge of a breakdown.
“Oh, that? Gia, I returned that to the store.”
“You did what?” I gasped.
A shocked teenage girl | Source: Midjourney
It felt like my brain had short-circuited.
“I returned it,” she repeated as if she was telling me she’d picked up groceries at the store. “It just didn’t seem right, Gigi. It was too grown-up for you.”
I stood there, unable to move.
“How could you do that? Prom is tomorrow evening! Why would you touch my stuff without asking me?”
A close up of a woman | Source: Midjourney
Cindy tilted her head like I was overreacting.
“You’ll understand tomorrow,” she said quietly, sipping her tea.
Her nonchalance lit something inside me. I couldn’t believe she was acting so casual, like she hadn’t just taken the one thing I’d been looking forward to for months and thrown it in the trash.
I stormed up to my room, slamming the door so hard the walls shook. I buried my face in my pillow, tears soaking into the fabric.
An upset girl | Source: Midjourney
How could she do this to me?
That night, I cried myself to sleep, my anger burning hot and bitter. I felt betrayed. She had no right to mess with my dress. She had no right to interfere with my prom.
But what did I expect?
Cindy wasn’t my mother.
An upset girl in her bed | Source: Midjourney
The next morning, I woke up to the heavy weight of disappointment. I didn’t even want to go to prom anymore.
What was the point?
But Selene wasn’t having it.
“You need to find out why she did it,” she said over the phone. “It’s weird, right? Like, she has to have a reason. Just… talk to her, Gia.”
A girl talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I rolled my eyes.
“There’s no reason good enough for what she did.”
“Maybe,” Selene said. “But don’t you want to know?”
Selene had a point, and she knew it. So, against my better judgment, I dragged myself out of bed and went downstairs.
A girl talking on a phone | Source: Midjourney
Cindy was waiting for me, dressed in jeans and an old sweatshirt, looking more nervous than I’d ever seen her.
“Come with me, Gigi,” she said quietly.
I stared at her for a long second. A part of me wanted to blow her off entirely. But there was something in her voice, something soft.
A close up of a woman | Source: Midjourney
Without a word, I followed her to her bedroom.
There was a box on her bed, wrapped in a bow.
“This belonged to your mom,” Cindy whispered, her voice catching. “I found it while cleaning a few weeks ago. I’ve been wanting to turn the attic into something new, like a little reading room.”
I froze.
A box on a bed | Source: Midjourney
My heart hammered in my chest as she peeled away the tissue paper, revealing an elegant, vintage white dress. It was stunning — lace sleeves, delicate beadwork, the kind of timeless beauty that would never go out of style.
Cindy glanced up at me, her hands trembling slightly.
“I thought maybe you’d like to wear it. To prom. When I returned the blue dress, I took this one to be dry-cleaned.”
A dress in a box | Source: Midjourney
For a moment, I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t even think.
All the anger, all the resentment, all the hurt I’d held onto melted into shock.
“I wasn’t trying to hurt you, my darling,” Cindy whispered. “I just thought that this way, your mom could be with you. I will never replace her, Gia. But I wanted to give you something that mattered.”
A smiling woman | Source: Midjourney
Tears welled up in my eyes before I could stop them. All this time, I’d been so sure she was trying to ruin my prom. But instead, she was giving me the most meaningful gift she ever could.
That night, I wore my mom’s dress to prom.
As soon as I slipped it on, I felt her with me, like she was wrapping me in a hug. The dress fit perfectly. Cindy helped me with my hair, and for the first time, I saw her not as someone trying to replace my mom, but as someone who cared. For me. Deeply.
A crying teenage girl | Source: Midjourney
When I walked downstairs, my dad was waiting. His eyes widened, and his breath caught.
“Thank goodness I made it,” he said, tears brimming in his eyes. “You look just like Mom!”
A close up of a man | Source: Midjourney
The prom was magical. And as I danced with my friends, I saw once again that Cindy hadn’t stolen anything from me. She’d given me something priceless.
A way to feel connected with my mom again. And I felt so beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
A teenage girl in her prom dress | Source: Midjourney
When I got home, Cindy was sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket.
“You’re waiting up for me?” I asked, kicking off my shoes.
“Of course, my darling,” she said. “I wanted to know how your night went. And I’ve got ice cream in the freezer. Mint choc-chip. Your favorite. We can eat it while you tell me.”
That’s when I broke down. In that moment, I knew Cindy wasn’t just my dad’s wife. She was someone who loved me, too.
And maybe, just maybe, that was going to be enough.
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