Laughter truly is the best medicine, and who doesn’t love a good joke to brighten their day? From kids and animals to life’s quirky moments, these 12 jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone.
Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or a laugh-out-loud moment, we’ve got you covered. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a collection of humor that’s as diverse as it is hilarious.
Friends laughing at something on a cell phone | Source: Pexels
The Parrot and the Burglar
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house. As he tiptoed through the living room, a booming voice stopped him in his tracks: “Jesus is watching you!”
Terrified, he froze, but when silence returned, he crept forward again.
The voice echoed once more, “Jesus is watching you!”
Panicking, the burglar scanned the room and spotted a parrot in a cage.
“Was that you?” he asked.
A burglar holding his hands against his head | Source: Pexels
“Yes,” the parrot replied.
Relieved, the burglar asked, “What’s your name?”
“Moses,” said the bird.
“Moses? That’s a dumb name for a parrot. What idiot named you that?”
A parrot in a birdcage | Source: Pexels
The parrot squawked, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”
Moses’ quick wit is just the start of this laughter-filled journey. As we turn the page to the next joke, prepare for a story that combines a bit of mystery with a generous dose of hilarity. Hold onto your sides as we dive into this playful tale by the cemetery.
The Nutty Cemetery Mix-Up
Two boys were sitting behind a nut tree near a cemetery fence, dividing a bucket of nuts. The bucket was so full that some nuts fell out and rolled away, ending up near the fence. The boys ignored them for now and continued dividing the nuts in the bucket.
Nuts lying on grass | Source: Pexels
“One for you, one for me,” they chanted.
A third boy cycling by heard the voices and thought, “It’s Satan and St. Peter dividing souls!” Terrified, he rushed to an old man further down the road. After much persuasion, the old man hobbled over with him to see what the boy was talking about.
Peering through the fence, they heard, “One for you, one for me…”
Trembling, the old man whispered, “This is real!”
A shocked elderly man peering through a fence | Source: Midjourney
But just as they braced themselves, the boys finished dividing the nuts and said, “Now let’s fetch the ones by the fence.”
The old man reportedly made it back to town five minutes before the boy.
Those mischievous boys by the cemetery certainly knew how to spark some laughs. But now, let’s shift gears to a family situation with a humorous twist. This next joke shows just how creative (or not) some relatives can be when left in charge.
The Twin Naming Fiasco
A man attending a conference overseas got the news that his wife had given birth to twins. Excited, he called her and asked, “Who took you to the hospital?”
A happy man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels
“Your brother, Joe,” she replied. “And since I was under anesthesia, he also named the babies.”
Horrified, the husband exclaimed, “Joe’s a moron! What did he name them?”
“Well, we have a girl and a boy. He named the girl Deniece.”
“That’s not so bad. What about the boy?”
A thoughtful man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels
“Joe called him De-nephew.”
Joe’s naming antics were nothing short of entertaining, weren’t they? But hold on, because this next tale introduces a farmer who takes communication to a whole new level. Get ready to laugh as a lawyer struggles to decode a farmer’s quirky requests.
The Farmer’s Divorce Dilemma
A farmer walked into a lawyer’s office and said, “I want a day-vorce.”
A farmer standing in a lawyer’s office | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer asked, “What grounds do you have?”
“About 140 acres,” the farmer replied.
Exasperated, the lawyer asked, “Do you have a grudge?”
“Sure do—that’s where I park my tractor.”
Finally, the lawyer shouted, “Why do you want a divorce?”
A lawyer leaning on his desk, looking frustrated | Source: Pexels
The farmer sighed, “I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.”
The farmer’s take on communication left us in stitches, but the humor doesn’t stop there. This time, we’re jumping into the world of a frog with an unusual destiny. Get ready for a ribbit-ing prediction that’s bound to crack you up.
The Frog’s Unfortunate Prediction
A frog called a psychic hotline.
A frog on a table | Source: Pexels
He was thrilled when the psychic told him, “In the next month, you’ll meet a beautiful young woman. She’s going to be fascinated by you and want to know everything about you.”
“Where will I meet her?” the frog asked eagerly. “Will we be at a party? Or, maybe she’ll be strolling past my home?”
The psychic replied, “None of those. You’ll meet her in her biology class next semester.”
A woman speaking into a headset microphone | Source: Pexels
Just when you thought things couldn’t get more unexpected, we’ve got a wartime confession that’s equal parts surprising and amusing. This joke reveals how even serious situations can take a turn for the hilariously awkward. Let’s dive in.
The Never-Ending War
A man in Amsterdam confessed to his priest, “During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic.”
“That’s not a sin,” the priest reassured him. “You helped someone in need.”
A priest listening to a confession | Source: Pexels
“But I charged him 20 Gulden a week,” the man added.
“That wasn’t good, but you still saved his life,” said the priest.
The man lets out a deep sigh. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that. But tell me, Father, do I have to tell him the war’s over?” asked the man.
A man confessing his sins to a priest | Source: Pexels
That moral dilemma from WWII had quite the twist, didn’t it? Now, let’s step into the workplace for a story of pure comedic misfortune. Brace yourself for a laugh-out-loud moment that could only happen to someone truly unlucky.
The Iron Phone Incident
Mark showed up to work with two red, sore ears.
His coworker asked, “What happened?”
A man working on a construction site glancing to one side | Source: Pexels
Mark explained, “I was ironing while watching TV. When the phone rang, I picked up the iron instead.”
“And the other ear?”
“The guy called back.”
Mark’s phonecall mishap had us in tears, but this next one takes us to a fast-food joint where sharing gets a hilarious spin. Get ready for a tale of an elderly couple who redefine the concept of “togetherness” in the quirkiest way possible.
Sharing is Caring
An elderly couple walked into a fast-food restaurant and ordered one burger and a small order of fries. As they sat down, they carefully split everything: the burger, the fries, even the drink.
A burger and fries on a table | Source: Pexels
A trucker watching nearby felt sorry for them and offered to buy the wife her own meal.
The husband politely declined, saying, “Oh, no, thank you. We share everything.”
A few minutes later, the trucker noticed that while the husband was eating, the wife hadn’t touched a bite.
Concerned, he asked, “Why aren’t you eating?”
A trucker seated in a fast-food restaurant | Source: Midjourney
The wife replied sharply, “Because I’m waiting for the teeth!”
From fast-food hilarity to a nocturnal adventure, this next joke is a real screamer—or should we say squeaker? Join us as we enter the world of bats with a twist that’s both dark and uproarious.
The Blind Bat
A vampire bat returned to his cave covered in blood, only to be hounded by others asking where he got the blood.
Bats hanging in a cave | Source: Pexels
Finally, he led them through a forest and pointed to a tree.
“Do you see that tree?” he asked.
“YES!” they screamed.
“Good,” he said, “because I didn’t!”
That bat’s nocturnal adventure was one for the books, but now it’s time for a lighter laugh. This next joke involves flowers, sympathy, and a classic case of mixed messages that’ll leave you grinning.
The Florist’s Card Mix-Up
A store owner was thrilled to receive a bouquet of flowers on the opening day of his new business.
A bouquet with a card | Source: Pexels
However, his excitement turned to confusion when he read the card attached: “Deepest Sympathy.”
Puzzled, the man called the florist to report the mistake. The florist apologized profusely and said, “I’m so sorry about that! Your card must have been sent to the funeral home instead.”
The store owner asked, “What did that card say?”
A man holding a note while making a phone call | Source: Pexels
The florist replied, “‘Congratulations on your new location.'”
Florists may have their missteps, but wait until you hear about this lawyer with a name that’s as clever as his joke. This next tale is all about wordplay and a fitting tribute with a punchline to match.
The Honest Lawyer
A lawyer named Strange ordered a tombstone inscribed, “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer.”
The stonecutter refused, saying, “It’s illegal to bury two people in one grave. But I can write, ‘Here lies an honest lawyer.'”
A man ordering a tombstone | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer protested, “How will people know it’s me?”
The stonecutter replied, “Easy. They’ll read it and say, ‘That’s Strange!'”
We’ve had clever wordplay and hilarious mix-ups, but now it’s time to finish strong with a tale of extreme conditions and an unexpected celebration. Buckle up for this finale that’s sure to leave you laughing out loud.
The Farmer in Hell
A farmer from Texas found himself in hell after he passed away. The Devil was surprised to find the farmer unfazed and smiling in the heat.
A farmer relaxing in Hell | Source: Midjourney
“Why are you so happy?” asked the Devil.
The farmer replied, “This feels just like a hot June day back home when I’m plowing my fields.”
Annoyed, the Devil increased the heat to 105 degrees with stifling humidity. Yet the farmer continued to smile no matter how high the Devil cranked up the heat.
Finally, the Devil decided to freeze hell over, setting the temperature to a bone-chilling -10 degrees.
Frozen lava | Source: Midjourney
To the Devil’s surprise, the farmer began running around and shouting with joy.
“What are you so happy about now?” the Devil demanded.
The farmer shouted, “The Cowboys must’ve won the Super Bowl!”
Whether it’s a parrot outsmarting a burglar or a farmer making the Devil sweat, these stories are sure to brighten your day.
Two women laughing together | Source: Pexels
So, share them with friends, family, or coworkers, and keep the laughter going. After all, life’s too short not to laugh out loud!
Keep the laughs coming with these jokes about bars, jobs, and quirky animals.
I Got a Call from an Unknown Number and Overheard My Husband Say, ‘My Wife’s Cooking and Cleaning Toilets While I’m Here with You, My Love’
When my husband told me he had a work party to go to, I never suspected anything untoward until I received a call that made me stop in my tracks! What I heard on the other line had me grabbing my car keys to confront him and packing his things the next day!
You’d think after ten years of marriage, I’d know my husband, Brian, inside out. But last week, I learned that even a decade together can’t shield you from betrayal—or the satisfaction of watching karma deliver a perfect punch!
A serious-looking woman | Source: Midjourney
It started innocently enough. On a Thursday evening, Brian walked through the door humming a tune, a rare spring in his step. “Big news!” he announced. “The company’s throwing a work party tomorrow night, a team bonding thing. Strictly employees.”
He kissed my forehead and dropped his briefcase on the floor.
“It’s going to be boring, so don’t worry about coming. Just numbers talk and small talk.”
I raised an eyebrow.
A suspicious woman | Source: Midjourney
Brian wasn’t exactly the party type. His idea of fun was watching golf on TV, but I shrugged it off.
“Fine by me,” I said, my mind already spinning through tomorrow’s tasks.
The next morning, Brian was sweeter than usual. Too sweet, if I’m honest. While I cooked breakfast, he came up behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist, and murmured, “You know you’re amazing, right?”
“What’s all this?” I asked with a laugh. “Trying to earn brownie points?”
“Maybe.” He handed me his favorite white shirt, the one with the annoying button that always came loose.
A happy man holding a shirt | Source: Midjourney
“Can you iron this for me? And, oh, while I’m gone, could you make lasagna? The one with the extra cheese? You know how much I love it.”
“Anything else, Your Highness?” I teased.
“Actually, yes.” He winked while looking smug. “Could you clean and tidy up the bathrooms? You know I like the place spotless. And it wouldn’t hurt to get them spick and span just in case… guests, you know?”
I rolled my eyes but laughed along. My husband had his quirks, and for all his little diva requests, I thought he was harmless. If only I’d known…
A woman laughing | Source: Midjourney
That day, I threw myself into my chores. The vacuum buzzed, the washing machine churned, and the smell of baking lasagna filled the house. My cleaning playlist kept me company, and for a while, life felt… normal.
I was so deep into my work that I didn’t even notice the day had gone by until my phone rang.
The number was unfamiliar, and for a split second, I toyed with ignoring it, not wanting to be disturbed. But I picked it up anyway. “Hello?”
At first, all I could hear was music, noise, and muffled laughter. I frowned, thinking it might be a prank. But then I heard Brian’s voice. Clear as day…
A woman frowning while on the phone | Source: Midjourney
“My wife?” he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “She’s probably cooking and scrubbing toilets or something. She’s so predictable! Meanwhile, I’m here with you, my love.”
I then heard a woman giggling, and my stomach sank.
I froze, the phone pressed to my ear as my world tilted on its axis. Then, the line went dead. A second later, a text came through with a single address. No words, just a location. The address wasn’t familiar, but something deep inside me knew. This wasn’t a work party. This wasn’t harmless.
An upset woman staring at her phone | Source: Midjourney
My pulse pounded as I stared at the screen. I had a moment of questioning things like was this real? Could Brian, my Brian, really be this cruel?
I didn’t cry. Not yet. Instead, I threw on a coat, furiously grabbed my keys, and drove straight to the address without thinking twice. The lasagna, which I switched off, could wait. If Brian thought I’d stay home like a clueless fool, he had another thing coming!
I knew that this could all be a prank or something else innocent, but I couldn’t risk not knowing if my husband was really cheating on me. So I had to go see for myself. The GPS led me to a sleek Airbnb on the other side of town.
An angry woman driving | Source: Midjourney
The place screamed “luxury,” with its grand entrance, sparkling windows, and pristine landscaping. A collection of fancy cars was parked in the driveway, and inside, I could see a crowd of people laughing and drinking.
My stomach churned as I scanned the faces. Either Brian was about to get the surprise of his life, or maybe I was. We’d see in a minute. As I walked to the door, a doorman blocked my path, asking, “Can I help you, ma’am?”
A suspicious doorman | Source: Midjourney
Fake smiling, I replied, “Hi, yes, I just came to drop something off for my husband quickly,” I said, gesturing to the toilet brush and cleaner in the bucket I held. Confused, the doorman stared at me and then my bucket.
“Look, he’s the tall guy in the white T-shirt,” I explained.
The doorman didn’t seem convinced but figured I wasn’t harmful, so he stepped aside to let me in. Everyone turned around and stared at me, looking all disheveled from cleaning and cooking, with a bucket in hand.
And then I saw him…
A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney
My husband stood in the middle of the room, his arm casually draped around a young woman in a tight red dress. He looked more alive than I’d seen him in years, laughing and sipping champagne like he didn’t have a care in the world!
Every part of me wanted to rush over to him and let loose, but another part whispered, “Be smart. Don’t just react. Make it count.” Brian spotted me almost instantly. His face drained of color, and he took a step back, nearly spilling his drink!
A shocked man embracing a woman | Source: Midjourney
“Emily?” he stammered, pulling away from the woman at his side. “What… what are you doing here?”
“Hi, sweetheart,” I said, my voice loud enough for the room to hear. “You left something at home.”
Brian blinked, confused. I reached into the bucket and pulled out rubber gloves, a toilet brush, and a bottle of toilet cleaner I’d brought with me.
“Since you like talking about my cleaning skills, I figured you might need these to clean up this mess you’ve made of our marriage.”
Gasps rippled through the crowd. The woman in red took a step away from Brian, looking mortified. But I wasn’t done.
A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney
“You know,” I said, turning to the room, “Brian loves to play the doting husband at home. But as you can see, he’s more interested in playing house with whoever strokes his ego.”
“Emily,” Brian said, his voice low and desperate. “Can we go outside and talk?”
“Oh no,” I said sharply. “You didn’t care about privacy when you were mocking me behind my back. Why start now?”
An angry woman | Source: Midjourney
I turned to the crowd, addressing them like an audience at a theater.
“Enjoy the party, everyone. Just remember: if he cheats with you, he’ll cheat on you!”
And with that, I dropped the bucket near his feet and walked out, my heels clicking against the marble floor. But as I reached my car, my phone buzzed again. The same unknown number.
A woman looking at her phone | Source: Midjourney
“You deserve to know the truth,” the message read. “I’m sorry it had to be this way.”
My hands trembled as I called the number. I realized I never bothered to find out who had given me the tip and why. Was it a woman Brian cheated with who now felt spiteful? Or perhaps someone who wanted him for themselves?
Heck! For all I knew, it could’ve been the woman Brian was with, trying to put a spanner in the works so she could get him for herself.
The phone didn’t ring long before a woman answered. “Hello?”
A woman on a call | Source: Midjourney
“Who is this?” I demanded.
“My name’s Valerie,” she said after a pause. “I… used to work with Brian.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because someone had to,” she said, her voice tinged with frustration. “I’ve been watching him lie and cheat for months. Bragging about you, laughing about how ‘easy’ it is to fool you. It made me sick.”
I swallowed hard. “How did you even get my number?”
A woman on a call | Source: Midjourney
“I left the company a month ago for greener pastures after working to secure the venue for the office party,” she admitted. “But before I quit, I saw what kind of man he is. I found your number in the emergency contact database. I know it was wrong, but you needed to know. My husband, Ted, was the same way. I left him two years ago and vowed never to stand by and see the same thing happen to another woman.”
Her words hit me like a freight train.
A shocked woman on a call | Source: Midjourney
“I got another female colleague to attend the party and shadow Brian, at the opportune moment, she called you and let you hear him berate you before giving me back my phone. I’ve been hiding outside the venue in my car, waiting for you to arrive and confront him once and for all. You deserved the truth, Emily.”
I should’ve been angry—should’ve felt violated—but all I felt was gratitude.
“Thank you,” I whispered before hanging up. I was ready to go home and lick my wounds and felt it pointless to meet Valerie. She’d played her part, and now it was time for me to play mine.
An angry woman in her car | Source: Midjourney
The next morning, I woke up with a clarity I hadn’t felt in years! Brian’s belongings were packed and waiting outside the door. When he came home last night, his key wouldn’t fit the lock because I put a keyhole cover we had in the house.
I don’t know and don’t care where he slept last night. His phone buzzed with a single text from me that morning: “Enjoy.”
A shocked man after looking at his phone | Source: Midjourney
And for the first time in a long time, I smiled. Not because of revenge, but because I finally took back control of my life. Divorce was the next thing on my to-do list that day, and I couldn’t wait to take him for all he’s worth!
A happy woman sitting at home | Source: Midjourney
If that story was up your alley, then you might like the next one about a wife who suspected her husband of cheating when he suddenly insisted on sleeping in the car. One night, she followed him and discovered something more disturbing than just cheating…
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
Leave a Reply