“Everything okay?” I asked as we sat down.
Fiona glanced up, startled. “Oh, yeah. Just checking something quick.”
I nodded, trying to hide my disappointment. This was supposed to be our special night, but she seemed a million miles away.
The waiter appeared with menus. “Can I interest you in our anniversary special? A bottle of champagne to start?”
“That sounds perfect,” I said, smiling at Fiona. “What do you think, honey?”
She was staring at her phone again. “Hm? Oh, sure. Whatever you want.”
I sighed and ordered the champagne. As the waiter walked away, I reached across the table and gently touched Fiona’s hand.
“Hey, can we maybe put the phones away? It’s our anniversary.”
Fiona looked guilty. “You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just this new video series I found —”
I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice. “Another prank channel?”
“They’re hilarious, Aidan! You should see some of these —”
I tuned out as she launched into a description of the latest viral prank. My mind wandered back to the past few weeks, and I felt my stomach tighten.
It had started innocently enough, Fiona showing me funny videos on her phone, and both of us laughing. But then she’d started trying to recreate them at home.
There was the time she jumped out from behind the shower curtain, nearly giving me a heart attack. The fake spider in Nora’s lunchbox that made our daughter cry. The “broken” glass prank that left Callum afraid to touch anything in the kitchen for days.
Each time, Fiona would laugh it off. “It’s just a joke!” she’d say. “Don’t be so serious!”
But I’d seen the fear in our kids’ eyes, felt the constant tension in my own shoulders. It wasn’t funny anymore. It was exhausting.
I snapped back to the present as the waiter returned with our champagne. Fiona was still talking, gesturing animatedly about some YouTuber’s latest stunt.
Fiona stood up abruptly. “I need to use the restroom. Be right back.”
I watched her walk away, a sense of unease growing in my stomach. Something felt off.
Suddenly, a commotion erupted behind me. I turned to see Fiona stumbling between tables, clutching her throat.
“I can’t breathe!” she gasped, falling to her knees. “Help me!”
The restaurant erupted in chaos. People rushed to her side, calling for help. I sat frozen, unable to process what was happening.
Then Fiona started laughing. “Just kidding!” she announced, getting to her feet. “It was a prank!”
The silence that followed was deafening. I felt the eyes of every patron boring into me. Fiona grinned, oblivious to the horror on everyone’s faces.
“Ma’am, that was extremely inappropriate,” the manager said, approaching our table. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
I stood up, grabbing my coat. “I’m leaving,” I said, my voice tight with anger. “Without my wife. You can get an Uber home on your own,” I informed her.
Fiona’s smile faltered. “Aw, come on. It was just a joke!”
I didn’t even respond. I couldn’t even look at her. I rushed out to the car and made off before she had time to respond — besides, she needed to settle the bill anyway.
As soon as I got home, I headed for the kids’ rooms. “Pack a bag,” I told Nora and Callum. “We’re going to Uncle Declan’s for a bit.”
An hour later, I was knocking on my brother’s door, two sleepy kids in tow. Declan took one look at my face and ushered us inside without a word.
“Guest room’s all yours,” he said, helping me with the bags. “Want to talk about it?”
I shook my head. “Not tonight. Thanks, bro.”
My phone buzzed incessantly with messages from Fiona. I ignored them all and tried to sleep.
The next morning, I woke to find 37 missed calls and twice as many texts. I scrolled through them, my anger reigniting.
“You’re overreacting.”
“It was just a joke!”
“How could you embarrass me like that?”
“You owe me an apology.”
I tossed the phone aside, disgusted. How could she not see how wrong she was?
As if on cue, my phone rang again. This time, it was Greta, Fiona’s mom. I hesitated before answering.
“Aidan! What’s this I hear about you abandoning my daughter at a restaurant?” Greta’s voice was shrill with indignation.
I took a deep breath. “Hi, Greta. It’s not what you think.”
“Oh? Then explain it to me, young man. Because from where I’m standing, you left your wife alone on your anniversary. That’s pretty low.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache coming on. “Fiona pulled a prank, Greta. A bad one. She pretended to choke in the middle of a crowded restaurant.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line. “She did what?”
I recounted the events of the previous night, including Fiona’s recent obsession with pranks and how it was affecting our family.
When I finished, Greta was quiet for a long moment. Then she sighed heavily. “Oh, Aidan. I had no idea it had gotten this bad.”
“Yeah, well. Now you know.”
“I… I don’t know what to say. If things are really this bad, I… I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted a divorce.”
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. Divorce? Is that where we were headed?
“I don’t know, Greta,” I said honestly. “I just need some time to think.”
After we hung up, I sat on the edge of the bed, my head in my hands. Was this really the end of our marriage?
I spent the day in a daze, mechanically going through the motions of caring for the kids. By evening, I’d made a decision.
I called Fiona. “Meet me at the restaurant tomorrow at 7 p.m. We need to talk.
She agreed immediately, sounding relieved. I hung up before she could say more.
The next night, I arrived at the restaurant early. My palms were sweaty as I clutched the envelope containing the divorce papers I’d had drawn up that afternoon.
Fiona walked in, looking smaller and more vulnerable than I’d ever seen her. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her hair disheveled.
“Hi,” she said softly, as she took a seat alongside me.
“Hi,” I replied, my throat tight.
We sat in awkward silence for a moment. Then Fiona burst out, “Aidan, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you or the kids. I just got carried away with the pranks and —”
I held up a hand to stop her. Without a word, I slid the envelope across the table.
Fiona’s hands shook as she opened it. Her eyes widened as she realized what she was looking at.
“No,” she whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Please, Aidan, no. We can work this out. I’ll stop the pranks, I promise. Please don’t leave me.”
I let her cry for a moment, my own eyes stinging. Then I took a deep breath.
“It’s a prank,” I said quietly.
Fiona’s head snapped up. “What?”
“The divorce papers. They’re not real. It’s a prank.”
Her mouth opened and closed, no sound coming out. I leaned forward, my voice intense.
“This is what it feels like, Fiona. This is how your pranks make us feel. Scared, hurt, betrayed. Is this what you want for our family?”
Fiona’s face crumpled. “No,” she sobbed. “God, no. I’m so sorry, Aidan. I never realized…”
I reached across the table and took her hand. “I love you, Fiona. But this has to stop. No more pranks. Ever. Can you promise me that?”
She nodded vigorously, squeezing my hand. “I promise. No more pranks. I’ll delete all those stupid videos. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
I exhaled slowly, feeling a weight lift from my shoulders. “Okay,” I said. “Then let’s go home.”
As we stood to leave, Fiona hesitated. “Aidan? Thank you for not giving up on us.”
I pulled her into a hug, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair. “We’re in this together,” I murmured. “For better or worse, remember?”
She laughed softly, a sound I realized I’d missed. “I remember. Let’s aim for ‘better’ from now on, okay?”
I nodded, feeling cautiously optimistic for the first time in weeks. As we walked out of the restaurant hand in hand, I knew we had a long way to go. But at least now, we were on the same page.
And there wasn’t a prank in sight.
What would you have done?
amie Lee Curtis overwhelmed with grief makes the heart-wrenching announcement
About her close friend and Curb Your Enthusiasm star Richard Lewis, who passed away on Tuesday at the age of 76 after a heart attack, Jamie Lee Curtis shared some very heartbreaking remarks.
The comedian and the 65-year-old actress, who portrayed the witch in Halloween, costarred in the sitcom Anything But Love for four seasons between 1989 and 1992.
After learning the tragic news of the actor’s passing on Wednesday, she shared a post on her personal Instagram profile. The first person to break the news was Bette Midler.
Curtis hailed the late singer in a lengthy statement for being “the reason I am sober” after sharing a number of vintage photos of the two of them.
Jamie battled an opiate addiction before celebrating 25 years sober this month.
“I recently found out about the passing of my friend Richard Lewis.” I can still clearly picture myself standing on Sunset Boulevard, staring at a poster advertising a stand-up special featuring him. I urged the casting staff to bring him in to try out for the role of Marty Gold, my best friend and potential boyfriend, during the ABC pilot Anything But Love casting process.
“I felt he had a good look.” It isn’t something a strong woman can really accomplish for herself, but someone made me giggle. He mispronounced the word “bundt cake,” but he still played the part, which made me laugh aloud.
Jamie remarked, “He blew everyone else away.” They added in their response that “the chemistry with Richard was so great,” even if they decided not to pick up the pilot for the love triangle show. Might we rework the initial pilot? We ultimately produced the show for two years in this manner.
He performed stand-up comedy as well, but he detested doing stand-up in front of actual audiences. I, however, thought it was fantastic.
In close-up, he would conceal his markings on door frames, objects, and even my face. He also carried a clipboard with his lines scribbled on it at all times. It turns out that he was a really good part actor. It’s hilarious and profound.
“We grieved together over the deaths of our friend and producer John Ritter as well as our friend and co-star Richard Frank,” she remarked.
“Richard expressed his desire for me to obtain another boxed set of show episodes from ABC/Disney in his most recent text message to me,” the actress said to her followers.
“He is also the reason I am sober,” Jamie continued. He was helpful to me. I shall always be appreciative of his kindness.
“He found love with Joyce, and that, of course, along with being sober, was what mattered most to him,” she stated when they discussed his wife Joyce Lapinsky. Writing this brings tears to my eyes.
It’s an odd way to express gratitude to a kind and humorous man. Richard, I hope you laugh till you die. Hannah exclaimed, “My Marty, I love you!” at the conclusion.
Jamie expressed her sadness over the passing of her longtime friend and former co-star in a second post.
She also included a line or two from the Anything But Love theme tune and another old photo of herself with Lewis.
“The great singer-songwriter JD Souther wrote this beautiful theme song for the third and final season of the TV show ANYTHING BUT LOVE, which aired on ABC for a few years,” Curtis said.
Look it up on YouTube and give it a listen. If not, I’ve recorded it for you right here. I’m presenting these to my buddy Richard Lewis today.
She revealed lyrics that read, “We would still be searching for the next big thing and trying not to fall… If we had never met/And the world got on without us/Just as if we were never that at all.”
“Hearts that beat like thunder and anything but love will do”Everything but love would be sufficient for everyone but you.
Celebrities and users of social media, including Larry David, who co-stars on Curb Your Enthusiasm, paid respect to the late Richard Lewis.
He told HBO, “He’s been like a brother to me for most of my life.” “In the same hospital, Richard and I were born three days apart.”
It doesn’t happen very frequently, but he was the sweetest and funniest guy at the same time. “But today he made me cry, and I’ll never forgive him for that,” the comic said in an interview with Variety.
Working alongside Lewis on the popular show, Cheryl Hines stated, “I had the biggest crush on Richard Lewis when I was young.”
“No one was cuter or more attractive on stage than him.” Then, a dream come true, I got to work with him on Curb Your Enthusiasm.
“I became more knowledgeable about Richard and his gifts as time went on.” He was humorous, which is why I fell in love with him, but he was also one of the kindest individuals I’ve ever met.
Cheryl stated, “He would take the time to tell the people he loved how much they meant to him, especially in the last few years.” In between takes on Curb, he told me how much he loved me and how essential I was to him.
“To have Richard Lewis love you.” An actual present. I adore you, Richard. You will be missed. I adore you, Joyce, and Richard’s entire family. Richard, Lawrence, cherished you.But you already know that.
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