I take it that everyone of us must navigate our own lives and take responsibility for our decisions? However, it is in our nature as humans to want to help friends who are actually in need. However, what would you do if your friend—the one you always stand by—started confiding in you about all of their issues, repeatedly, and with no sign of stopping? This Reddit member is exactly in that predicament. She wondered if she was managing the matter with her buddy correctly, so she looked to the large internet community for advice.
I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).
I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).
Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.
My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.
It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.
She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….
I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.
Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.
Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.
She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.
I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.
Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.
It’s Bed Time And This Toddler Is Excited!
It is 7:30 PM, and Mia, who is three years old, is bursting with energy. Mia is excited for sleep, bouncing around the house with her favorite stuffed animal tucked under her arm and her jammies on.
Sarah and Mike, Mia’s parents, laugh as they observe the contrast between Mia’s eagerness for bedtime and their regular arguments. But Mia’s excitement is contagious tonight.
Giggling, Mia dashes to her room and calls out to her parents to join her for the ritual of going to bed. Mike and Sarah trail after, fascinated by Mia’s unexpected love of sleep.
The nightly routine takes a lively turn in Mia’s room. Mia insisted on selecting a colorful story about amiable dragons from a stack of books for her bedtime reading. To Mia’s enjoyment, Mike creates sound effects while Sarah reads aloud.
Following the narrative, Mia takes control of her nighttime routine, making sure to choose her coziest blanket, brush her teeth with a disproportionate amount of excitement, and arrange her stuffed animals in the ideal order.
Mia surprised Sarah and the rest of the family by breaking into her favorite bedtime song, complete with unexpected dance moves and off-key humming. When Sarah and Mike join in, the family starts singing happily.
After finishing her nightly rituals, Sarah bends in to kiss Mia good night. With beaming eyes, Mia whispers, “I love you, Daddy and Mommy,” and then curls up under her covers.
Mike and Sarah look at one other, amazed at the unanticipated happiness Mia has brought to their evening. They come to the realization that sometimes the cutest things may be the most heartwarming as they carefully exit Mia’s room.
Sarah and Mike, thankful for the small pleasures of bedtime and the love that unites their family, consider the beauty of parenthood as Mia smiles and goes to sleep. They feel fortunate to have such a lively and affectionate little daughter as they leave Mia’s room.
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