I take it that everyone of us must navigate our own lives and take responsibility for our decisions? However, it is in our nature as humans to want to help friends who are actually in need. However, what would you do if your friend—the one you always stand by—started confiding in you about all of their issues, repeatedly, and with no sign of stopping? This Reddit member is exactly in that predicament. She wondered if she was managing the matter with her buddy correctly, so she looked to the large internet community for advice.
I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).
I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).
Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.
My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.
It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.
She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….
I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.
Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.
Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.
She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.
I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.
Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.
Woman Spends 10 Years at Home Raising 4 Kids, Husband Complains He is the Only Breadwinner
One evening, after an exhausting day at the office, Henry returned home, dropped his briefcase on the couch, loosened his tie, and settled in to watch TV. When Alison asked him for help retrieving something from a high shelf, he ignored her, choosing instead to relax. Frustrated, Alison asked again, and this time, Henry snapped.
“I’ve been working all day, and you’ve been home doing nothing! Can’t I just have a moment of peace?” he shouted. His words deeply offended Alison, leading to a heated argument. She defended her role, pointing out that managing the household and raising their kids was no small feat. Henry, still unwilling to see her side, retorted, “I work hard to provide for this family while you just cook, clean, and look after the kids. You get breaks. I don’t.”
Tired of the constant dismissals, Alison proposed they swap roles, challenging Henry to see firsthand who had the more demanding job. Confident that he would breeze through her responsibilities, Henry agreed to the switch.
The next morning, Alison prepared for her first day at Henry’s office, while Henry, eager to prove himself, tackled the household duties. Things quickly went awry. He burnt breakfast, struggled to get the kids ready for school, and even accidentally brought the wrong child home at pick-up time. His attempts to do laundry ended in disaster, with his white shirts dyed in bright colors. Dinner was another fiasco—burnt tortillas filled the kitchen with smoke, and Henry was left exhausted and overwhelmed.
By the fourth day of their challenge, Alison returned home to find the house spotless and dinner neatly plated on the table. For a moment, she was stunned. Had Henry finally mastered the art of homemaking? But Henry quickly revealed the truth—he had hired a housekeeper to manage the tasks he couldn’t handle.
“Honey, I’m so sorry,” Henry said, offering her a bouquet of roses. “I’ve realized just how hard you work, and I was wrong to take it for granted. You win.”
Alison, touched by his newfound understanding, forgave him. They decided to keep the housekeeper to lighten Alison’s load, allowing her more time with the children. From that day on, Henry never complained about his job again, and he was always quick to help Alison whenever she needed it.
Moral of the story: Don’t underestimate or take someone’s responsibilities for granted. Henry thought managing the household was easy until he experienced the challenges firsthand. It was only after swapping roles with his wife that he truly appreciated the hard work Alison had been doing all along.
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