I Told My Friend She Married a Useless Man, and Now She Hates Me

I take it that everyone of us must navigate our own lives and take responsibility for our decisions? However, it is in our nature as humans to want to help friends who are actually in need. However, what would you do if your friend—the one you always stand by—started confiding in you about all of their issues, repeatedly, and with no sign of stopping? This Reddit member is exactly in that predicament. She wondered if she was managing the matter with her buddy correctly, so she looked to the large internet community for advice.

I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).

I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).

Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.

My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.

It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.

She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….

I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.

Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.

Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.

She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.

I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.

Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.

What the Acne on 8 Body Parts Is Trying to Tell You About Your Lifestyle Habits

Acne really can determine what happened to your body and what health problems you may have. But in most cases, it is all caused by very simple lifestyle matters that can easily be changed right away. The thing to do is to figure out what triggered another pimple and what we can do today to prevent it from occurring in the future.

We at Bright Side have checked out the causes and would like to share this useful knowledge with you that’ll change your life from now on. But please keep in mind that this article is for informational purposes only. Please consult your doctor before you take any action or treatment.

1. Around the mouth

Acne around your mouth can occur if the skin in this area is irritated or frequently touched, like, by a cell phone or some other objects like helmet straps or musical instruments. Different cosmetics and facial products might also be the cause. As well as hormones and genetics.

First of all, if it appears frequently, see a dermatologist who will find a proper treatment that will work for you. But in any case, it’s always better to prevent it rather than to cure it. So make cleaning your skin with a gentle or mild cleanser twice a day a routine. Use makeup labeled as “non-comedogenic” (non-pore-clogging) and oil-free products, and please avoid touching your face.

2. On the nose

Our nose is one of the most common areas of the face to develop acne. It’s because its pores are typically larger, which makes it easier for dirt and bacteria to clog them up. What’s more, the skin here is also oilier and consequently more vulnerable to acne.

Nose acne can be triggered by diet, stress, and certain medications. Sometimes it can be a sign of more serious underlying health issues. But the most common cause is poor hygiene. So it’s always good to add some Tea Tree Oil to your routine, which is a very gentle and effective treatment against acne, or sodium sulfacetamide and sulfur which will prevent bacteria on the skin from multiplying. In very severe cases, consult a dermatologist.

3. On the forehead

The significant factor here is the same — an increase in oil production on your skin. But sometimes, it’s hard to figure out why it happens. Especially if you don’t take certain medications, and it’s not hormones or stress. It is interesting to know that our hair can be the source of forehead acne.

If your hair is oily, the oil can get on your forehead and clog its pores. Different pomades, gels, and waxes also may be the cause as they often contain cocoa butter or coconut oil and can leave your skin extra oily. A gentle cleanser can solve this problem. If it doesn’t help, try to avoid any oily hair products and just wash your hair more often.

4. Jaw and neck

If you think that acne, in general, may be hormonal, there’s good news for you: it’s not all like that. When certain hormone levels change, it can lead to increased androgens — the common contributing factor to adult acne. But there are some areas that are true indicators of hormonal fluctuations, and they include our jaws and neck.

It’s completely okay if fluctuations happen during menstrual cycles. It can also be caused by taking medications like birth control. In severe cases, it may be a medical condition, but most of the time a non-comedogenic cleanser, moisturizer, and acne treatment can solve the issue. Just like basic sun safety and proper sunscreen use.

5. On cheeks

Cheek acne is also a very common problem, especially now that we all have cell phones. Yes, not just touching your face, but even a mere phone conversation can cause some pimples to appear in this area. Phones are great at spreading bacteria. As well as dirty pillowcases and sheets and other objects that come into contact with your skin.

Cheek acne may be hormonal. But it is way more possible that it’s being caused by certain lifestyle habits. So this time, everything can be solved by a few simple changes. Like wiping down your phone before each use and not taking it to any germy places like the bathroom. Changing pillowcases and sheets every week is also a good idea, just like washing your hands regularly.

6. On your back

Back acne can be a mere allergy to sunscreen, moisturizer, body creams, massage oils, and wax. It also may be caused by our sweat, which mixes up with oil and toxins on our skin and clogs the pores. That’s why a quick shower after training is so important. And a proper washing of your back is a must.

Dirty clothes, blankets, and pillows can become a major cause of back acne as well. Clothes that are too tight are also a bad idea. They don’t allow your skin to breathe, which can cause irritation and, consequently, pimples on your back. If there is no obvious outer cause, it is better to pay attention to your diet and check to see whether you are getting sufficient nutrients. Stress could be the cause here too.

7. On legs

Acne is mainly the result of bacteria, sebum, and dead skin cells trapped in hair follicles and clogging the pores. It leads to inflammation and, on the legs, is entirely a physical issue. It’s typically caused by some athletic equipment rubbing against your skin or clothing or undergarments that are too tight.

But be cautious. People can often confuse acne on their legs with similar conditions as folliculitis, eczema, or keratosis pilaris. So if it is itchy and painful, it’s better to consult a doctor and use a professional treatment.

8. On your chest

Chest acne develops for pretty much the same reasons as on our backs and legs. For instance, if you have sensitive skin, harsh laundry detergents can clog and irritate your hair follicles. So it is better to choose sulfate- and fragrance-free hypoallergenic products when planning your next washing routine.

Wearing clothing that is too tight, or that doesn’t breathe well during your athletic training also can trap sweat, oil, and bacteria in the pores of your skin. This can also happen as a result of using certain body lotions that contain pore-blocking ingredients. So make sure to look for fragrance- and oil-free versions next time. They are usually labeled as non-comedogenic, which means they don’t clog pores.

What other methods do you use to prevent acne on your face and body? Have you managed to do it by changing only certain lifestyle habits?

Preview photo credit natali_ploskaya / Shutterstock.comanastas_ / Depositphotos.com

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