After four miscarriages and plenty of plain to overcome, Paige and her husband, Victor, finally welcomed a child in their life.
The two were a great couple who knew what worked for them and what didn’t. After every miscarriage, Victor assured Paige that everything would be all right eventually, and that if they couldn’t have a baby of their own, they could always consider other options. His words were always comforting.
When baby Mason was welcomed into the world, it felt like all those shattered dreams had finally pieced themselves together. He became the center of his parents’ lives and they put him above everything else, including their careers.
Being a chief executive with a clothing brand, Paige needed to travel a lot because she was involved in every step of the product designs.
This didn’t bother her much because she knew Victor was a wonderful father who took great care of their child whenever she was away from home.
When Mason turned four, Paige knew he was about to enter pre-school soon so she decided to limit her work trips in order to be able to spend more time with him.
One time, Paige was away from home for three days, and once her work was done, she was eager to get home to her family and give her son a hug. Little did she know that this time would be different.
As she entered, the house was strangely quiet, with faint shuffling noises coming from upstairs.
Victor’s voice was hushed but urgent — the same urgency that Mason associated with misbehavior and bedtime.
“Buddy, you’ve got to promise me one thing, okay?” Victor said.
“Okay,” Mason muttered innocently. “What is it?”
“You’ve got to promise me that you won’t tell Mom what you saw.”
“But I don’t like secrets,” Mason said. “Why can’t I tell Mommy?”
Victor let out a deep sigh — its echo seemed to ripple through the house, as if carried by the air.
“It’s not a secret, Mason,” he said. “But if we tell Mommy, it’s going to make her sad. Do you want Mommy to be sad, buddy?”
“No, I don’t,” Mason answered.
At that moment, pretending she didn’t hear a thing, Paige yelled, “Mason! Victor! Mom’s home!”
“What’s going on?” she asked, as Mason leaped into her arms.
“Nothing, honey,” Victor said, winking. “Just a boys’ chat. Welcome home.”
Since Victor was the perfect husband and father, Paige tried to convince herself that the conversation she overheard was truly nothing important. She thought to herself that Victor probably gave Mason too many sweets or let him eat junk food, and that’s what they tried to hide from her.
However, letting it go seemed harder that she thought.
The week that followed and the trip she had to take were both a blessing and a curse for Paige. As much as she loved her job, the thought of leaving Mason saddened her profoundly. She only found solace in the photos Victor sent her, and one of those photos brought more questions than answers.
In one of the photos showing Mason playing with his toys, Paige spotted blue shows she had never seen before. They weren’t hers, yet they were there in her living room.
Paige decided to scroll through each of the photos Victor has ever sent her, and she did find more evidence of someone being in their home while she was away. Was it a nanny he hired to take care of their son? If yes, she had a very expensive taste.
This time, Paige decided to return home without telling Victor. She wanted to surprise him.
Once home from her trip, she entered straight to Mason’s room who had just woken up and was rubbing his eyes.
“Dad’s not downstairs?” she asked, as she could hear noises coming from the bedroom. “Mommy, don’t go in there. You’ll be sad,” Mason warned her.
In the bedroom, Victor was in bed with another woman. “Paige!” he exclaimed, sitting up in bed. “It’s not what you think!”
“Do I look that stupid?”
The woman took her clothes and entered the bathroom, locking the door behind her.
The ensuing confrontation was a whirlwind of tears, accusations, and heartbreak. Victor attempted to deny everything, relying on his charm. Paige knew that if she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes, she might have fallen for his lies.
“I have nothing else to say to you,” Paige said.
“What did you expect, Paige?” Victor asked.
The woman fled the house and Paige was left to confront the man she no longer knew.
“You’re never here,” he lashed out. “You’re never around. And when you’re home, you spend all your time on Mason or working. What about me?”
He tried to portray himself as a victim. “I need human contact, too,” he said. “And I don’t know what you get up to when you’re flying all over the country. I bet you’ve got stories, too.”
“No, Victor,” she said. “I’m not you. My vows meant something to me.”
Eventually, Paige asked Victor to move out and filed for divorce. Reflecting on that conversation between him and Mason that she had overheard, Paige realized the signs were always there, but she tried to ignore them because she only saw the good in her soon to be ex-husband.
How to Own Your Dream Home
For most people, their first home isn’t their dream home. It starts off nice enough. But as time goes by and your family grows, starter homes tend to get a little . . . cramped.
But don’t hate on your current home too much. Because while it gave you a safe and dry place to lay your head at night, it was also setting you up to own your dream home someday.
We’ll show you how it all works and walk you through the steps that’ll get you in your dream home—one you can actually afford!
How to Get Your Dream Home in 5 Steps
Here are the steps:
- Follow the Financial Basics
- Find Out How Much Equity You Have
- Set Your New Home-Buying Budget
- Find the Right Dream Home for You
- Be Picky and Patient
Now let’s cover each step in more detail.
Step 1: Follow the Financial Basics
First thing’s first—you have to get out of debt, get on a budget, and build up an emergency fund of 3–6 months of expenses. Sounds pretty basic, right? If you haven’t completed these steps, then you’re not ready to upgrade to your dream home . . . yet.
Now, when you’ve got house fever, it can be hard to focus on paying off debt or saving an emergency fund before you upgrade your home—especially when you’re feeling the pressure of rising home prices and interest rates.
But whether it’s your second or third house, you should only buy a home when you’ve covered the financial basics we mentioned above. Then you’ll be ready to start the journey toward owning your dream house.
And that journey starts with your home equity. What’s equity? Well, we’re glad you asked . . . that brings us to the next step.
Step 2: Find Out How Much Equity You Have
Home equity is a pretty simple concept: It’s your current home’s value minus whatever you still owe on your mortgage.
See, in most cases, your home’s value increases over time. Similar to other long-term investments (like retirement accounts), homes gradually increase in value. There have been periods of ups and downs in the market to be sure, but the value of real estate has consistently gone up. According to the St. Louis Federal Reserve, the average sale price of a home has increased over 2,300% from 1965 to 2023! And in the last ten years (2013 to 2023), there’s been a 68% increase.1 As your home increases in value, so does your equity. In real estate terms, this is called appreciation.
Other factors that increase your home’s equity include:
- Added value: Home improvement projects like adding square footage, updating fixtures and appliances, or even just slapping on a new coat of paint can add value to your home.
- Mortgage paydown: Paying down your mortgage not only gets you out of debt faster, it also builds your equity. The less you owe on your home, the more equity you have.
The amount of equity you have gives you a pretty good idea of how much money you’ll end up with after selling your house. You can use that money to make a hefty down payment and cover the other costs that come with buying a home.
Find expert agents to help you buy your home.
So, how do you determine your home’s value? Well, you can get a ballpark estimate on real estate websites like Zillow, ask a trusted real estate agent to perform a competitive market analysis (which they’ll do anyway if they’re helping you sell your house), or get a professional appraisal.
Finding out your home’s equity will involve a little math, but it’s third-grade-level stuff, so don’t sweat it.
Here’s what we mean. Let’s say your home’s current value is $355,000. When you sell that house, you’ll have to pay for between 1–3% of the sale price in closing costs, another 6% in fees for the real estate agent who helped you sell it, and whatever’s left to pay off on your mortgage.
That means you can estimate clearing over $223,000 from selling your house. That’s a killer down payment on your dream home! And if your home is paid off, that’s even more money to put down and use to pay for things like repairs and moving expenses.
Step 3: Set Your Dream Home Budget
Once you know how much you’ll clear from the sale of your home, you can start making a budget for your dream home.
The key to owning your dream home (instead of it owning you) is to keep your mortgage payment to no more than 25% of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage, along with paying a down payment of at least 20% to avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI). Never get a 30-year mortgage even if the bank offers it (and they will). You’d pay a fortune in interest—money that should go toward building your wealth, not the bank’s.
So, let’s say your take-home pay is $4,800 a month. That means your monthly mortgage payment shouldn’t be any bigger than $1,200. By the way, that 25% figure should also include other home fees collected every month with the mortgage payment like homeowners association (HOA) fees, insurance premiums and property taxes.
Plug your numbers into our mortgage calculator to see how much house you can afford.
And don’t forget to budget for all those other costs that come with the home-buying process in addition to your closing fees—things like moving expenses and any upgrades or repairs you might need to make. You don’t want these hidden costs to catch you off guard or drain your emergency fund.
Step 4: Find the Right Dream Home for You
This is where things get real. After all your hard work building up your equity (and doing a lot of math—don’t forget that), you’re finally ready to start the house hunt. Woo-hoo!
But don’t lose focus. Stay zoned in by making a list of features that make a home fit your budget, lifestyle and dreams—and stick to it throughout your house hunt. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
- Don’t compromise on location and layout. If you plan to be in this home for the long haul, an out-of-the-way neighborhood or a wacky floor plan is a deal breaker. Look for a community and layout that’ll suit your lifestyle now and for years to come.
- Think about how much space your family needs. While your budget has the final say about how much home you buy, you’ll want your dream home to fit your family’s needs through different life seasons.
- Consider the school districts. If you have or want kids, the quality of the nearby school districts is probably already on your mind. But even if you don’t have kids or you’re retired, keep in mind that having good schools nearby could increase your home’s value.
- Look for a house that’ll grow in value. Are home values rising in the area? Is the number of businesses going up? These factors can help you figure out whether your dream home will turn into a good investment.
- Count the costs. Want that fancy master bathroom with the multiple showerheads and the Jacuzzi tub? Be clear on what’s a must-have and what’s nice to have. And don’t forget, upgraded features like that will make your dream home more expensive.
Step 5: Be Picky and Patient
We know you’re anxious to get into those new digs, but be patient. Wait for the right house at the right time. Don’t spend your money on a less-than-ideal home just because you’re tired of looking.
The key is finding a good real estate agent who understands your budget and refuses to settle for “good enough.” They’re as committed to your dream as you are and will have your back throughout the entire process, no matter what it takes.
In addition to teaming up with a great real estate agent, you can take a couple of extra steps to make sure you’re ready to strike as soon as the right home comes up:
- Get preapproved for a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage. Having preapproved financing is a green flag for sellers—especially in multiple offer situations. And because this puts most of your information in the lender’s system, you’ll be on the fast track to closing once your offer is accepted.
- Offer earnest money with your bid. Earnest money is a deposit to show you’re truly interested in a home. Usually it’s 1–2% of the home’s purchase price and it’s applied to your down payment or closing costs. Even if the deal falls through, you can almost always get most of it back.
Find a Real Estate Expert in Your Local Market
Now, you might be thinking you have some work to do before you’re ready to find your dream home. Or you may be realizing your years of hard work are about to pay off! Regardless, if you follow these steps, you’ll find the house you’ve always wanted and avoid a purchase you’ll regret.
Once you’re ready, connect with one of our RamseyTrusted real estate agents. These are high-performing agents who do business the Ramsey way and share your values so you can rest easy knowing the search for your dream home is in the right hands.
Find the only real estate agents in your area we trust, and start the hunt for your dream home!
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