Sadie and Jarvis Sampson tried for years to have a baby, using every method they could think of. They eventually accepted that they might only ever be an aunt and uncle. Then, one day, they got a text that changed their lives completely.
The couple had been trying to get pregnant since they got married in January 2018, but when it didn’t happen on its own, they tried everything else.
“We used ovulation tests, took prenatal vitamins, tracked cycles with apps, and used fertility monitors,” the Houston mom told Love What Matters.
“We even tried advice from friends, family, and strangers. For 14 months, we tried, prayed, and waited. Month after month, it was always a negative pregnancy test. It seemed like we might need help to conceive, so we even talked to doctors about it.”
Doctors didn’t offer much help to the couple. They mostly told Sadie to lose weight to improve her chances of getting pregnant. With no other advice, she had gastric surgery and lost 28 pounds.
Sadie’s OBGYN was excited about the weight loss and praised her for it.
“She told me that if I wasn’t pregnant within six months, she would refer me to a fertility specialist because she couldn’t prescribe fertility medication herself,” Sadie said. “I was thrilled! We finally got a positive step forward, even if it wasn’t immediate. We were excited about the progress.”
Unfortunately, the couple didn’t get pregnant after Sadie lost the weight, and they felt like they were back where they started.
“I always felt like I was meant to be a mother,” Sadie said. “Even though my surgeon warned me that I’d be very fertile after the surgery, I still wasn’t getting pregnant. So, we gave up and accepted that we might just be aunt and uncle to our nieces and godparents to our goddaughters.”
Just when the couple had decided to stop trying to have a baby, Sadie got a text from a friend asking if they would think about fostering a baby from a couple she knew.
At first, the couple was hesitant because they were told by a caseworker to take care of the baby while the birth mom was getting treatment. They worried they might get too attached. But then, the situation changed.
“The birth mom has decided she wants you to adopt the baby instead,” the caseworker said.
Sadie remembered saying, “‘Holy crap!!’ out loud when she found out she was going to be a mom.
“We went from having no kids to possibly fostering one, to suddenly being told, ‘You’re going to be parents!’ I was still in shock as I listened to the caseworker. I hung up and called my husband, shouting, ‘Babe!! They want us to adopt the baby! We’re going to be parents!’ He said, ‘Wait! REALLY?! I thought they just wanted us to foster him!’ I told him, ‘Nope! They want us to be his mom and dad.’”
The couple spent the weekend trying to take in the shocking news and getting ready, just in case the birth mom changed her mind.
By Monday, they were not only told that the birth mom still wanted them to adopt the baby, but she also wanted to do an independent adoption and was ready to sign the papers that day.
Their baby boy was born at just 33 weeks, which is seven weeks early. He weighed 4 lbs. 5 oz. “He was so tiny, he literally fit in one of my husband’s hands,” Sadie wrote.
“He was wrapped in a white blanket with pink and blue stripes,” Sadie said. “He had a small tube coming out of his nose because he couldn’t eat on his own since he was born early. But he was so cute!!!”
The couple shared their news on social media and were encouraged to create a registry. They listed 72 items, and within just three days, 55 of them were already bought for them.
Ezra Lee’s adoption was finalized in October 2020, and the couple had adorable family photos taken, all wearing t-shirts that said, “Families don’t have to match.”
In 2021, Sadie and Jarvis became parents to twin girls, Journee and Destinee, through embryo donation. True to their family motto, “Families don’t have to match,” the Black couple now has three white children – a boy and two girls.
For anyone who might judge their beautiful family, they have just one response: their family is built on the strongest foundation ever – love.
I Think My Wife Looks Ugly After Her Plastic Surgeries and I Don’t Know What to Do
Navigating changes in a relationship, particularly those related to physical appearance, can be a delicate and emotional journey. A Bright Side reader is having a hard time after his wife underwent plastic surgery. He shared a letter with us seeking our advice.
He shared his side of the story.
Here are some tips that we believe can help you.
- Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and understand why the changes in your wife’s appearance are affecting you. Are your concerns purely aesthetic, or do they come from deeper emotional reasons? Understanding your own feelings will help you communicate more effectively with your wife.
- Communicate Honestly and Compassionately: Approach the topic with empathy and compassion. Let your wife know that you love her deeply and that your concerns come from a place of care. Use «I» statements to express your feelings without placing blame.
- Focus on Emotions, Not Criticism: Avoid criticizing your wife’s appearance directly. Instead, focus on expressing how the changes make you feel. For example, you might say, «I miss the unique features that made you who you are,» rather than, «You don’t look like yourself anymore.»
- Reassure Her of Your Love: Make sure your wife knows that your love for her goes beyond physical appearance. Reassure her that you’re committed to supporting her through any challenges she faces, including those related to self-image.
- Encourage Open Dialogue: Encourage open and honest communication between the two of you. Create a safe space where both of you feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
- Seek Professional Help If Needed: If you find it difficult to navigate these conversations on your own, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide guidance and support as you work through your feelings together.
- Focus on Shared Activities: Spend quality time together engaging in activities that you both enjoy. Focus on building emotional intimacy and strengthening your bond as a couple.
- Support Her Self-Esteem: Encourage your wife to focus on aspects of herself that she feels confident about, aside from her appearance. Remind her of her strengths and accomplishments.
- Be Patient and Understanding: Remember that adjusting to changes in appearance can be a complex process, and it may take time for both of you to adapt. Be patient with each other and offer support along the way.
- Explore Ways to Reconnect: Find ways to reconnect as a couple and reignite the spark in your relationship. Whether it’s through shared hobbies, romantic gestures, or simply spending quality time together, prioritize nurturing your connection.
By approaching the situation with empathy, understanding, and open communication, you can navigate this challenging time with grace and compassion.
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