At 35, inexperienced Antonio Banderas suddenly became the father of 6-year-old and 10-year-old kids. Years have passed, and he lives an entirely different life, but he is still a part of their family.
Movie star Antonio Banderas married a woman with two young children and expressed that it was nerve-wracking to marry into a wholesome family of three while being inexperienced.
Spanish actor Antonio Banderas and actress Melanie Griffith met while still married to other people. Griffith was still married to actor Don Johnson whom she wed twice, but they officially separated in 1994.
Actor Antonio Banderas and actress Melanie Griffith pose at The Antonio Banderas’ Blue Seduction for Women fragrance launch at Cedar Lake on July 10, 2008 in New York City ┃Source: Getty Images
She later fell for Banderas, who happened to be her co-star at the time in the 1995 rom-com, “Two Much.” He was still technically married to his first wife, actress Ana Leza. However, the pair were going through a separation then.
A month after Banderas and Griffith finalized their divorces, they walked down the aisle again in an intimate ceremony on May 14, 1996, in London.
When asked what attracted him to the New York native, “The Legend of Zorro” star told AARP in November 2011 that he had “admired Melanie long before I met her.”
Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith during 12th Carousel of Hope Ball at Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California ┃Source: Getty Images
Banderas recalled the first time he saw Griffith in the 1988 movie, “Working Girl,” and was mesmerized by her beauty, “Wow, she’s so beautiful, so special,” he said. He later spotted her at the Oscar Awards on the red carpet but had forgotten her name:
“Pedro Almodovar said, ‘It’s Melanie Griffith, you idiot! She’s nominated for an Academy Award tonight!’ Six years after that, we’re married!”
When asked how they went from their working relationship to being romantically involved while starring in “Two Much,” Banderas revealed they were both “unhappy” in their marriages.
“Things don’t work out sometimes, and that’s the way it goes. But we recognized that we were unhappy. I saw her with her kids, and she was so beautiful as a mom,” said the Spain native.
Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith during the 55th Cannes film festival: Stairs of “Femme Fatale” on May 25, 2002 in Cannes, France ┃Source: Getty Images
Banderas explained that it is typical for co-stars to develop a connection while working together and that most of the time, after filming, everyone cuts ties, but the same cannot be said about him and Griffith.
They kept in touch frequently until they finally admitted they had feelings for each other. Something he noted “was not easy” to do. When the “Frida” star married the Golden Globe Award winner, she had two young children from her previous marriages.
Griffith had her first child, son Alexander, with actor Steven Bauer whom she wed in 1981 and divorced in 1989 following five years of marriage. She welcomed her eldest daughter Dakota with Johnson, whom she was married to between 1976-1976 and 1989-1996.
Banderas Became an ‘Inexperienced’ Stepdad to Griffith’s Kids
Asked how he tried to blend into the marriage being a stepfather to Griffin’s son and daughter, Banderas admitted that it was difficult because he had to reassure the kids that he was there to stay:
“It was hard because the kids had to accept me, and I was totally inexperienced. Suddenly, I had a 6-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy. But as soon as the kids knew I was there to stay, they were fine. They needed solid ground in which they could grow.”
Antonio Banderas, Melanie Griffith and children during The 61st Annual Golden Globe Awards – Arrivals at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California | Source: Getty Images
Once he came to that realization, the “Spy Kids” star began “establishing my relationship, giving them security, little by little doing the father thing.”
When asked how long it took to put the children’s minds at ease, Banderas divulged “it took less than a year” for his stepchildren “to realize that I was not temporary.”
Soon, his daughter Stella was born, which became overwhelming because he was still trying to get Alexander and Dakota to warm up to him.
Banderas Had a Huge Influence on His Stepdaughter’s Career
Banderas’ hard work bonding with his stepkids yielded positive results as he became instrumental in Dakota’s acting career. The “Fifty Shades of Grey” star first had her acting stint in her stepfather’s directorial debut, “Crazy in Alabama” in 1999, alongside her mother. Dakota played Sondra in the film.
As a young child, she spent time with Banderas on set and recalled bringing pop singer Madonna an Easter basket while filming “Evita” in Budapest in 1996.
ANTONIO BANDERAS’ STEPDAUGHTER DAKOTA JOHNSON STILL CALLS HIM ‘PAPI’ DESPITE HIS SPLIT WITH HER MOM
At 35, inexperienced Antonio Banderas suddenly became the father of 6-year-old and 10-year-old kids. Years have passed, and he lives an entirely different life, but he is still a part of their family.
Movie star Antonio Banderas married a woman with two young children and expressed that it was nerve-wracking to marry into a wholesome family of three while being inexperienced.
Spanish actor Antonio Banderas and actress Melanie Griffith met while still married to other people. Griffith was still married to actor Don Johnson whom she wed twice, but they officially separated in 1994.
Actor Antonio Banderas and actress Melanie Griffith pose at The Antonio Banderas’ Blue Seduction for Women fragrance launch at Cedar Lake on July 10, 2008 in New York City ┃Source: Getty Images
She later fell for Banderas, who happened to be her co-star at the time in the 1995 rom-com, “Two Much.” He was still technically married to his first wife, actress Ana Leza. However, the pair were going through a separation then.
A month after Banderas and Griffith finalized their divorces, they walked down the aisle again in an intimate ceremony on May 14, 1996, in London.
When asked what attracted him to the New York native, “The Legend of Zorro” star told AARP in November 2011 that he had “admired Melanie long before I met her.”
Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith during 12th Carousel of Hope Ball at Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California ┃Source: Getty Images
Banderas recalled the first time he saw Griffith in the 1988 movie, “Working Girl,” and was mesmerized by her beauty, “Wow, she’s so beautiful, so special,” he said. He later spotted her at the Oscar Awards on the red carpet but had forgotten her name:
“Pedro Almodovar said, ‘It’s Melanie Griffith, you idiot! She’s nominated for an Academy Award tonight!’ Six years after that, we’re married!”
When asked how they went from their working relationship to being romantically involved while starring in “Two Much,” Banderas revealed they were both “unhappy” in their marriages.
“Things don’t work out sometimes, and that’s the way it goes. But we recognized that we were unhappy. I saw her with her kids, and she was so beautiful as a mom,” said the Spain native.
Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith during the 55th Cannes film festival: Stairs of “Femme Fatale” on May 25, 2002 in Cannes, France ┃Source: Getty Images
Banderas explained that it is typical for co-stars to develop a connection while working together and that most of the time, after filming, everyone cuts ties, but the same cannot be said about him and Griffith.
They kept in touch frequently until they finally admitted they had feelings for each other. Something he noted “was not easy” to do. When the “Frida” star married the Golden Globe Award winner, she had two young children from her previous marriages.
Griffith had her first child, son Alexander, with actor Steven Bauer whom she wed in 1981 and divorced in 1989 following five years of marriage. She welcomed her eldest daughter Dakota with Johnson, whom she was married to between 1976-1976 and 1989-1996.
Banderas Became an ‘Inexperienced’ Stepdad to Griffith’s Kids
Asked how he tried to blend into the marriage being a stepfather to Griffin’s son and daughter, Banderas admitted that it was difficult because he had to reassure the kids that he was there to stay:
“It was hard because the kids had to accept me, and I was totally inexperienced. Suddenly, I had a 6-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy. But as soon as the kids knew I was there to stay, they were fine. They needed solid ground in which they could grow.”
Antonio Banderas, Melanie Griffith and children during The 61st Annual Golden Globe Awards – Arrivals at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California | Source: Getty Images
Once he came to that realization, the “Spy Kids” star began “establishing my relationship, giving them security, little by little doing the father thing.”
When asked how long it took to put the children’s minds at ease, Banderas divulged “it took less than a year” for his stepchildren “to realize that I was not temporary.”
Soon, his daughter Stella was born, which became overwhelming because he was still trying to get Alexander and Dakota to warm up to him.
Banderas Had a Huge Influence on His Stepdaughter’s Career
Banderas’ hard work bonding with his stepkids yielded positive results as he became instrumental in Dakota’s acting career. The “Fifty Shades of Grey” star first had her acting stint in her stepfather’s directorial debut, “Crazy in Alabama” in 1999, alongside her mother. Dakota played Sondra in the film.
As a young child, she spent time with Banderas on set and recalled bringing pop singer Madonna an Easter basket while filming “Evita” in Budapest in 1996.
Her stepdad also cherishes such memories, and he once gushed:” She’s my daughter. I love her. I’ve been with her on my shoulders, traveling all around the world.”
Banderas also revealed Dakota’s sweet nickname for him while growing up, which is a combination of the word “daddy” in his native language and his name:
“Dakota called me Paponio, which is a mixture between papa, which is ‘daddy’ in Spanish, and Antonio. I’m her Antonio papa, so Paponio.”
Sadly, Banderas and Dakota’s mom filed for divorce in June 2014 following 18 years of marriage and released a joint statement that read:
“We have thoughtfully and consensually decided to finalize our almost twenty years marriage in a loving and friendly manner honoring and respecting each other, our family and friends, and the beautiful time we have spent together – Melanie & Antonio.”
The former couple had an amicable separation, and Griffith cited irreconcilable differences as the reason why she and Banderas parted ways.
Dakota Still Maintains a Loving Relationship with Her Stepfather
Many years later, her daughter presented Banderas with the Best Actor Award at the 2019 Hollywood Film Awards in a touching speech. Dakota got emotional when lovingly talking about her stepfather while calling him by her childhood nickname:
“I come from a family of many a marriage, and I got very lucky. I got a bonus dad who I realized that, over time, is actually one of the most influential people in my whole life.”
The Texas native said Banderas brightened their lives and shared his sense of “creativity and culture” with them, adding he brought “one remarkably magical little sister into our family.”
Chocking up, Dakota stated: “My stepfather! Antonio Banderas burst into our lives. He was so vibrant and fun and funny, and his English was abstract, and we found it amazing.” She said he “loved” her mom and her and her siblings so much that it changed their “lives forever.”
In his acceptance speech, Banderas dedicated the award to” two people” he loved, including Dakota, saying it was because she had always called him “Papi” and still does, which he loves. Following the event, the devoted stepdad told E! News Online that he “had no idea” that his stepchild would be honoring him with such a heart-warming speech:
“It was all a surprise. I knew that she was going to give the speech, but I had no idea whatsoever how she was going to do her speech. She didn’t tell me anything.
The proud father said it brought back all those memories he created with his blended family and that “it was a confirmation” that the time he spent with Griffith was not only about them but “about the family. They were all worth it.”
In February 2015, Banderas was promoting his animated film “The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water,” which was to be released the same weekend as Dakota’s “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie, and mentioned what a stellar actress she was.
He emphasized that there was “no competition” between him and his stepdaughter because their audiences differed for the films. “I wish Dakota the best, not only because of this movie,” but because he and the rest of the family, including Dakota’s biological father, knew she was an excellent performer.
Banderas added that Dakota would have a thriving career because she is versatile in portraying different characters. She nails comedy, which was evident in the TV series “Ben & Kate,” and drama too, which showed in the movie, he said. He noted that it was a window of “opportunity” for Dakota and that he knew she would grab it with both hands and run with it.
My Husband Said His Job Was Sending Him on a Work Conference — Then I Found Out He Was at a Wedding
When Lee’s husband claims he’s flying out for a work conference, she trusts him, until a Facebook photo shatters the illusion. No podium, no conference, just a wedding… and his ex. What follows isn’t a meltdown. It’s a reckoning. A calm, calculated confrontation that redefines trust and a quiet strength that shows exactly what betrayal costs.
When Jason told me he had to fly out of state for a last-minute marketing conference, I didn’t question it.
He’s in sales. Conferences happen. He even showed me the email with the company header, bullet-point itinerary, flight details.
A laptop opened to emails | Source: Midjourney
“Lee, I’m going to be super busy, honey,” he’d said. “I’m probably going to be off the grid for most of the weekend. So, don’t worry about me! You take time off and enjoy yourself.”
“Yeah, I may do a spa weekend,” I said, thinking out loud.
I packed his garment bag myself. I made sure that the suit was pressed correctly. I slipped in his favorite tie, the blue one that I always said made his eyes look softer. He laughed and kissed my forehead.
A suit hanging in a cupboard | Source: Midjourney
“Don’t miss me too much,” he said.
I watched him walk through security and disappear. I trusted him the same way you trust gravity. I thought that if anything, we had enough trust in our marriage.
But then everything changed two days later. I was scrolling through Facebook on a lazy Sunday afternoon, mindlessly sipping tea and avoiding laundry, when I saw it.
A woman scrolling on her cellphone | Source: Midjourney
My husband. My hard-working husband. Jason.
Not behind a podium. Not shaking hands at a conference.
Oh no, my husband was standing at the altar wearing the suit I had packed. He was grinning like he was the happiest man in the world. He had a glass of champagne in one hand and a little box of confetti in the other.
A smiling best man at a wedding | Source: Midjourney
He was a best man in a wedding I hadn’t been told about.
In a photo that clearly I was never supposed to see. And standing next to him? Emily, his ex. The one that he swore was ancient history.
But they looked anything but history. They looked… familiar. Like they had been together all along.
“What the actual hell, Jason?” I said to the empty living room.
A smiling couple at a wedding | Source: Midjourney
My fingers hovered over the screen like they didn’t belong to me. I zoomed in without meaning to, as if seeing his smile up close might make it make sense. But it didn’t.
He was happy. He was content and relaxed. Like someone who hadn’t lied to the woman waiting for him at home.
I felt the air go thin, like my lungs forgot how to take it in.
A woman sitting on a couch | Source: Midjourney
My first instinct wasn’t rage. It was grief. Like something sacred had quietly died in the background and no one had told me.
I sat there for a long time, frozen in that moment between disbelief and devastation, trying to convince myself there had to be an explanation.
But I knew better.
A close up of an upset woman sitting on a couch | Source: Midjourney
I’d packed that suit with love. I’d even slid one of my sleeping t-shirts into his suitcase so that he could smell me on his clothes. Instead, this man had worn that suit like a weapon, armed with the blue tie that I adored on him.
I didn’t scream though. But something inside me went silent. It was as though someone had plugged all my sound.
But that silence?
It was louder than any fury.
A blue tie on a bed | Source: Midjourney
Jason came home on Monday evening. He smelled like hotel soap and something expensive that I couldn’t pinpoint but was sure I hadn’t packed. He looked tired. Like someone who spent the weekend performing, not working.
He kissed my cheek like nothing had happened. Like he hadn’t stood at an altar in front of strangers while I sat at home believing he was “off the grid.”
“Please tell me that you cooked?” he asked. “I missed your cooking, Lee! Hotel food is great and all, but home food? Yes, ma’am.”
A smiling man standing in a hallway | Source: Midjourney
I looked at him like he had grown antennae.
“Not yet,” I said. “But there is something we need to talk about before we make dinner.”
He followed me to the living room, where I had a clipboard on the coffee table.
“I’ve made a list of upcoming events that I’ll be attending without you. Let’s run through them together.”
A clipboard on a coffee table | Source: Midjourney
“What?” Jason blinked, already off balance. “What do you mean? We always attend events together. Even if only one of us is invited, we always make a plan, Lee!”
Aah, Jason. You stupid fool, I thought. You’re digging your grave even deeper.
“Well, I suppose things change… life is expensive now. People can only afford a certain number of guests. This is just so we’re clear on our new standard for marital communication.”
A woman standing in a living room | Source: Midjourney
He opened his mouth, confused but I handed him the clipboard anyway.
At the top, in clean, deliberate ink:
Lee’s Upcoming Itinerary
Thursday: Daniel’s art show. Opening night, downtown.
Saturday: Girls’ trip to Serenity Spa Resort (adults only, co-ed pool).
The interior of a spa | Source: Midjourney
Next Week: Networking dinner at Bistro (attending solo, red dress ready).
Two Weeks: Chelsea’s birthday dinner.
He read the list in silence, his mouth pressed into a thin line.
A woman standing in a bistro wearing a red dress | Source: Midjourney
I leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed.
“Daniel? Your ex-boyfriend?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “Don’t worry. I won’t mention any of this until after it happens. You don’t need to know, right? Since that’s how we do things now, right?”
His head snapped up.
A woman standing in a doorway | Source: Midjourney
“Lee, come on. This isn’t the same. It was work…”
“Don’t lie,” I said simply. “Because you lied about it all. And your lie involved tuxedos and speeches and an ex-girlfriend in a bridesmaid dress?”
He opened his mouth but I kept going. My voice didn’t rise. It didn’t have to.
“I don’t know if you slept with her or anything, Jason. I really don’t. But I know you lied. You crafted a whole fake weekend. You made me think you were unreachable because you were working, when really, you just didn’t want to answer any of my calls in case she was nearby. Right?”
A smiling bridesmaid | Source: Midjourney
He stared at the clipboard like it had personally betrayed him.
“I… I messed up,” he said, his voice cracking around the edges.
That was it. Not “I’m sorry.” Not “It meant nothing.”
Just… I messed up.
“Yeah, you did,” I said.
And then I walked past him. Because when trust cracks like that, even forgiveness walks with a limp.
An upset man sitting on a couch | Source: Midjourney
After that night, we didn’t speak much.
Not because we were giving each other the silent treatment… but because we didn’t know what words to use. Everything felt too big. Too sharp.
He hovered like a man on eggshells, trying to do things right without knowing what “right” looked like anymore. And I moved through the days on autopilot, brushing my teeth beside him, making dinner, folding his t-shirts with hands that weren’t sure what they were holding onto.
A woman busy in a kitchen | Source: Midjourney
I wasn’t ready to leave. But I wasn’t ready to forgive him either.
Jason and I didn’t end our marriage.
So I did what I always did when I didn’t have the answer. I made a plan. I found a therapist and I made the appointment.
And when I told him he was coming with me, he didn’t argue. He just nodded. Like he knew he should’ve offered before I even had to ask.
A smiling therapist | Source: Midjourney
Because when trust breaks, the first step isn’t forgiveness. It’s seeing if the pieces still fit.
We sat side by side on a faux-leather couch in a beige room with neutral paintings and a therapist who asked gentle questions like landmines.
Jason deleted his Facebook account. I watched him tap through the settings and confirm it. We shared passwords. Calendars. He sent texts when he was five minutes late and asked before making plans.
A cellphone on a table | Source: Midjourney
He got quieter. Listened more. He flinched every time the topic turned to Emily.
But something in me had shifted.
I smiled through some of the sessions and said all the right things, but in the quiet spaces—in bed, in the car, making toasted sandwiches—I felt it.
Toasted sandwiches on a board | Source: Midjourney
The ground wasn’t level anymore.
The man I used to trust without question had introduced doubt into the blueprint. The tiny tremors hadn’t stopped, even if the apology had been offered.
And sometimes, healing feels less like mending and more like learning how to live with the crack.
A pensive man sitting on a couch | Source: Midjourney
People sometimes ask how we moved past it, how I stayed with Jason… how I forgave him. They ask carefully, like the answer might undo something in their own lives.
I don’t offer any clichés. I don’t say “because I loved him,” or “because people make mistakes.” Those things are true, but they aren’t the reason.
The truth is quieter.
A nonchalant woman standing on a porch | Source: Midjourney
After everything unraveled, after the Facebook post and the confrontation and the shaky apology, I sat alone at the kitchen table one night and wrote a list. Not the playful, pointed list I gave him with the clipboard.
A real one. Private.
I wrote down every opportunity I could have taken to betray him right back. The moments I could have used my pain as a license to be reckless. The people who would’ve welcomed me if I’d reached out.
The invitations I could have accepted without explanation. The places I could have gone where he wouldn’t have followed.
A woman sitting at a table and writing | Source: Midjourney
I wrote it all out. Line by line.
And then I looked at it for a long time.
There’s a kind of power in knowing what you could do and choosing not to. It doesn’t feel like weakness. It feels like clarity.
I realized I wasn’t staying out of passivity. I was staying because I still believed something could be rebuilt, maybe not the exact shape we had before, but something real.
A smiling woman | Source: Midjourney
Something honest.
Trust isn’t a light switch. It doesn’t come back the second someone says “I messed up.” It’s slow. Uneven. Sometimes you think it’s returning, only to feel it vanish again the moment something feels off.
Therapy was an eye-opener. Jason listened more than he spoke. I spoke more than I wanted to. There were moments when we couldn’t look each other in the eye.
But we stayed in the room.
A pensive man sitting on a couch | Source: Midjourney
What brought us through wasn’t grand gestures. It was the accumulation of small choices. A hundred moments where he had to earn back something he never should’ve gambled.
And for me, it was that list. It was knowing what I could’ve done and choosing not to.
That choice, quiet and unseen, became the foundation for everything that came after.
We’re still here. Still building. Still flawed.
A woman standing on a porch | Source: Midjourney
But I don’t flinch when he says that he has a work trip. I don’t check flight confirmations or second-guess a photo someone else posts online. That’s not because I forgot.
But it’s because he remembered to be truthful and honest and to honor our vows.
A man walking out of a house | Source: Midjourney
What would you have done?
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