Every day, the female body is exposed to more and more judgment from society. Social media feeds are full of unrealistic photos that can really make someone feel uncomfortable in their own skin. For women with postpartum bodies, this topic can be the most sensitive. To support others, this proud mother decided to stop hiding behind filters or pieces of clothing and embrace the flaws that truly make us special.
Most mothers aren’t prepared for the challenges that come after childbirth.
Danisha, a mom of 4, recently started sharing her journey about accepting her body on social media. At first, she was really ashamed and constantly tried to hide her postpartum belly, but with her last baby, she wanted a change.
“I didn’t know that I would have as much loose skin as I do now, and stretch marks. No one ever discussed it, my doctors didn’t discuss it,” the mother explained. “I didn’t know that my body just wouldn’t look the same anymore. But I want to embrace my body, and I’m happy where I’m at.”
Danisha believes a woman’s body creates miracles.
Seeing tons of celebrities and models posing with their pregnant bellies can give us the wrong image. They can make us believe that perfection can exist and that something might be wrong with our own bodies, even lowering our confidence to the point that we forget to love ourselves.
In one of her Instagram posts, she pointed out to other moms that they are loved, saying, “Don’t let society trick you into believing you need to be ’fixed.’ Your body is not wrong, society is!”
Society expects a different image of the female postpartum body.
Women are expected to quickly bounce back to their pre-pregnancy bodies. For many mothers, this can feel like they’re strangers in their own their skin. Fighting against your body means losing the battle in the end, but knowing how to accept it and start loving yourself from all angles is a different type of pure love that can only occur if the mother is 100% ready to do it.
The brutal honesty behind Danisha’s posts makes her even prouder of who she is. “Our body is meant to evolve and change, that is what happens with growth, not everyone’s body will change the same and that’s okay,” she admitted. “My wonderful body carried 4 beautiful blessings, my belly is a reminder of that and signifies growth. It has taken me a long time to accept her, love her, and appreciate her.”
Despite the negative comments that come from everywhere, knowing how to keep your positivity is one of the hardest jobs that people face when they show themselves at their most vulnerable online.
“I have a pouch, I have soft stretchy loose skin. My physical features are not what makes it beautiful, but the fact that my body was able to create life itself for a fourth time. I’m strong as a mother.”
Danisha doesn’t let the negative comments stop her. Showing the raw reality behind a mom’s body is a huge help for other mothers out there as well. “A lot of mamas are unprepared for postpartum.”
It’s a privilege to watch our bodies change as we grow older.
Sometimes, despite all our efforts and hard work to keep our bodies in shape, genetics can get involved and create a different person in the mirror. She explained, “I love it when people tell me that if I had moisturized my skin more then my belly wouldn’t have looked ’this way’ or if I wore a waist trainer I wouldn’t have a pouch and even greater if I dieted or exercised more, then my belly wouldn’t be as ’big.’”
The mother of 4 continued, “The reality is genetics play a big role. My belly is this way because of 4 reasons. I created life 4 times and no oils or creams would have miraculously prevented it. My sagging skin, stretch marks, and other love marks are reminders of bearing my children.”
Every mother is special in her own way and no one deserves to be discriminated against because of their appearance.
“To the mama looking at herself in the mirror: It’s completely normal not to fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes your body outgrew in order to make room for your beautiful blessing. Sizing up is nothing to feel ashamed of,” Danisha declared.
It wasn’t easy, but Danisha started accepting her body.
Understanding how to love stretch marks and accept body changes can be one of the hardest steps that a mom can do. They are a natural response from the body.
“Many would love to have tiger stripes. You can also have them without having children. My tummy was home to 4 of my children, and they love it,” she said.
Beauty comes from both inside and outside.
Regardless of what we look like on the outside, whether we differ in skin color or weight, all people are special in their own way, and our bodies do an amazing job at keeping us alive. In an effort to encourage others around her, this mother points out, “Whether you choose to cover your belly or not, you’re still worthy, still beautiful.”
Here are some similar stories that show us the beauty in every woman’s body.
A Mom of 4 Proudly Documents Her Postpartum Body and Becomes the Dose of Body Positivity We All Need
A Mother Was Told Her Stomach Was “Nasty,” but She Proves How Beautiful Women’s Bodies Really Are
9 Times Ashley Graham Embraced Her Motherhood Journey, From a Postpartum Body to Breastfeeding
8 Celebrity Moms Who Got Honest and Showed Us the Raw Reality of Motherhood
Preview photo credit mama3x__ / Instagram, mama3x__ / Instagram
11 Old-School Parenting Rules That We Can’t Imagine to Follow Today
These days, young parents have tons of information about raising kids. There are books, websites, and experts offering advice on every little thing. They can even get consultations from specialists whenever they need. But our own parents didn’t have all that. They raised us based on what they knew and what they learned from their own parents. So sometimes, the way we were brought up can seem really different from what we’re told is best now.
1. Early marriage and parenthood go without saying.
In earlier generations, there was often pressure on young adults to marry and start a family at a relatively young age, and to have more than one child a couple of years after the start of the family. Today, there is more emphasis on personal and career development before settling down. And moreover some researches show that early marriage can lead to some family problems, like dissatisfaction with married life, experience of having lots of responsibility, lack of independence in family life.
2. A college education is an indicator of your status.
«You can’t find a good job without going to college!» Many people must have heard this when they were teenagers. And lots of us believed this, but now don’t even know where our college diploma is. More than 41% of people that finished college have jobs that don’t require this kind of education. Today, employers are more interested in the practical skills of their employees rather than their qualifications.
When you finish school, it may be wise to take a gap year to understand what you really want to do and decide if you actually need a college education.
3. Classes are good for kids’ development — the more, the better!
A very tight schedule can exhaust children, which is obviously not good at all.
Famous American teacher Douglas Haddad recommends that parents slow down and give their children time to discover their own talents, and then decide if they need additional forms of education.
4. Being plump is healthy.
Children that always finished their meals were praised, and being plump was believed to be healthy. But bad eating habits formed in childhood often result in weight problems and eating disorders.
5. Money can’t buy happiness.
We wish this were true, but life says otherwise: money can make you happier, no matter what other people say.
Parents should teach their children the basics of budgeting. This will help kids form the right habits in money management and reach financial success in their adult lives.
6. Not standing out from the crowd means being good.
Traditional parenting often enforced strict dress codes and grooming expectations, particularly regarding modesty and conformity to societal norms. This might puzzle us today as modern parenting encourages children to express themselves through their clothing, appearance and let them express their emotions fully.
7. Older children are responsible for younger ones.
Very often, older children had to spend a lot of time taking care of younger ones. Parents had to work a lot and there was no other choice. But older kids had to sacrifice their time with friends and hobbies for the needs of their younger siblings.
Psychologists say that sometimes when kids have to perform the duties of parents, it may lead to psychological problems: they might not want to have their own children.
8. Women are housewives and men are breadwinners.
In recent decades, gender roles are not as important anymore. Women today can build successful careers and men can go on paternity leave and manage things around the house.
9. There’s nothing more shameful for a woman than having children without a husband.
Wrong, again. Today, there’s nothing surprising about single mothers and they’re not frowned upon as they were 30 years ago. Very often, having a child without a husband is an informed decision made by a woman. More than that, in the past 30 years, the number of single fathers has increased 1.5 times.
10. Storks deliver babies.
Some topics were never discussed — like when kids asked where babies came from, parents often said that they were delivered by a stork. Because of this, young people would often get into their first relationship without any knowledge of their bodies. They only based things off of the advice they received from their friends and bits of information from books and films. All these experiences could lead to bad consequences, including problems with both physical and mental health.
11. Children should be seen and not heard.
In the past, children were often expected to remain quiet and obedient in the presence of adults. Modern parenting emphasizes the importance of children expressing themselves and their opinions, because self-expression is a vital component of a young individual’s growth. The development of self-esteem and confidence in children is frequently nurtured by their capacity to express their feelings with clarity and authenticity.
Every parent has their own way of raising children. Just like how every family has its own special traditions, parents have rules they think are best for their kids. Sometimes, famous people, like celebrities, also share their ideas about parenting. They might talk about what works for them and their families. But in the end, each parent decides what’s right for their own children, based on love and what they believe is best.
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