According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Heartfelt Prayers for the Bryant Family After Another Tragic Loss
Joe “Jellybean” Bryant, the father of the late Basketball Hall of Famer Kobe Bryant, has passed away at 69, as reported by La Salle University’s athletics department.
According to La Salle men’s head basketball coach Fran Dunphy, The Philadelphia Inquirer noted that Joe had recently suffered a stroke, although the exact cause of death has not been confirmed.
La Salle University, where Joe both played and coached, released a statement saying he “was a beloved member of the Explorer family and will be dearly missed.”
Joe was an accomplished basketball player in his own right, having been drafted as the 14th overall pick by the Golden State Warriors in the 1975 NBA draft. He played four seasons with the Philadelphia 76ers, three seasons with the San Diego Clippers, and one season with the Houston Rockets, in addition to his time playing in Europe.
The 76ers honored Joe as “a local basketball icon, whose legacy on the court transcended his journey across Bartram High School, La Salle University, and his first four NBA seasons with the 76ers from 1975-79.”
His sudden passing comes four years after the tragic deaths of his son Kobe and granddaughter Gianna, who were killed in a helicopter crash alongside seven others.
Kobe’s widow, Vanessa Bryant, shared her condolences on Instagram, saying, “We hoped things would’ve been different. Although the times we spent together were few, he was always sweet and nice to be around. Kobe loved him very much.”
Doug Young, a former teammate of Kobe, praised Joe as the perfect role model. “Joe was our JV coach at Lower Merion, and I could not have asked for a more positive mentor, teacher, and role model,” Young told ESPN. “It’s difficult to overstate how much he influenced me and my teammates. He made basketball fun and inspired us all to be better; he believed in us. I’ll never forget his infectious smile, his bear hugs, and the incredible bond he shared with Kobe. Growing up in Lower Merion, there was no family we loved and admired more than the Bryants, and that started with Joe.”
Arn Tellem, vice chairman of the Pistons and formerly Kobe’s agent, expressed his sorrow over Joe’s passing and joined the basketball community in mourning a true Philadelphia hoops legend. “Our friendship opened the door for me to represent Kobe as he entered the NBA, a memory I’ll always cherish. Joe was a devoted husband, father, and grandfather, whose warmth touched everyone he met.”
May he rest in peace.
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