Mike and I had been married for eight years. No kids yet, but I thought we were happy. I worked full-time, split the bills, did everything a good wife does.
Then one evening, I came home a little late, and there she was — HER.
A very pregnant woman sitting on my couch. My heart skipped a beat, thinking she was a friend in need. But the look on Mike’s face told me everything.
“Hey, we need to talk,” he said casually. Then he dropped the bomb: “This is Jessica. She’s pregnant. With my child. We’ve decided to be together.”
I froze. Then he had the nerve to tell me TO MOVE TO MY MOM’S while they took the house. I was speechless. My bl:ood was boiling, but I kept my cool.
I looked him dead in the eyes and said, “Okay, I’ll go away.”
Mike probably thought he’d gotten off easy. Jessica’s smile grew wider. Little did they know, the lottery was about to hit them backhard.
I packed a suitcase with some essentials, and left without another word.
I drove to my mom’s house. The next day, I set my plan in motion.
I marched in the bank like a woman on a mission. I froze our joint account faster than you can say “cheating jerk.”
The look on the bank manager’s face when I explained why was priceless.
Next, I visited a locksmith.
I remembered overhearing Mike tell Jessica they’d be gone for three days, giving me plenty of time to execute my master plan.
My next stop: my house – the same cozy house Mike and I once lived together.
The puzzled locksmith probably thought I was crazy, cackling as I had him change all the locks on the house.
Then came the movers.
I gave them the spare keys and scheduled them to pack up everything I owned, which was basically everything in the house. I even took the toilet paper. Let’s see how Mike and Jessica enjoy using leaves!
But the piece de resistance? I had a brilliant idea that would make this revenge not just sweet, but long-lasting.
I sent out party invitations to Mike’s family, our friends, his coworkers, even nosy neighbor.
The invitation read: “Come celebrate Mike’s new life! Surprise party at our house, tomorrow at 7 p.m.!”
Then, I commissioned a billboard. It was delivered and set up on our front lawn.
In giant, bold letters, it proclaimed: “Congratulations on Dumping Me for Your Pregnant Mistress, Mike! Hope the Baby Doesn’t Inherit Your Infidelity!”
I stepped back to admire my handiwork. With a satisfied smirk, I sashayed away from the scene, eagerly anticipating the chaos that was about to unfold.
The next evening, my phone rang. It was Mike.
“Michelle, What the hell is going on? Why are there people at our house? And what’s with this insane billboard?”, he screeched.
I said, trying to sound innocent. “Just a little housewarming party for you and Jessica. Don’t you like the decorations?”
“Decorations? It’s a freaking circus out here! And why can’t I get into the house?”
I couldn’t help but giggle. “Well, honey, you told me to move out, remember? You never said anything about you staying there. I just remembered that the house is solely under my name. So, I changed the locks. Oopsie!”
There was a long silence on the other end. I could almost hear the gears in his tiny brain trying to process what was happening.
“Where are we supposed to go?” he finally sputtered.
“Gee, I don’t know, Mike. Maybe Jessica’s mom would love to have you? I hear pregnancy hormones and in-laws mix really well.”
In the days that followed, I had the utilities cut off, canceled the cable, and made sure all our joint assets were transferred into my name. I listed the house for sale, making sure to mention in the listing that it came with a “bonus front lawn art installation.”
I had Mike served with divorce papers at work. I specifically requested the mailman to dress up as a pregnant woman. Just for funsies.
But the universe wasn’t done with Mike yet. Oh no, it had saved the best for last.
A week later, I got a call from Jessica. She was crying so hard.
“Michelle,” she sobbed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… I mean, Mike told me you two were separated. And now… now he’s broke and homeless, and I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what to do!”
I almost felt bad for her.
“Well, Jessica,” I said, trying to keep the glee out of my voice, “I hear the circus is always looking for new acts. Maybe you two could start a juggling duo? You juggle the baby, he juggles his lies?”
She didn’t appreciate my humor. Tsk! Tsk!
As it turns out, when Jessica found out that Mike was now homeless, broke, she decided that maybe being with a guy who had no money, no house, and no future wasn’t such a great idea after all.
She dumped him.
Last I heard, Mike was living in a tiny apartment, trying to scrape together enough money to pay bills and feed his hungry belly. His family had cut him off, disgusted by his behavior.
They even sent me a fruit basket and a sorry card.
As for me? The house sold for a nice profit. I moved to a beautiful new place, started my own business, and adopted a cat. I named him Karma.
Straight Family Man Prefers To Wear Skirts And Heels As He Believes ‘Clothes Have No Gender’
Introducing Mark Bryan, a fashion-forward robotics engineer who is making waves and upending conventional wisdom. Bryan, who has been married for eleven years and is a loving parent, defies stereotypes by dressing in what many would consider unusual clothing. Bryan, an American living in Germany, freely wears heels and skirts, stating that gender norms shouldn’t apply to fashion.
You might wonder, why? Bryan, on the other hand, thinks that men’s fashion—particularly office wear—is very boring, consisting only of dark blues, grays, and blacks with the occasional pinstripe. Is there any passion in that? Conversely, skirts provide an array of designs, patterns, and hues – a veritable rainbow of outfit options!
Bryan embraces a fashion trend that combines parts of the traditionally masculine and feminine, teaming ties and blazers with pencil skirts and four-inch heels. It’s his method of demonstrating the genderlessness of clothing. In addition, when his girlfriend wanted a dancing partner who could match her eye level back in college, he taught her how to walk in heels. After a whole year of preparation, he has been strutting with confidence ever since!
Bryan’s unrepentant attitude disregarded social norms. He dresses in ways that bring him joy while defying conventions. What he says about it is as follows:
Clothes are genderless in my opinion. I like skirts more than dresses. I can’t mix the genders with dresses. Above the waist, I like to look “masculine,” and below the waist, I like to look non-gendered. It’s all about the genderlessness of clothing.
Bryan recalls an era when girls were not supposed to wear pants to school. Pants are now gender neutral. Why not heels and skirts then? Furthermore, males have worn heels in the past. The Persian cavalry of the tenth century, who wore galesh or kalash boots to keep their feet in stirrups, are credited with the invention of high heels. Later, wearing high heels—even by popes—became a status signal for European royalty.
The 18th century saw the emergence of a gender gap in fashion, which Bryan is now challenging, as a result of ridiculous cultural concerns that declared fashion to be a frivolous issue unworthy of “real men.”
Bryan admits that his fashion choices could cause people to double take, even though he advocates for guys to wear high heels. However, he compares the response to seeing someone with vivid green hair, which seems strange at first but eventually becomes just another feature of that individual.
“Leave a person with vivid green hair behind. Green hair is not typical. You glance up and notice someone, and your brain immediately identifies them as having green hair. You may find that strange or intriguing, but you quickly move on to your previous task without giving it any more attention. I think people react the same way when they see me wearing heels and a skirt.
Bryan finds it easy to find heels and skirts that fit. He has a lot of alternatives because he has size 8.5 feet and a size 8 skirt. He advises men who want to wear heels to start low and work their way up to a comfortable level.
What are your thoughts on Mark Bryan’s wardrobe selections? Would a man you know try wearing high heels? Talk about this with your loved ones and friends and let’s start a dialogue!
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