A three-year-old throws tantrums and begs his mother not to go to daycare. Worried, she goes in unannounced and what she sees shocks her.
“No, mommy, no!” Johnny threw himself on the floor and started screaming. Marla Evans sighed. Not again! She looked at her watch. If he threw a full tantrum, she would be late yet again.
She gazed at her three-year-old with exasperation. Johnny had been going to daycare for two years and always loved it. For the last week, out of the blue, he’d been making a scene, begging Marla not to take him.
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She’d spoken to her pediatrician, and the doctor had told her that toddlers often went through the ‘terrible threes.’ “Stop it!” Marla heard herself scream, then she saw the look of fear in her son’s eyes. Something wasn’t right.
Marla sat down on the floor next to Johnny and coaxed him into her lap. He sobbed, pressing his little face against hers. Marla decided this was more than a tantrum, but what could be wrong?
“Honey,” Marla said gently. “I’m sorry. Mommy didn’t mean to snap.” She rocked him until he stopped crying and asked gently, “Why don’t you like daycare anymore?”
Raising a child is about setting and respecting boundaries.
Johnny shivered in her arms and whispered, “I don’t like!”
“But why, sweetie?” Marla asked. “Are the other kids mean?” But Johnny wouldn’t answer. Marla sighed. “Baby, mommy needs to go to work, but I tell you what… I’m going to come and get you from daycare early today, OK?”
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Johnny sat up in her lap. “No lunch?” He looked up at her anxiously. “No lunch, mommy?”
Lunch? The worried mom frowned. What was happening with her son?
Marla dropped Johnny off after promising she’d fetch him before lunch. He walked into the daycare quietly but threw Marla a pleading look that left her heartbroken.
She went to work and asked her boss for the afternoon off to deal with a personal issue. Thankfully, her boss was a mom too and understood!
Marla was determined to get to the bottom of Johnny’s reluctance to go to daycare. She decided to drop in — not before lunchtime as she promised Johnny — but during the meal.
Johnny’s daycare didn’t allow the parents into the children’s playrooms or the dining room, but each door of the facility had a large, clear glass window. Hopefully, Marla would be able to see what — if anything — was going on.
When she arrived, the receptionist told her the children were having lunch. Marla walked to the dining room and peered in. The kids were all sitting at their tables, eating.
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A teacher or an assistant supervised each table. Marla quickly spotted Johnny. There was a woman Marla didn’t recognize sitting next to him.
As Marla watched, the woman picked up Johnny’s spoon, scooped up a portion of mashed potatoes, and pressed it against his lips. “Eat!” she cried. Johnny shook his head violently, his mouth firmly closed, tears running down his cheeks.
“Open your mouth and eat!” the woman said angrily. Johnny was looking deeply distressed. The woman cried, “You are going to sit here until you clear your plate!”
Marla saw a small portion of mince, mash, and vegetables left on Johnny’s plate, and she knew her son. Johnny was not a big eater; she never pushed it when he told her he’d had enough.
Johnny opened his mouth to protest, and the teacher quickly pushed the spoon in. Marla saw her son choke and sputter. She’d had enough! She opened the door and stormed in.
“Get away from my son!” she cried.
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The woman looked up, and her mouth hung open. “Parents aren’t allowed in the dining room!” she cried.
“Then they should be,” Marla said, reining in her anger. “Can’t you see Johnny’s had enough? He’s a healthy boy, but he is not a big eater. As an educator, you should know how traumatic force-feeding a child can be.
“Being forced to clean up the plate is an old-fashioned notion. You should be aware of the statistics and the causes of obesity and eating disorders in children.
“And one of them is making food an issue! My little boy is an active child, and if he feels he’s had enough, you need to respect that and not force him to eat.
“As for shoving food into a child’s mouth in that way, it is reprehensible! You should certainly know better. These children are not puppets for you to manipulate at will!
“They are little people with needs and a will of their own. If you don’t respect their boundaries, you teach them they don’t deserve respect. I don’t think that is a message you want to pass on!”
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The teacher flushed a bright red and got to her feet. “I never…” she cried.
“That’s a pity,” Marla said crisply. “Because if this happens again, I will ensure you are out of a job! I’m not sending my son to daycare to be brutalized!”
Marla walked over to Johnny and tenderly wiped his mouth. “Come on, honey,” she said gently. “Mommy promised you a treat this afternoon!”
Marla had a long talk with Johnny, and there was no tantrum the next morning. Over the next few weeks, she popped into the daycare at lunch times just to keep an eye on things.
The teacher never forced Johnny to eat again, and the boy recovered his good humor and enthusiasm.
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What can we learn from this story?
- Children and their boundaries should be respected. Johnny’s teacher was teaching him that adults had the right to impose their will on children against their welfare.
- Raising a child is about setting and respecting boundaries — theirs and ours. A child whose boundaries are not respected is insecure and has low self-esteem.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a little boy who learns all about love by watching how his father treats his mother.
This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
My Husband Always Left the House When His Phone Rang & Returned with Smelly Clothes
When James, my husband, started leaving the house in a rush, I was sure something sinister was happening. He did this several times without a clear explanation. His strange behavior had me thinking he might be ch_eating, as he refused to tell me the real truth. When I finally found out the truth of what he was doing, I was shaken to my core!
For ten years of our marriage, I thought I knew everything about him. But MAN, was I mistaken! What I believed I knew about him was that he was driven and successful. He always seemed so tough, almost impenetrable
For all the time James and I had been together, I’d never seen him cry! But I never doubted his love for me; I could simply feel it in his actions, even if he didn’t say it often. That was until the last few months when things started to change.
My husband began acting differently. He was rarely home, spent no time with the children, and every time his phone rang, he would immediately leave.
When I confronted him about the calls and the rushed departures, he made a claim I couldn’t fathom. “It’s urgent office work, my love.” I didn’t believe him at all, mainly due to the next thing I am about to share.
What had me doubting him was the oddest part of all this. My husband would come back home and IMMEDIATELY throw his clothes in the washing machine! His clothes were washed even if he’d only worn them that day for roughly an hour!
After that, James would take a shower, no matter how briefly he’d been gone. It was perplexing and, frankly, worrisome! No matter how I tried to get him to tell me the truth about what he was actually doing, James would stick to the work excuse.
I once snuck to the washing machine during his shower time. Doing my own investigations I pulled out his clothes to smell them for women’s perfume. Instead, I was hit with a stench I couldn’t explain! His clothes smelled PUTRID!
That evening, after my husband left in a hurry once again, I made a decision that I couldn’t take it anymore and was fed up. I needed to know what was going on! I grabbed my coat and tracked him down, following him to his destination.
My heart pounded as I trailed his car through the winding streets. He finally came to a halt when he parked in front of an old, run-down building on the edge of town.
I even wondered whether it was safe to go in or not and hesitated for a while before summoning the courage to enter. But what I witnessed inside left me SPEECHLESS!
I saw him with a bunch of people and they were doing something I couldn’t even comprehend as I stood there with my mouth open. James, my stoic, seemingly indifferent husband, was there in an APRON! MY man was serving food to a group of homeless people!
He was smiling, chatting, and laughing, a side of him I had NEVER seen before! It was like watching a stranger, but one who looked so much like the man I married! As if sensing my presence, James looked up, and our eyes met.
He froze, his face a mask of fear and surprise. My husband then quickly made his way over to me, taking off his apron as he walked. “Lily, I can explain,” he said, his voice trembling slightly. “Please do,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.
“What is all this? Why didn’t you tell me?” James took a deep breath, leading me to a quieter corner. “This is my project, the one I live for.” I watched him, waiting for the revelation that was about to change everything I thought I knew about my husband.
“I was born in poverty,” he began. “Sometimes, my family had nothing to eat. My single mom couldn’t feed me and my brother, so she gave us up for adoption,” James said. “We were taken in by a wealthy family who gave us everything we needed.”
I was shocked that I’d never known this about him. “But there was a catch. My new dad was strict; he believed in toughness and never showing vulnerability,” my husband continued. “I had to bury my soft side deep inside just to survive in that house because my adopted father forbade me from showing it.”
“He’s the one who taught me to be tough and determined, hence my work ethic.” Tears welled up in my eyes as I listened. This was a side of James I never knew, a past he had never shared. “So, you started this to show your true self?” I asked, my voice breaking.
“Yes,” he said, his eyes reflecting a mixture of pain and relief. “When I became successful, I realized I needed to find a way to express my soft side somewhere. I wanted to give back somehow.”
“I wanted to help people who are in the same position I once was.”
“So, I started this shelter, this kitchen, as my way of giving back and being true to who I am. It’s a part of me I’ve hidden for so long.” He explained how he started feeding poor and homeless people and sheltering them too.
What he did hit me hard, the weight of his hidden life pressing down on me. I understood now why he had been so secretive, why he NEEDED this outlet. It wasn’t just about work; it was about redemption and compassion.
I took his hand in mine. “James, you should have told me. We could have done this together.” He squeezed my hand, a tear slipping down his cheek. At that moment, I fell deeper in love with him, realizing that he was human too.
I saw a side of him that made me see that he was a multifaceted being. “I was scared, Lily. Scared of what you might think, scared of appearing weak.”
“You’re not weak, my darling,” I said firmly. “Showing your soft side, helping these people, that’s the STRONGEST thing you can do!”
Since then, our relationship changed. I finally understood why he was secretive and washed his clothes after every trip. I joined James in his mission. I started volunteering at the shelter and bringing the children along too.
They learned the value of kindness and humility, and at the same time saw their father in a new light! We grew closer than ever, united by his hidden passion and newfound openness. My husband showed me that true strength lies in being able to show your vulnerability.
I also learned through him that inner strength lay in giving WITHOUT expecting anything in return. The act of giving was a gift of its own. Our family became stronger, bound by love. We were united by his formerly hidden compassion, newfound openness, and a shared commitment to helping others.
Luckily for Lily, her husband wasn’t doing anything wrong on his random trips.
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