Laughter truly is the best medicine, and who doesn’t love a good joke to brighten their day? From kids and animals to life’s quirky moments, these 12 jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone.
Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or a laugh-out-loud moment, we’ve got you covered. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a collection of humor that’s as diverse as it is hilarious.
Friends laughing at something on a cell phone | Source: Pexels
The Parrot and the Burglar
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house. As he tiptoed through the living room, a booming voice stopped him in his tracks: “Jesus is watching you!”
Terrified, he froze, but when silence returned, he crept forward again.
The voice echoed once more, “Jesus is watching you!”
Panicking, the burglar scanned the room and spotted a parrot in a cage.
“Was that you?” he asked.
A burglar holding his hands against his head | Source: Pexels
“Yes,” the parrot replied.
Relieved, the burglar asked, “What’s your name?”
“Moses,” said the bird.
“Moses? That’s a dumb name for a parrot. What idiot named you that?”
A parrot in a birdcage | Source: Pexels
The parrot squawked, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”
Moses’ quick wit is just the start of this laughter-filled journey. As we turn the page to the next joke, prepare for a story that combines a bit of mystery with a generous dose of hilarity. Hold onto your sides as we dive into this playful tale by the cemetery.
The Nutty Cemetery Mix-Up
Two boys were sitting behind a nut tree near a cemetery fence, dividing a bucket of nuts. The bucket was so full that some nuts fell out and rolled away, ending up near the fence. The boys ignored them for now and continued dividing the nuts in the bucket.
Nuts lying on grass | Source: Pexels
“One for you, one for me,” they chanted.
A third boy cycling by heard the voices and thought, “It’s Satan and St. Peter dividing souls!” Terrified, he rushed to an old man further down the road. After much persuasion, the old man hobbled over with him to see what the boy was talking about.
Peering through the fence, they heard, “One for you, one for me…”
Trembling, the old man whispered, “This is real!”
A shocked elderly man peering through a fence | Source: Midjourney
But just as they braced themselves, the boys finished dividing the nuts and said, “Now let’s fetch the ones by the fence.”
The old man reportedly made it back to town five minutes before the boy.
Those mischievous boys by the cemetery certainly knew how to spark some laughs. But now, let’s shift gears to a family situation with a humorous twist. This next joke shows just how creative (or not) some relatives can be when left in charge.
The Twin Naming Fiasco
A man attending a conference overseas got the news that his wife had given birth to twins. Excited, he called her and asked, “Who took you to the hospital?”
A happy man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels
“Your brother, Joe,” she replied. “And since I was under anesthesia, he also named the babies.”
Horrified, the husband exclaimed, “Joe’s a moron! What did he name them?”
“Well, we have a girl and a boy. He named the girl Deniece.”
“That’s not so bad. What about the boy?”
A thoughtful man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels
“Joe called him De-nephew.”
Joe’s naming antics were nothing short of entertaining, weren’t they? But hold on, because this next tale introduces a farmer who takes communication to a whole new level. Get ready to laugh as a lawyer struggles to decode a farmer’s quirky requests.
The Farmer’s Divorce Dilemma
A farmer walked into a lawyer’s office and said, “I want a day-vorce.”
A farmer standing in a lawyer’s office | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer asked, “What grounds do you have?”
“About 140 acres,” the farmer replied.
Exasperated, the lawyer asked, “Do you have a grudge?”
“Sure do—that’s where I park my tractor.”
Finally, the lawyer shouted, “Why do you want a divorce?”
A lawyer leaning on his desk, looking frustrated | Source: Pexels
The farmer sighed, “I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.”
The farmer’s take on communication left us in stitches, but the humor doesn’t stop there. This time, we’re jumping into the world of a frog with an unusual destiny. Get ready for a ribbit-ing prediction that’s bound to crack you up.
The Frog’s Unfortunate Prediction
A frog called a psychic hotline.
A frog on a table | Source: Pexels
He was thrilled when the psychic told him, “In the next month, you’ll meet a beautiful young woman. She’s going to be fascinated by you and want to know everything about you.”
“Where will I meet her?” the frog asked eagerly. “Will we be at a party? Or, maybe she’ll be strolling past my home?”
The psychic replied, “None of those. You’ll meet her in her biology class next semester.”
A woman speaking into a headset microphone | Source: Pexels
Just when you thought things couldn’t get more unexpected, we’ve got a wartime confession that’s equal parts surprising and amusing. This joke reveals how even serious situations can take a turn for the hilariously awkward. Let’s dive in.
The Never-Ending War
A man in Amsterdam confessed to his priest, “During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic.”
“That’s not a sin,” the priest reassured him. “You helped someone in need.”
A priest listening to a confession | Source: Pexels
“But I charged him 20 Gulden a week,” the man added.
“That wasn’t good, but you still saved his life,” said the priest.
The man lets out a deep sigh. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that. But tell me, Father, do I have to tell him the war’s over?” asked the man.
A man confessing his sins to a priest | Source: Pexels
That moral dilemma from WWII had quite the twist, didn’t it? Now, let’s step into the workplace for a story of pure comedic misfortune. Brace yourself for a laugh-out-loud moment that could only happen to someone truly unlucky.
The Iron Phone Incident
Mark showed up to work with two red, sore ears.
His coworker asked, “What happened?”
A man working on a construction site glancing to one side | Source: Pexels
Mark explained, “I was ironing while watching TV. When the phone rang, I picked up the iron instead.”
“And the other ear?”
“The guy called back.”
Mark’s phonecall mishap had us in tears, but this next one takes us to a fast-food joint where sharing gets a hilarious spin. Get ready for a tale of an elderly couple who redefine the concept of “togetherness” in the quirkiest way possible.
Sharing is Caring
An elderly couple walked into a fast-food restaurant and ordered one burger and a small order of fries. As they sat down, they carefully split everything: the burger, the fries, even the drink.
A burger and fries on a table | Source: Pexels
A trucker watching nearby felt sorry for them and offered to buy the wife her own meal.
The husband politely declined, saying, “Oh, no, thank you. We share everything.”
A few minutes later, the trucker noticed that while the husband was eating, the wife hadn’t touched a bite.
Concerned, he asked, “Why aren’t you eating?”
A trucker seated in a fast-food restaurant | Source: Midjourney
The wife replied sharply, “Because I’m waiting for the teeth!”
From fast-food hilarity to a nocturnal adventure, this next joke is a real screamer—or should we say squeaker? Join us as we enter the world of bats with a twist that’s both dark and uproarious.
The Blind Bat
A vampire bat returned to his cave covered in blood, only to be hounded by others asking where he got the blood.
Bats hanging in a cave | Source: Pexels
Finally, he led them through a forest and pointed to a tree.
“Do you see that tree?” he asked.
“YES!” they screamed.
“Good,” he said, “because I didn’t!”
That bat’s nocturnal adventure was one for the books, but now it’s time for a lighter laugh. This next joke involves flowers, sympathy, and a classic case of mixed messages that’ll leave you grinning.
The Florist’s Card Mix-Up
A store owner was thrilled to receive a bouquet of flowers on the opening day of his new business.
A bouquet with a card | Source: Pexels
However, his excitement turned to confusion when he read the card attached: “Deepest Sympathy.”
Puzzled, the man called the florist to report the mistake. The florist apologized profusely and said, “I’m so sorry about that! Your card must have been sent to the funeral home instead.”
The store owner asked, “What did that card say?”
A man holding a note while making a phone call | Source: Pexels
The florist replied, “‘Congratulations on your new location.'”
Florists may have their missteps, but wait until you hear about this lawyer with a name that’s as clever as his joke. This next tale is all about wordplay and a fitting tribute with a punchline to match.
The Honest Lawyer
A lawyer named Strange ordered a tombstone inscribed, “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer.”
The stonecutter refused, saying, “It’s illegal to bury two people in one grave. But I can write, ‘Here lies an honest lawyer.'”
A man ordering a tombstone | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer protested, “How will people know it’s me?”
The stonecutter replied, “Easy. They’ll read it and say, ‘That’s Strange!'”
We’ve had clever wordplay and hilarious mix-ups, but now it’s time to finish strong with a tale of extreme conditions and an unexpected celebration. Buckle up for this finale that’s sure to leave you laughing out loud.
The Farmer in Hell
A farmer from Texas found himself in hell after he passed away. The Devil was surprised to find the farmer unfazed and smiling in the heat.
A farmer relaxing in Hell | Source: Midjourney
“Why are you so happy?” asked the Devil.
The farmer replied, “This feels just like a hot June day back home when I’m plowing my fields.”
Annoyed, the Devil increased the heat to 105 degrees with stifling humidity. Yet the farmer continued to smile no matter how high the Devil cranked up the heat.
Finally, the Devil decided to freeze hell over, setting the temperature to a bone-chilling -10 degrees.
Frozen lava | Source: Midjourney
To the Devil’s surprise, the farmer began running around and shouting with joy.
“What are you so happy about now?” the Devil demanded.
The farmer shouted, “The Cowboys must’ve won the Super Bowl!”
Whether it’s a parrot outsmarting a burglar or a farmer making the Devil sweat, these stories are sure to brighten your day.
Two women laughing together | Source: Pexels
So, share them with friends, family, or coworkers, and keep the laughter going. After all, life’s too short not to laugh out loud!
Keep the laughs coming with these jokes about bars, jobs, and quirky animals.
At 55, I Got a Ticket to Greece from a Man I Met Online, But I Wasn’t the One Who Arrived — Story of the Day
At 55, I flew to Greece to meet the man I’d fallen for online. But when I knocked on his door, someone else was already there—wearing my name and living my story.
All my life, I had been building a fortress. Brick by brick.
No towers. No knights. Just a microwave that beeped like a heart monitor, kids’ lunchboxes that always smelled like apples, dried-out markers, and sleepless nights.
I raised my daughter alone.
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Her father disappeared when she was three.
“Like the autumn wind blowing off a calendar,” I once said to my best friend Rosemary, “one page gone, no warning.”
I didn’t have time to cry.
There was rent to pay, clothes to wash, and fevers to battle. Some nights, I fell asleep in jeans, with spaghetti on my shirt. But I made it work. No nanny, no child support, no pity.
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And then… my girl grew up.
She married a sweet, freckled guy who called me ma’am and carried her bags like she was glass. Moved to another state. Started a life. She still called every Sunday.
“Hi, Mom! Guess what? I made lasagna without burning it!”
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I smiled every time.
“I’m proud of you, baby.”
Then, one morning, after her honeymoon, I sat in the kitchen holding my chipped mug and looked around. It was so quiet. No one to shout, “Where’s my math book!” No ponytails bouncing through the hallway. No spilled juice to clean.
Just 55-year-old me. And silence.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Loneliness doesn’t slam into your chest. It slips in through the window, soft like dusk.
You stop cooking authentic meals. You stop buying dresses. You sit with a blanket, watching rom-coms, and think:
“I don’t need grand passion. Just someone to sit next to me. Breathe beside me. That would be enough.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
And that’s when Rosemary burst into my life again, like a glitter bomb in a church.
“Then sign up for a dating site!” she said one afternoon, stomping into my living room in heels too high for logic.
“Rose, I’m 55. I’d rather bake bread.”
She rolled her eyes and dropped onto my couch.
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“You’ve been baking bread for ten years! Enough already. It’s time you finally baked a man.”
I laughed. “You make it sound like I can sprinkle him with cinnamon and put him in the oven.”
“Honestly, that would be easier than dating at our age,” she muttered, yanking out her laptop. “Come here. We’re doing this.”
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“Let me just find a photo where I don’t look like a saint or a school principal,” I said, scrolling through my camera roll.
“Oh! This one,” she said, holding up a picture from my niece’s wedding. “Soft smile. Shoulder exposed. Elegant but mysterious. Perfect.”
She clicked and scrolled like a professional speed dater.
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“Too much teeth. Too many fish. Why are they always holding fish?” Rosemary mumbled.
Then she froze.
“Wait. Here. Look.”
And there it was:
“Andreas58, Greece.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
I leaned closer. A quiet smile. A tiny stone house with blue shutters in the background. A garden. Olive trees.
“Looks like he smells like olives and calm mornings,” I said.
“Ooooh,” Rosemary grinned. “And he messaged you FIRST!”
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“He did?”
She clicked. His messages were short. No emojis. No exclamation marks. But warm. Grounded. Real. He told me about his garden, the sea, baking fresh bread with rosemary, and collecting salt from the rocks.
And on the third day… he wrote:
“I’d love to invite you to visit me, Martha. Here, in Paros.”
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I just stared at the screen. My heart thudded like it hadn’t in years.
Am I still alive if I’m afraid of romance again? Could I really leave my little fortress? For an olive man?
I needed Rosemary. So I called her.
“Dinner tonight. Bring pizza. And whatever that fearless energy of yours is made of.”
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***
“This is karma!” Rosemary shouted. “I’ve been digging through dating sites for six months like an archaeologist with a shovel, and you—bam!—you’ve got a ticket to Greece already!”
“It’s not a ticket. It’s just a message.”
“From a Greek man. Who owns olive trees. That’s basically a Nicholas Sparks novel in sandals.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“Rosemary, I can’t just run off like that. This isn’t a trip to IKEA. This is a man. In a foreign country. He might be a bot from Pinterest, for all I know.”
Rosemary rolled her eyes. “Let’s be smart about this. Ask him for pictures—of his garden, the view from his house, I don’t care. If he’s fake, it’ll show.”
“And if he’s not?”
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“Then you pack your swimsuit and fly.”
I laughed, but wrote to him. He replied within the hour. The photos came in like a soft breeze.
The first showed a crooked stone path lined with lavender. The second—a little donkey with sleepy eyes standing. The third—a whitewashed house with blue shutters and a faded green chair.
And then… a final photo. A plane ticket. My name on it. Flight in four days.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
I stared at the screen like it was a magic trick. I blinked twice. Still there.
“Is this happening? Is this actually… real?”
“Let me see! Oh, God! Of course, real, silly! Pack your bags,” Rosemary exclaimed.
“Nope. Nope. I’m not going. At my age? Flying into the arms of a stranger? This is how people end up in documentaries!”
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Rosemary didn’t say anything at first. Just kept chewing her pizza.
Then she sighed. “Okay. I get it. It’s a lot.”
I nodded, hugging my arms around myself.
***
That night, after she left, I was curled on the couch under my favorite blanket when my phone buzzed.
Text from Rosemary: “Imagine! I got an invitation too! Flying to my Jean in Bordeaux. Yay!”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“Jean?” I frowned. “She never even mentioned a Jean.”
I stared at the message for a long time.
Then, I got up, walked to my desk, and opened the dating site. I had an irresistible desire to write to him, to thank him and accept his proposition. But the screen was empty.
His profile—gone. Our messages—gone. Everything—gone.
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He must’ve removed his account. Probably thought I ghosted him. But I still had the address. He had sent it in one of the early messages. I’d scribbled it on the back of a grocery receipt.
Moreover, I had the photo. And the plane ticket.
If not now, then when? If not me—then who?
I walked to the kitchen, poured a cup of tea, and whispered into the night,
“Screw it. I’m going to Greece.”
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***
As I stepped off the ferry in Paros, the sun hit me like a soft, warm slap.
The air smelled different. Not like home. There, it was saltier. Wilder. I pulled my little suitcase behind me—it thumped like a stubborn child refusing to be dragged through adventure.
Past sleepy cats stretched on windowsills like they’d ruled the island for centuries. Past grandmothers in black scarves were sweeping their doorsteps.
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I followed the blue dot on my phone screen. My heart pounded like it hadn’t in years.
What if he’s not there? What if it’s all a weird dream, and I’m standing in front of a stranger’s house in Greece?
I paused at the gate. Deep breath. Shoulders back. My fingers hovered over the bell. Ding. The door creaked open.
Wait… What?! No way! Rosemary!
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Barefoot. Wearing a flowing white dress. Her lipstick was fresh. Her hair was curled into soft waves. She looked like a yogurt commercial came to life.
“Rosemary? Weren’t you supposed to be in France?”
She tilted her head like a curious cat.
“Hello,” she purred. “You came? Oh, darling, that’s so unlike you! You said you weren’t flying. So I decided… to take the chance.”
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“You’re pretending to be me?”
“Technically, I created your account. Taught you everything. You were my… project. I just went to the final presentation.”
“But… how? Andreas’s account disappeared. And the messages, too.”
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“Oh, I saved the address, deleted your messages, and removed Andreas from your friends. Just in case you changed your mind. I didn’t know you knew how to save photos or the ticket.”
I wanted to scream. To cry. To slam the suitcase down and yell. But I didn’t. Just then, another shadow moved toward the door.
Andreas…
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“Hi, ladies.” He looked from me to her.
Rosemary immediately latched onto him, grabbing his arm.
“This is my friend Rosemary. She just happened to come. We told you about her, remember?”
“I came because of your invitation. But…”
He looked at me. His eyes were dark like the sea waves.
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“Well… that’s strange. Martha already arrived earlier, but…”
“I’m Martha!” I blurted.
Rosemary chirped sweetly.
“Oh, Andreas, my friend just got a bit anxious about me leaving. She always babysat me. So she must’ve flown here to check if everything’s fine—and you’re not a scammer.”
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Andreas was clearly charmed by Rosemary. He laughed at her antics.
“Alright then… Stay. You can figure things out. We’ve got enough room here.”
Whatever magic was supposed to be there—it had been hijacked…
My friend was playing against me. But I had a chance to stay and set things straight. Andreas deserved the truth, even if it wasn’t as sparkling as Rosemary.
“I’ll stay,” I smiled, accepting the rules of Rosemary’s game.
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***
Dinner was delicious, the view was perfect, and the mood—tight, like Rosemary’s silk blouse after a croissant.
She was all smiles and giggles, filling the air with her voice like perfume with nowhere else to go.
“Andreas, do you have any grandkids?” Rosemary purred.
Finally! There it was. My chance.
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I set down my fork slowly, looked up with the calmest face I could manage, and said, “Didn’t he tell you he has a grandson named Richard?”
Rosemary’s face flickered, just for a second. Then she lit up.
“Oh, right! Your… Richard!”
I smiled politely.
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“Oh, Andreas,” I added, looking straight at him, “but you don’t have a grandson. It’s a granddaughter. Rosie. She wears pink hair ties and loves drawing cats on the walls. And her favorite donkey—what’s his name again? Oh, that’s right. ‘Professor.'”
The table went quiet. Andreas turned to look at Rosemary. She froze, then let out a nervous chuckle.
“Andreas,” she said softly, trying to sound playful, “I think Rosemary is joking strangely. You know my memory…”
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Her hand reached for her glass, and I noticed it trembled.
Mistake one. But I am not done.
“And Andreas, don’t you share the same hobby as Martha? It’s so sweet how you both enjoy the same things.”
Rosemary frowned for a moment… then lit up. “Oh yes! Antique shops! Andreas, that’s wonderful. What was your latest find? I bet this island has tons of little treasures!”
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Andreas set down his fork.
“There are no antique shops here. And I’m not into antiques.”
Mistake number two. Rosemary is on the hook now. I continue.
“Of course, Andreas. You restore old furniture. You told me the last thing you made was a beautiful table still in your garage. Remember you’re supposed to sell it to a woman down the street?”
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Andreas frowned, then turned to Rosemary.
“You’re not Martha. How did I not see this right away? Show me your passport, please.”
She tried to laugh it off. “Oh, come on, don’t be dramatic…”
But passports don’t joke. A minute later, everything was on the table like the check at a restaurant. No surprises. Just an unpleasant truth.
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“I’m sorry,” Andreas said softly, turning back to Rosemary. “But I didn’t invite you.”
Rosemary’s smile cracked. She stood up fast.
“Real Martha’s boring! She’s quiet, always thinking things through, and never improvises! With her, it’ll feel like living in a museum!”
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“That’s exactly why I fell for her. For her attention to detail. For the pauses. For not rushing into things: because she wasn’t chasing thrills, she was seeking truth.”
“Oh, I just seized the moment to build happiness!” Rosemary yelled. “Martha was too slow and less invested than I was.”
“You cared more about the itinerary than the person,” Andreas replied. “You asked about the size of the house, the internet speed, the beaches. Martha… she knows what color ribbons Rosie wears.”
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Rosemary huffed and grabbed her bag.
“Well, suit yourself! But you’ll run from her in three days. You’ll get tired of the silence. And the buns daily.”
She stormed around the house like a hurricane, stuffing clothes into her suitcase with the fury of a tornado in heels. Then—slam. The door shook in its frame.
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Andreas and I just sat there on the terrace. The sea whispered in the distance. The night wrapped around us like a soft shawl.
We drank herbal tea without a word.
“Stay for a week,” he said after a while.
I looked at him. “What if I never want to leave?”
“Then we’ll buy another toothbrush.”
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And the following week…
We laughed. We baked buns. We picked olives with sticky fingers. We walked along the shore, not saying much.
I didn’t feel like a guest. I didn’t feel like someone passing through. I felt alive. And I felt… at home.
Andreas asked me to stay a bit longer. And I… wasn’t in a rush to go back.
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