While celebrating a new life and transitioning into a new role, a mother found herself struggling to get a moment alone after she welcomed her daughter. A time that was meant to be exciting for her and her husband led to them having a big fight over their parenting roles.
In the whirlwind of joy and exhaustion in the early days of parenthood, a mother found herself longing for a mere moment of quietness and alone time. She took to Reddit to share her frustrations. She started off by explaining that she had only had her child for two weeks. Her daughter was strictly breastfeeding, but in addition to cluster feeding, she realized her daughter found comfort in being close to her.
A mother holding her new born | Source: Shutterstock
This meant that her new role allowed her little to no time alone. “I’ve showered once by myself since having her, and it only lasted long enough for me to soap up before she was crying and my husband was bringing her into the bathroom with me. I think I literally had all of 2-3 minutes,” she wrote.
On the contrary, she noticed her husband’s life had not changed. He still got to have long and uninterrupted showers every day but never understood why his showers frustrated his wife.
Each time she was in the shower, and the baby would cry, her husband would bring their newborn to her to calm her down. It made her angry that he did not even try to calm the baby down on his own, but his excuse was that the child loved showers, and seeing her cry hurt him deeply.
A mother with her baby | Source: Shutterstock
As sweet as his fears sounded, the Redditor still needed to find a way to get a full self-care routine without a baby being handed over to her. So, she decided to call in help. She asked her mother to watch her daughter as she showered. Her husband was not there when she reached out to her child’s grandmother, but when he arrived, he asked what his mother-in-law was doing at their house.
Surprisingly, he was angry at his wife’s decision to call her mother just to take a shower. “I could have watched her. Why would you do that?” he asked, to which the Redditor responded, “Every time you watch her while I shower, she ends up in here with me within 2 minutes of me being in here because you don’t even try to calm her down.”
A mother with her baby | Source: Shutterstock
Therefore, after five days of trying to shave her legs, she could not wait to enjoy the warm water hitting her body and relaxing her muscles. “I need to self-care,” the Redditor emphasized.
The original poster’s honest account of her experience as a new mother erupted in a chorus of voices from commenters sharing their own experiences and offering support. One commenter challenged the husband’s logic and suggested, “If, according to hubby, showers calm her down, why isn’t he taking her on his 30-60 minute showers?”
A mother looking stressed with her child | Source: Shutterstock
Another suggestion was for the OP to lock the door as a temporary solution and to teach her husband a lesson on respecting someone’s privacy. Another Reddit user said the husband made himself look bad in front of his mother-in-law, but it was time he realized that he could also parent his daughter without always running to his wife.
The discussion took a deeper dive into the dynamics of communication and support within the relationship. Commenters pointed out the absurdity that the husband had been more concerned about his wife calling her mother rather than making sure that his wife’s well-being was attended to. “You found a way around it. And now, even knowing how hard it’s been for you, he’s still not actually concerned about you; he’s just worried about how it looks to your mum,” remarked a commenter.
A man sitting next to a crib looking stressed | Source: Shutterstock
One mother said her husband once interrupted her hair appointment but she had a serious conversation with him and made him look back at the number of haircuts he had had since their baby arrived. She told him never to interrupt her alone time unless it was an emergency, so the commenter advised the OP to have the same stern conversation with her husband.
A couple fighting | Source: Shutterstock
Another commenter shared a personal story of how her husband had slacked at the beginning of their parenting journey and how she eventually found a way to work as a team. The mother said her baby was a bit fussy on the first night home and she would always take the lead and calm her down.
But after three days, she put on earplugs and requested her husband only wake her up when the baby needed a feed and let her partner take care of the baby during the night, which led to a more equitable parenting dynamic.
The commenter added that allocating responsibilities helped them both understand the difficulty and joy of caring for a newborn, but it also allowed them to foster empathy and understanding. “That night, my partner became an equal parent,” the commenter added.
Here is a story about a newborn who cried nonstop no matter what the parents did. But they eventually realized the answer to their child’s misery was in the crib.
‘Outdated, punishing rules’ – Mom fights for son, 8, to keep his long hair despite schools rejecting him
We can all connect to school regulations, even though our recollections of school can be both happy and sad. It’s a turbulent time filled with highs and lows.
While some regulations, such as prohibiting jewelry during sporting events, make sense, it seems wasteful of resources and misses educational opportunities for the children engaged to send someone home with excessive makeup or because they brought in a particular soda.
Schools’ stringent policies on children’s appearance frequently conflict with the moments in their lives when they desire to stand out and express themselves.
These regulations may have gone too far for one mother and her kid and may have prevented an 8-year-old boy from receiving a quality education.
Model scouts are drawn to Farouk James of London, England, because of his gorgeous head of hair. He’s done photo sessions in Italy and New York and is currently employed as a child model.
However, his look has only caused problems for him in the classroom; because of the length of his hair, he has been turned down by several schools.
James’s mother, Bonnie Miller, claims that she was informed that her older brother’s hair was too short while he was in school.
According to Bonnie, Farouk’s father is from Ghana, and his parents didn’t cut his hair until he was three years old due to cultural customs.
Bonnie told CBS News, “At that point, he was attached— and so was I, to be honest— with his beautiful hair.” “We only retained the hair.”
The family resides in the UK, where the majority of schools have a regulation prohibiting boys from having long hair, even if girls are permitted to.
According to Bonnie, it is against children’s human rights to have them cut their hair.
His mother Bonnie posted on Instagram, saying, “I will not give up trying to persuade governments to put legislation in place to protect children from these outdated, punishing rules.”
“You reject Farok even though he hasn’t done anything wrong! When his friends are all admitted to the universities he so much wants to attend, he will have to say goodbye to them.
Bonnie even created a Change.org petition to outlaw hair prejudice in the United Kingdom as a result of this circumstance.
Bonnie declared, “We’re assembling a real team and dubbed it the Mane Generation.” “We will battle this until these regulations are altered. And it’s not limited to the United Kingdom; it’s worldwide.
With over a quarter of a million followers, Farouk’s mother runs an Instagram account that highlights his life as a playful boy and child model.
But even with all the love and support he receives on the internet, they continue to get hate mail. Following her discussion of the family’s effort to find a school that will accept Farouk and his hair on the well-known U.K. TV morning show “This Morning,” Bonnie claimed she received a lot of harsh feedback.
Bonnie remarked in May of last year, “This is mental health week, so I’m surprised to be receiving lots of negative comments about Farouk’s hair.”
“Farouk does not keep his hair long at my request, but it is a God-given aspect of him, and he will not cut it to please anyone.”
Bonnie contends that since many schools forbid braids and dreadlocks, the dress codes for boys and girls in schools are antiquated and occasionally discriminatory.
The mother promises that she will never give up on getting acceptance for Farouk, his hair, and all the other kids who face prejudice for wishing to show their identity and cultural background.
Farouk’s hair is an integral part of who he is, and in 2022, it will not be acceptable for those entrusted with our children’s education to reject a child because of the color of their hair. These regulations ought to be outlawed.
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