When my husband passed away, I thought grief would be my hardest battle. I was wrong. His ex-wife, Camila, turned my loss into her opportunity, DEMANDING I PAY ALL HER BILLS. Her relentless greed drained me, but I never imagined it would lead to her BIGGEST REGRET one day.
Grief doesn’t come in neat little packages. It’s messy, raw, and relentless. When Joseph — my husband, partner, and best friend — passed away two weeks before Christmas, it felt like the world had been ripped from under me. I had Nathan, our 15-year-old son, to think about. But most days, even breathing felt impossible.
A grieving woman holding a man’s framed photo | Source: Midjourney
Joseph was the kind of man who brought light to every room. He loved fiercely and gave generously, even to people who didn’t deserve it… like his ex-wife, Camila. They had one son together, Marcus, but Camila had three other children from different relationships.
Joseph, being the man he was, made sure to treat all four kids like his own. Birthdays, holidays, school events — he was always there, always giving, and caring.
The day after the funeral, I got an email from Camila. At first, I thought it might be condolences, but of course, that would’ve been too much to expect. Instead, it was a CHRISTMAS LIST. She wanted gifts for her kids, claiming, “It’s what Joseph would’ve wanted.”
A woman holding a cellphone | Source: Midjourney
When my phone rang moments later, I knew it was her. Her voice dripped with a false sympathy that made my skin crawl.
“Wendy, darling,” Camila’s tone was saccharine sweet, “I hope you’re not overwhelmed by that list. Joseph always made sure my kids were taken care of during Christmas.”
I gripped the phone tighter, my knuckles turning white. “Camila, I’m barely holding myself together right now.”
She let out a calculated laugh. “Well, it’s not the children’s fault! They shouldn’t suffer just because Joseph isn’t here to help anymore.”
“Camila, you don’t understand. He just passed and—” I desperately voiced, but she cut me off.
“Oh, come now. Joseph would want you to honor his memory by continuing his traditions. Those children are expecting their gifts. You wouldn’t want to disappoint them, would you?”
A woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
The manipulation was transparent, yet it cut deep. “These are your children, too,” I whispered, my voice breaking.
“They’re JOSEPH’S children,” she corrected sharply. “Well, Marcus is. But the others… they’ve grown to love him so much. And you know how much he loved them all. I’m sure you want to prove what a good stepmother you can be. After all, he married you knowing I would always be in the picture.”
I should’ve ignored her. I should’ve said no. But then I thought about the kids. It wasn’t their fault. So, I swallowed my pride, and through tears, I went shopping for their gifts, together with my son.
Christmas came and went in a blur of grief and forced smiles. But Camila wasn’t done. Her demands became a relentless cascade, each request more audacious than the last.
A cheerful woman with a pile of gift boxes | Source: Midjourney
By February, it was piano lessons. When she called, her voice was a calculated blend of sweetness and authority. “Wendy, darling, Joseph always wanted Marcus to have music lessons. You wouldn’t want to disappoint his son, would you?”
I closed my eyes, feeling the weight of her manipulation. “Camila, I’m struggling to keep things together—”
“The kids shouldn’t have to miss out,” she interrupted. “Think about what Joseph would want.”
By Easter, it was summer camp fees. Her call came with surgical precision. “These experiences are so important for children’s development. Joseph always believed in giving kids opportunities.”
“I can’t keep doing this,” I whispered.
“Oh, Wendy,” she laughed, “you know Joseph would be heartbroken if his children missed out because of financial constraints.”
A frustrated woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
Then came the moment that broke something inside me. One day, she called, her voice dripping with honey. “Wendy, I hate to ask, but my back has been killing me. The doctor says surgery could help me be a better mom. The medical bills are astronomical, and with Joseph gone…”
Her pause was deliberate, weighted with expectation.
Of course, I paid. What else could I do? Nathan watched me, his eyes filled with pity and frustration. “Mom, why do you keep giving her money?” he’d asked once. I had no answer.
But weeks later, I stumbled across her Facebook post:
“Lipo & a tummy tuck done! Feeling FABULOUS! 🥳💃🏻“
I gripped my phone so hard, I thought it might shatter. She’d used my money for PLASTIC SURGERY. Not a medical procedure, not something for her children, but pure vanity. I felt sick, the betrayal cutting deeper than any knife.
A shocked woman holding a phone | Source: Midjourney
Nathan walked in and saw my expression. “Mom?” he asked cautiously. “What’s wrong?”
And in that moment, something inside me began to shift. A resolve. An anger.
Still, I didn’t stop helping Camila. There were kids involved — kids who came to me with scraped knees and teenage heartbreaks. Kids who hugged me tight and called me “Aunt Wendy.” They weren’t responsible for their mother’s schemes.
But then, a new demand landed in my inbox shortly after: a trip to Paris for her and the kids. The email was a masterpiece of manipulation. She sweetly reminded me, “Joseph always believed in family vacations. He wouldn’t have let the kids go without one.”
Close-up shot of a woman holding a smartphone | Source: Midjourney
I sat with that email for hours, my frustration boiling over. Nathan was battling leukemia at the time. Medical bills were drowning me, treatments were astronomical, and every single penny was a fight for survival.
The last thing I could afford was funding my husband’s ex’s extravagant getaway.
When I finally called her, my voice shook with anger and desperation. “Camila, I can’t do this anymore. I’m barely keeping my head above water as it is.”
Her laugh was cold and calculated. “Barely keeping your head above water? Oh, Wendy, you forget I know exactly how much life insurance Joseph left you. This is pocket change for you.”
A smiling woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
“Pocket change?” I almost screamed. “I’m spending every cent on Nathan’s treatment. He’s fighting for his life!”
Her tone hardened immediately. “So, the kids should suffer because of your POOR PLANNING? Wow, Wendy, I expected better from you. Joseph would be so disappointed.”
The mention of Joseph’s name was a punch to my gut.
“You have no shame,” I whispered.
“I have four children to think about,” she retorted. “What would people say if they knew you — Joseph’s wife — refused to help his children?”
I hung up and tears of frustration burned my eyes.
An emotional woman lost in deep thought | Source: Midjourney
But as the days passed, the guilt gnawed at me. I could hear Joseph’s voice in my head, urging me to do what I could for the kids. His kindness, his generosity… they were weapons Camila knew how to wield perfectly.
Against my better judgment, I paid for the trip, hoping and PRAYING that this would be the last of her demands.
Of course, it wasn’t.
Nathan’s battle with leukemia was brutal. Chemo, hospital stays, and sleepless nights consumed every part of me. But even then, Camila’s relentless demands didn’t stop. She was like a vulture, circling, and waiting to pick at whatever remained of my willpower.
A sick boy in the hospital | Source: Midjourney
“Wendy, I need help with groceries,” she’d say, her voice dripping with false vulnerability.
“Wendy, the kids need new laptops for school,” another call would come.
“Wendy, our washing machine broke,” she’d whine, as if the world would end without my intervention.
Each call came with a new crisis, each one tugging at my frayed patience. The subtext was always clear: Joseph would have helped. Joseph always provided. Joseph would be disappointed in me.
A phone on a table flashing an incoming call | Source: Midjourney
I kept helping, telling myself it was for the kids. But with each request, a part of me died. A part of me resented the memory of Joseph’s infinite kindness that Camila so ruthlessly exploited.
And then, she pushed too far. “Wendy,” she said one day, her tone annoyingly casual, like she was asking for sugar, “we need help remodeling the kitchen. It’s falling apart.”
Something inside me snapped.
“Camila, I’m NOT funding your HGTV dreams. I can barely afford Nathan’s treatments!”
The silence that followed was electric.
She gasped, a performance of pure outrage. “I can’t believe how SELFISH you’ve become. Joseph would be ASHAMED.”
Those words. Always those words.
A furious woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
“Joseph is DEAD,” I said, the words feeling like broken glass in my mouth. “And you’ve been treating his memory like a credit card.”
Her gasp was theatrical. “How dare you—”
“No,” I interrupted, “how dare YOU? For years, you’ve manipulated me, guilt-tripped me, and drained every resource I have while my son fights for his life.”
She tried to interject, but I was done.
“I’m sorry, Camila,” I said coldly, each word precise and cutting. “I can’t help you anymore.” And I hung up.
She called back, left voicemails that grew increasingly desperate, and sent emails that ranged from manipulative to outright threatening. But I ignored her. Nathan needed me more than her fabricated crises.
A boy lying down in a hospital bed | Source: Midjourney
Several weeks passed. Thankfully, my son won his fight with leukemia, but Camila wasn’t so lucky. Her extravagant spending and piling debts finally caught up with her. Her new husband (an aspiring musician who contributed nothing to the household) left, creditors circled, and her life imploded.
She tried reaching out to me, sending long, teary emails about how hard things were. She even called, begging for help. But I didn’t respond.
Through it all, her kids drifted toward me. They saw the truth about their mother, and saw who had been there for them all along. They started calling me “Mom.” And while Camila’s world crumbled, mine grew stronger.
A frustrated woman yelling | Source: Midjourney
Ten years flew by. On Christmas Eve, I found myself in a hospital bed recovering from heart surgery. The kids — Nathan and all four of Camila’s — had promised to visit, but I didn’t expect much. They were busy with their own lives now.
Then my phone rang. It was Camila.
I hesitated but answered. “Hello?”
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” She shrieked.
“Excuse me?”
“You turned my children against me!”
“Camila, I don’t understand what you’re talking about…”
But then the door burst open, and her oldest son, Marcus, swiftly took the phone from my hand. His touch was gentle, but his eyes burned with a protective fury I’d never seen before.
A startled woman engaged in a phone call | Source: Midjourney
“Mom, you need to rest. We’ll talk to her later,” he said, his tone leaving no room for argument as he ended the call. The way he said “her” made it clear he was distancing himself from any maternal connection to Camila.
Four of my “foster” kids and my Nathan crowded into my hospital room, their faces radiant with love and warmth. Marcus stepped forward first, setting down an elaborate bouquet of white roses that looked carefully chosen. The younger ones followed, their arms filled with colorful balloons that bobbed and danced with their movement.
“We wouldn’t miss this for the world, Mom,” Nathan said.
“Oh, my darlings!” I exclaimed, tears welling up in my eyes. “You shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble!”
An emotional woman | Source: Midjourney
They surrounded my bed in a massive group hug, their collective embrace feeling like a shield of love and protection. The youngest, tears glistening in her eyes, whispered, “We’re family. We take care of each other.”
Marcus squeezed my hand. “Christmas isn’t Christmas without you. So we’re taking you home.”
The others nodded in unison.
That evening, they whisked me home. We sat around the fireplace, sharing stories and memories.
“What happened to your mother?” I asked cautiously. “She sounded so furious when she called.”
They exchanged glances before Marcus spoke up. “After you stopped supporting her, she tried to guilt us into giving her money. She even said, ‘You owe me. I raised you!’” He shook his head. “We stopped answering her calls.”
A frustrated young man | Source: Pexels
“She’s become desperate,” another added. “Calling old friends and distant relatives, trying to get money.”
“She tried to sue a cosmetic surgeon,” another chimed in, laughing. “But that didn’t go well.”
The youngest looked at me, her eyes deep with emotion. “We learned what real love looks like from you. Not from her.”
“She saw people as transactions,” Marcus added, squeezing my hand gently. “You showed us that love has no price tag.”
“She’s alone now,” another said softly. “But we’re here, Mom. We’re with you.”
A distressed teenage girl | Source: Pexels
I looked around the table, my heart brimming with joy and peace. Christmas isn’t about gifts or obligations. It’s about the family you build, and the people who choose to stay, love, and grow with you.
For the first time in years, I felt truly at peace. As for Camila, I really don’t care about her now. She can live with her regrets, but I hope that someday, she realizes the depth of the damage she’s done to herself by being greedy and manipulative.
An emotional, teary-eyed senior woman | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
How to Own Your Dream Home
For most people, their first home isn’t their dream home. It starts off nice enough. But as time goes by and your family grows, starter homes tend to get a little . . . cramped.
But don’t hate on your current home too much. Because while it gave you a safe and dry place to lay your head at night, it was also setting you up to own your dream home someday.
We’ll show you how it all works and walk you through the steps that’ll get you in your dream home—one you can actually afford!
How to Get Your Dream Home in 5 Steps
Here are the steps:
- Follow the Financial Basics
- Find Out How Much Equity You Have
- Set Your New Home-Buying Budget
- Find the Right Dream Home for You
- Be Picky and Patient
Now let’s cover each step in more detail.
Step 1: Follow the Financial Basics
First thing’s first—you have to get out of debt, get on a budget, and build up an emergency fund of 3–6 months of expenses. Sounds pretty basic, right? If you haven’t completed these steps, then you’re not ready to upgrade to your dream home . . . yet.
Now, when you’ve got house fever, it can be hard to focus on paying off debt or saving an emergency fund before you upgrade your home—especially when you’re feeling the pressure of rising home prices and interest rates.
But whether it’s your second or third house, you should only buy a home when you’ve covered the financial basics we mentioned above. Then you’ll be ready to start the journey toward owning your dream house.
And that journey starts with your home equity. What’s equity? Well, we’re glad you asked . . . that brings us to the next step.
Step 2: Find Out How Much Equity You Have
Home equity is a pretty simple concept: It’s your current home’s value minus whatever you still owe on your mortgage.
See, in most cases, your home’s value increases over time. Similar to other long-term investments (like retirement accounts), homes gradually increase in value. There have been periods of ups and downs in the market to be sure, but the value of real estate has consistently gone up. According to the St. Louis Federal Reserve, the average sale price of a home has increased over 2,300% from 1965 to 2023! And in the last ten years (2013 to 2023), there’s been a 68% increase.1 As your home increases in value, so does your equity. In real estate terms, this is called appreciation.
Other factors that increase your home’s equity include:
- Added value: Home improvement projects like adding square footage, updating fixtures and appliances, or even just slapping on a new coat of paint can add value to your home.
- Mortgage paydown: Paying down your mortgage not only gets you out of debt faster, it also builds your equity. The less you owe on your home, the more equity you have.
The amount of equity you have gives you a pretty good idea of how much money you’ll end up with after selling your house. You can use that money to make a hefty down payment and cover the other costs that come with buying a home.
Find expert agents to help you buy your home.
So, how do you determine your home’s value? Well, you can get a ballpark estimate on real estate websites like Zillow, ask a trusted real estate agent to perform a competitive market analysis (which they’ll do anyway if they’re helping you sell your house), or get a professional appraisal.
Finding out your home’s equity will involve a little math, but it’s third-grade-level stuff, so don’t sweat it.
Here’s what we mean. Let’s say your home’s current value is $355,000. When you sell that house, you’ll have to pay for between 1–3% of the sale price in closing costs, another 6% in fees for the real estate agent who helped you sell it, and whatever’s left to pay off on your mortgage.
That means you can estimate clearing over $223,000 from selling your house. That’s a killer down payment on your dream home! And if your home is paid off, that’s even more money to put down and use to pay for things like repairs and moving expenses.
Step 3: Set Your Dream Home Budget
Once you know how much you’ll clear from the sale of your home, you can start making a budget for your dream home.
The key to owning your dream home (instead of it owning you) is to keep your mortgage payment to no more than 25% of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage, along with paying a down payment of at least 20% to avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI). Never get a 30-year mortgage even if the bank offers it (and they will). You’d pay a fortune in interest—money that should go toward building your wealth, not the bank’s.
So, let’s say your take-home pay is $4,800 a month. That means your monthly mortgage payment shouldn’t be any bigger than $1,200. By the way, that 25% figure should also include other home fees collected every month with the mortgage payment like homeowners association (HOA) fees, insurance premiums and property taxes.
Plug your numbers into our mortgage calculator to see how much house you can afford.
And don’t forget to budget for all those other costs that come with the home-buying process in addition to your closing fees—things like moving expenses and any upgrades or repairs you might need to make. You don’t want these hidden costs to catch you off guard or drain your emergency fund.
Step 4: Find the Right Dream Home for You
This is where things get real. After all your hard work building up your equity (and doing a lot of math—don’t forget that), you’re finally ready to start the house hunt. Woo-hoo!
But don’t lose focus. Stay zoned in by making a list of features that make a home fit your budget, lifestyle and dreams—and stick to it throughout your house hunt. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
- Don’t compromise on location and layout. If you plan to be in this home for the long haul, an out-of-the-way neighborhood or a wacky floor plan is a deal breaker. Look for a community and layout that’ll suit your lifestyle now and for years to come.
- Think about how much space your family needs. While your budget has the final say about how much home you buy, you’ll want your dream home to fit your family’s needs through different life seasons.
- Consider the school districts. If you have or want kids, the quality of the nearby school districts is probably already on your mind. But even if you don’t have kids or you’re retired, keep in mind that having good schools nearby could increase your home’s value.
- Look for a house that’ll grow in value. Are home values rising in the area? Is the number of businesses going up? These factors can help you figure out whether your dream home will turn into a good investment.
- Count the costs. Want that fancy master bathroom with the multiple showerheads and the Jacuzzi tub? Be clear on what’s a must-have and what’s nice to have. And don’t forget, upgraded features like that will make your dream home more expensive.
Step 5: Be Picky and Patient
We know you’re anxious to get into those new digs, but be patient. Wait for the right house at the right time. Don’t spend your money on a less-than-ideal home just because you’re tired of looking.
The key is finding a good real estate agent who understands your budget and refuses to settle for “good enough.” They’re as committed to your dream as you are and will have your back throughout the entire process, no matter what it takes.
In addition to teaming up with a great real estate agent, you can take a couple of extra steps to make sure you’re ready to strike as soon as the right home comes up:
- Get preapproved for a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage. Having preapproved financing is a green flag for sellers—especially in multiple offer situations. And because this puts most of your information in the lender’s system, you’ll be on the fast track to closing once your offer is accepted.
- Offer earnest money with your bid. Earnest money is a deposit to show you’re truly interested in a home. Usually it’s 1–2% of the home’s purchase price and it’s applied to your down payment or closing costs. Even if the deal falls through, you can almost always get most of it back.
Find a Real Estate Expert in Your Local Market
Now, you might be thinking you have some work to do before you’re ready to find your dream home. Or you may be realizing your years of hard work are about to pay off! Regardless, if you follow these steps, you’ll find the house you’ve always wanted and avoid a purchase you’ll regret.
Once you’re ready, connect with one of our RamseyTrusted real estate agents. These are high-performing agents who do business the Ramsey way and share your values so you can rest easy knowing the search for your dream home is in the right hands.
Find the only real estate agents in your area we trust, and start the hunt for your dream home!
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