A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
My BIL Destroyed Our House While We Were on Vacation – Karma Got Him Before We Could Confront Him
The moment I saw our front door ajar and trash scattered across the porch, I knew something was horribly wrong. But nothing could have prepared me for the chaos inside or the wild turn of events that followed.
I sat at the edge of the bed, staring out the window, letting the soft hum of the city fill the silence. My husband, Ethan, was busy packing our suitcases in the other room, but my mind was elsewhere. I couldn’t stop thinking about how different our lives were compared to his brother, Stan.
A thoughtful woman staring out the window of her room | Source: Midjourney
Ethan and I had built our life from the ground up. We weren’t rich, but we weren’t struggling either. We had this modest, cozy house, a place we’d filled with love and countless memories. It was our sanctuary.
Despite coming from a wealthy family, Ethan had always wanted to make his own way in the world. He worked hard, never asking for handouts, not even when his father, Howard, practically begged him to join the family business.
A middle-aged businessman standing in his office | Source: Midjourney
Stan, on the other hand, well, he was another story entirely. He thrived on the luxuries that came with their father’s money. I mean, Stan had never even had a real job outside of working for their dad.
And even there, he didn’t really “work.” He just showed up, smiled, and enjoyed the perks of being the boss’s son. Fancy cars, exclusive parties, designer clothes. He loved it all.
But it wasn’t just the material things. Stan was reckless. He had this sense of entitlement that bordered on delusion. If he wanted something, he took it; no questions asked.
An entitled man standing next to his fancy car | Source: Midjourney
I sighed, pushing those thoughts away. Ethan poked his head into the room. “You ready?” he asked, zipping up the last suitcase.
“Almost,” I said, forcing a smile. “Just thinking about how nice it will be to get away for a bit. We both need this.”
He smiled back. “Yeah, we really do.”
We were about to leave for a week-long vacation. A rare escape from our everyday lives.
A closeup of a person putting a passport in a black bag | Source: Pexels
It was the first time we’d been away for this long in years, and we’d trusted Stan with our house. Just a simple favor: feed the cat, water the plants, and check the mail. I wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea, but Ethan insisted.
“Stan will be fine,” he’d said a few days ago, sensing my hesitation. “It’s not a big deal. He can handle it.”
I had my doubts, but what could go wrong in a week?
But when we pulled into the driveway seven days later, my stomach dropped.
A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney
The front door was slightly ajar, and there were cans, bottles, and trash littering the porch.
“Ethan…” I whispered, gripping his arm. “What happened?”
His face darkened. Without a word, he pushed open the door, and we stepped inside. The air smelled sour: a mix of stale beer, smoke, and something burnt. I blinked, trying to make sense of the scene in front of me.
The living room was unrecognizable. Furniture was overturned, broken glass crunched beneath our feet, and dirty dishes were scattered everywhere.
An extremely messed up living room | Source: Midjourney
The walls? They were smeared with what looked like food: pizza sauce, mustard, and who knows what else.
“What the hell?” Ethan’s voice trailed off as he moved further into the house. “Stan! What did you do?”
I followed him into the kitchen, and that’s when I saw it — the blackened stove, the melted cabinets. Something had exploded. There was no doubt about it.
“First of all, congrats on getting a new house.”
“Ethan,” I gasped, “this is insane!”
He ran his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth. “How could he do this? He was supposed to just watch the house, not throw a frat party!”
A closeup shot of an angry man | Source: Midjourney
I grabbed my phone, fingers trembling as I dialed Stan’s number. It went straight to voicemail. I called again. Nothing.
“Stan!” Ethan yelled into the void. “Answer your freakin’ phone!”
Panic bubbled inside me as I watched Ethan try to piece together what had happened. We had trusted him. “We need answers,” I muttered, pulling up my mother-in-law’s number.
She picked up on the second ring. “Aubrey, honey, how was your trip?” she asked, her voice calm and sweet, oblivious to the storm brewing on our end.
A woman using her phone | Source: Midjourney
“Celeste,” I interrupted, “do you know where Stan is? We just got home, and the house… it’s destroyed!”
I could feel my heart racing as I clutched the phone, waiting for Celeste to explain what on earth had happened to Stan. My mind was running wild with scenarios, but nothing could have prepared me for her next words.
“Oh, you don’t know?” Celeste said, her voice far too calm for the situation. “First of all, congrats on getting a new house, and second, you won’t be seeing Stan for a while because, well, he’s unavailable.”
A middle-aged woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
“Unavailable?” I repeated, not quite understanding. “What do you mean?”
There was a pause before she continued, almost as if she was gathering her thoughts or maybe trying to sugarcoat what she was about to drop on me.
“After one of his infamous parties,” she said, her tone a blend of exasperation and something that almost sounded like relief, “Stan forgot to turn off the gas in your kitchen. It caused a small explosion.”
I felt like the floor had been ripped out from beneath me. “An explosion?! Celeste, our kitchen is destroyed!”
An extremely messed up kitchen | Source: Midjourney
“I know, sweetheart, I know.” She sighed as if talking about a stubborn child who had made yet another mess.
“Your father-in-law found Stan drunk and out of his mind in your house. The explosion wasn’t big, but it scared him enough to finally take action. Stan’s been, let’s just say his days of playing executive are over. Howard’s had enough.”
I pressed the phone harder to my ear, my blood boiling. “What do you mean ‘had enough?’ What exactly did Howard do?”
An angry and stunned woman talking on her phone | Source: Midjourney
Celeste didn’t hesitate this time. “Howard demoted him. Stan’s not going to be his right-hand man anymore. He’s going to be a truck driver for the company. Howard’s sending him on a month-long haul. It’s supposed to teach him some responsibility.”
I blinked, speechless. Ethan stood frozen in the kitchen doorway, staring at me with wide eyes, waiting for me to explain what his mother had just said. “Wait, wait,” I stammered. “He’s sending Stan on a cross-country trip? Driving trucks?”
A closeup shot of a man driving a truck | Source: Midjourney
“Yes,” Celeste replied, and I could hear a hint of satisfaction in her voice. “It’s about time someone put him in his place. I guess that explosion was the final straw.”
Ethan took a step closer, his eyes narrowing in disbelief. “What is she saying?”
I covered the mouthpiece for a second. “Stan’s been demoted to a truck driver,” I whispered, still processing the words myself.
“What?” Ethan’s jaw dropped, his face a combination of shock and anger. “That’s unbelievable.”
A furious man | Source: Midjourney
But Celeste wasn’t done. “Oh, and there’s one more thing, dear. Your father-in-law was planning to buy Stan a new house, you know, something extravagant, as a reward for his work. But after all this mess, he’s decided it’s yours instead. Howard said you two deserve it more.”
I nearly dropped the phone. “What?”
“You heard me right,” Celeste said, her tone softening. “It’s yours. The papers will be sorted out soon. Congratulations, Aubrey.”
A white and gray wooden house | Source: Pexels
I stood there in stunned silence, my hand shaking as I gripped the phone. Ethan looked at me, confusion and hope battling on his face. “What did she say?”
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “The house, the one Howard was going to give to Stan, is ours now.”
Ethan’s eyes widened. “What? Are you serious?”
A man looks a little startled while talking to someone | Source: Midjourney
I nodded slowly. “Yeah, she said we’re getting the house. Karma, I guess.”
For a moment, neither of us spoke. The reality of what had just happened was sinking in.
Stan had trashed our house, left it in ruins, caused an explosion, but somehow, we had come out of it better off. It didn’t make sense, but I wasn’t about to question it.
Ethan finally let out a breath he’d been holding and leaned against the counter. “I can’t believe this. I mean, it’s what he deserves, but I didn’t expect this.”
A depressed and lonely man | Source: Midjourney
“Neither did I.” I shook my head, my mind racing. “I was so angry at him, Ethan. I still am. But this is bigger than that. He’s been living this reckless life for years, and now he has to face the consequences.”
Ethan nodded slowly, the tension in his shoulders starting to ease. “He does. But I still don’t know how we’re supposed to clean this up.” He gestured to the wreckage around us.
I laughed, despite everything, a little hysterical. “Well, at least we have a new house to look forward to.”
A woman laughs hysterically | Source: Midjourney
Ethan cracked a small smile, finally. “Yeah. A new house.” He shook his head in disbelief. “I guess we should call Dad and thank him, huh?”
I exhaled slowly. “Yeah. But first, I think I need to sit down.”
We both collapsed onto the one piece of furniture that wasn’t broken: a chair in the corner. For a minute, we just sat there, surrounded by the mess Stan had made, trying to wrap our heads around what had just unfolded.
Ethan reached over and squeezed my hand. “I guess karma’s got a way of working things out.”
A man smiling faintly | Source: Midjourney
“Yeah,” I said quietly, staring at the chaos around us. “It really does.”
As the shock wore off, I realized that while Stan had wrecked our home, he hadn’t destroyed us. If anything, we were walking away with more than we ever expected. A new house. A fresh start.
And maybe, just maybe, this was the wake-up call Stan needed too.
“Let’s just hope he learns from this,” Ethan muttered.
I nodded, though I wasn’t holding my breath. “We’ll see.”
A loving couple | Source: Midjourney
Do you think karma worked its magic here? Let’s hear your take!
While you’re busy contemplating your response, check out another exciting story: Returning from a blissful Hawaiian vacation, Lisa and her two young children were shocked to find an unwelcome guest comfortably settled in their home. Faced with an uncooperative squatter and little help from the police, Lisa was forced to take drastic measures to reclaim her family’s sanctuary.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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