There are many people who get married despite the fact that critics may doubt their ability to stay married for the long term. This often happens when we get married quickly or perhaps we are young and people don’t think we are yet responsible enough for the bond.
In 1995, there was a young couple who also were doubted but they ended up getting married and they stayed married for 25 years. They also were the first couple with Down syndrome in the UK to become husband and wife.
These days, we hear about people who have Down syndrome getting married on a regular basis. At that time, however, it was unheard of and it was the first time in the world that a couple with Down syndrome said I do.
Just like any other disability, however, those with Down syndrome have the ability to beat the odds, and certainly, that is what Tommy and Maryanne Pilling did. In fact, they are an inspiration to many who wonder if they have what it takes.
Maryanne was born in 1971. Her mother, Linda Martin, provided her with a loving atmosphere at home and she also had a sister who loved her as well. There were still times, however, when she struggled in life and she was even rejected by her father.
Since she was raised in a loving household, however, she grew up to be a very loving woman. It was easy to see in her lively personality.
Tommy was born in 1958 and was an only child. When he was 12 years old, he became an orphan and he grew up in a care home in Essex. He did have delayed development because of a lack of a support system, and he didn’t care much for his physical appearance.
When the two of them met in 1990, they were working in a kitchen in a training home for disabled individuals. He was 32 and she was 19 at the time.
It was easy to see how Maryanne felt about Tommy because she would absolutely light up when she spoke about him. They shared a number of common interests, such as music, cooking, movies, and doing craftwork.
Tommy also loved Elvis Pressley and the two of them would dance together on a regular basis. He would also let her know how much he loved her, and eventually, the family got accustomed to having him around.
18 months after they started dating, he proposed to her and asked her mother for permission to marry her daughter. The mother didn’t hesitate, she gave her blessings right away.
Other people, however, were not quite so positive about the idea of the two of them getting married. Some said that she wasn’t ready for it and some even asked about their sex life.
Despite the fact that they were criticized openly, they got married in 1995. 250 people came to the wedding, which was a fairytale for them.
They lived together with her family for seven years before moving into their own apartment next door. Her sister also moved along with them.
They have a very strong bond because he listens carefully when she speaks. There is never any type of hidden agenda and they love each other with their whole hearts.
Unfortunately, Tommy was hospitalized in 2020 after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and then got COVID. Due to his declining health, he passed away. That was on January 1, 2021.
When the news was broken to her, she seemed to understand but still was a little confused about the situation. We are just glad that they had almost 30 years together, and they loved each other till the end.
I sent daily letters to my son from a nursing home and heard nothing back, until a stranger arrived to take me home
After my son Tyler persuaded me to move into a nursing home, I began writing him daily letters to express how much I missed him. Despite my efforts, he never replied. Then one day, a stranger came to take me home.
When I turned 81, I was diagnosed with osteoporosis, which made it difficult for me to move around without help. This made it hard for Tyler and his wife, Macy, to care for me, so they decided I should go to a nursing home. Tyler told me they couldn’t care for me because of their busy lives and insisted the house I had lived in was too large for just me.
I was heartbroken as I realized their decision was less about my care and more about wanting my house for themselves. That night, I wondered what I had done wrong. I thought I had raised a good son, but his actions felt like a betrayal. Despite my pleas, Tyler and Macy took me to a nearby nursing home, promising to visit often. I hoped that moving there might not be so bad since they would come to see me. Little did I know, Tyler was just trying to get rid of me.
Days turned into years in the nursing home. Although the staff was kind and I enjoyed chatting with other residents, I longed for my family. Without a phone or tablet, I wrote daily letters to Tyler, asking him to visit or update me, but I never received a reply.
After two long years, I lost hope that anyone would come. Each night, I prayed to return home, but I tried not to get my hopes up. One day, however, my nurse told me a man was at the desk asking for me. Excitedly, I grabbed my walker, thinking it might be Tyler.
To my surprise, the man waiting for me was someone I hadn’t seen in years. It was Ron, a childhood friend of Tyler’s who had once lived with us. He greeted me warmly and explained that he had just returned from Europe. When I told him about my situation, he looked concerned and asked me to sit down.
Ron shared that Tyler and Macy had tragically died in a house fire the previous year. He had found their house abandoned and discovered my unread letters in the mailbox. Hearing about Tyler’s death filled me with conflicting emotions; despite my anger towards him, I felt heartbroken.
Ron stayed by my side as I cried, comforting me as I mourned my son and daughter-in-law. He reminded me of how I had taken him in as a child when he was in need. Unlike Tyler, Ron had grown up poor and had lost his parents, but I had treated him like my own. Ron then offered to take me home with him. I couldn’t believe it. My own son had sent me away, and now here was Ron, who wanted to care for me. Gratefully, I accepted his offer.
That night, Ron helped me pack my belongings and took me to his new home. He had a loving family who welcomed me with open arms. In those final years, I found happiness surrounded by people who truly cared for me.
It’s important to respect your elders and recognize their sacrifices. Tyler failed to appreciate all I had done for him and chose convenience over care. Family isn’t solely defined by blood; Ron, despite not being related, remembered my kindness and chose to repay it by taking me in and caring for me.
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