I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
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I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
“You thought what? That I could ‘improve’ myself like some project?” My voice was calm, but the hurt behind it was real. “Jake, marriage isn’t about lists or routines. It’s about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, you’ll be paying a hell of a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
Silence hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable. Jake’s face softened, his shoulders slumping as he let out a deep sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound sensible, but now I see it’s… it’s toxic. Oh God, I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded, watching him carefully. “Yes, you have. Honestly, have you looked at Steve’s life? What makes you think he has the life experience to give you advice about marriage? Or anything else?”
The look on his face as my words hit home was priceless.
“You’re right. And he could never afford to live like this.” He slapped the list with the back of his hand. “He… he has no idea about the costs involved, or how demeaning this is. Oh, Lisa, I got carried away again, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but we’ll recover. Now, let’s tear that paper up and go back to being equals.”
He smiled weakly, the tension breaking just a little. “Yeah… let’s do that.”
We ripped up the list together, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team.
Maybe this was what we needed, a reminder that marriage isn’t about one person being “better” than the other. It’s about being better together.
Grappling with his son’s suicide, Michael Madsen still hopes to find answers
The final text that Reservoir Dogs actor Michael Madsen got from his kid was simply, “I love you dad,” and that was it.
Sergeant stationed in Hawaii who had just completed his first tour when he shot himself in the head, according to his father.
“I am in shock as my son, whom I just spoke with a few days ago, said he was happy–my last text from him was ‘I love you dad,’” Madsen, the star of the Kill Bill franchise, told the LA Times.
“I didn’t see any signs of depression. It’s so tragic and sad. I’m just trying to make sense of everything and understand what happened,” he continued.
The eldest of Madsen’s children with wife DeAnna Madsen was Hudson, whose godfather was Quentin Tarantino. Brothers Kalvin and Luke were the next-oldest children. With his ex-wife Jeannine Bisignano, Madsen has two further boys, Christian and Max.
His wife, Carlie, whom he married in 2019, shared positive social media messages about their relationship. According to Carlie’s social media, the couple was considering IVF because they were unable to conceive naturally.
Carlie uploaded a selfie of herself in a hospital gown to Instagram exactly one week before he passed away on January 22, 2022, stating that she had recently had a tumor removed.
“I just want to give a shout-out to my amazing husband!” she adds in the post. He has been extremely patient throughout the entire procedure. Yesterday, I had surgery to remove a tumor from one of my breasts. Carlie continued, “We were at the hospital for about 7 hours yesterday and while I was in surgery he went to target and got me flowers, comfy pajamas, my favorite candy and a card! He’s also been amazing in helping with my recovery and I’m just so thankful…”
A few of weeks later, she tweeted a cute picture of herself and Hudson along with the simple caption, “I miss you so much.” Everyone was perplexed by the circumstances that led to Hudson’s suicide.
The father, who was 64 at the time, was upset about his suicide and stated, “He had typical life challenges that people have with finances, but he wanted a family,” according to Madsen. He was considering his future, so this is mind-blowing. I simply don’t understand what happened.
The Once Upon a Time in Hollywood actor Madsen also disclosed that his son, who had served in Afghanistan, was dealing with mental health issues behind the scenes of his seeming contentment. The actor stated that his son, who need counseling, stopped seeking assistance because of problems he was keeping to himself.
Madsen asked the military to conduct an investigation because he suspected “that officers and rank and file were shaming,” but the results of the investigation are remained classified.
One month after Hudson committed suicide, Madsen, known for his work on Quentin Tarantino’s bloody comedies, was detained in Malibu at the mansion from which he had just been evicted. Madsen was granted bail after being accused of trespassing.
The actor has a criminal record; according to TMZ, he was charged with child endangerment in 2012 and was charged with DUI in 2019 after wrecking his SUV.
The actor walked into his home, and finding his teenaged son smoking pot, the two got into an argument. TMZ writes, “…Madsen had gotten into a physical fight with his juvenile son–and when cops arrived, they observed several signs of injury on his son. We’re told Madsen also appeared to be under the influence of alcohol at the time of his arrest.” The son’s name was not released, and Madsen was.
The family issued a statement following Hudson’s passing, writing, “We are crushed and overwhelmed with grief and pain at the loss of Hudson. All those who knew and loved him will keep his memories and light in their hearts.
On January 23, 2023, offering a heartfelt tribute to her husband, whom she lovingly calls “Lump,” Carlie writes on her Instagram, “…I don’t even know how it’s been a year without you. It still hurts just as much as it did that day. You’re the first thing I think about everyday when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep at night. I can’t even describe how much I’m hurting and how much I miss you.”
She continued, “I just wish you would have talked to me and told me what was going on that day. I’m so sorry you thought this was the only way to make things better. I’m so sorry I couldn’t do more and I didn’t see the signs. I’m sorry I let you down. Just know you’re always with me and always on my mind. I miss you so much and I love you more Lump.”
The tragic passing of Hudson Madsen marks the loss of a hero, son, best friend, and spouse. It’s time to tell everybody you know that you love them if they need to hear it.
There is always aid available, and keep in mind that you can call the Suicide Hotline in the U.S. and Canada by dialing 9-8-8 if you’d like to speak with someone anonymously.
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