Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
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Why Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds Weren’t at 2024 Met Gala
The 2024 Met Gala is a wrap, but let’s be real, it was missing some major players this time around. Like, where was Blake Lively, the ultimate Met Gala royalty? She and Ryan Reynolds ghosted the event for the second year straight, and fans are totally bummed about it.
Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds ended up skipping their second Met Gala in a row. Instead of hitting the town for the “Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion” themed bash, Blake and Ryan opted for a cozy night in with their four kiddos. Family time over fancy parties—it’s hard to argue with that!
Lively sparked hope she could attend the Met Gala when she went to a Tiffany & Co. event in New York last week. Ultimately, she let that be her big fashion moment for early May.
Blake Lively has quite the Met Gala history, even poking fun at herself for perfectly coordinating with the carpet in previous years. Her last Met Gala appearance was in 2022, where she not only attended, but also co-chaired the event. Embracing the “Gilded Glamour” theme, she stunned in an Atelier Versace gown paired with her signature Lorraine Schwartz jewelry and a tiara.
What sets Lively apart is that she styles herself, even for major events like the Met Gala. She explained that she enjoys the creativity and control it offers.
Fans were eagerly anticipating Blake Lively’s return to the 2024 Met Gala, hoping for her signature style and charisma to grace the event once again. However, when she didn’t make an appearance, disappointment swept through social media. “Blake Lively, where are you?” one fan questioned, echoing the sentiments of many who were eagerly awaiting her presence.
Another fan expressed their disappointment, saying, “pretending to not care Blake Lively isn’t there to save the night #MetGala.” It’s clear that Lively’s absence left a noticeable void for many attendees and followers of the event, underscoring her significant impact and presence at the Met Gala over the years.
Check out Blake’s top Met Gala looks of all time!
Preview photo credit Invision/Invision/East News, Invision/Invision/East News, vancityreynolds / Instagram
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