Every day, moms have a lot on their plates.
Managing multiple responsibilities throughout the day, like cleaning their children’s sticky hands and faces, folding laundry, ensuring they eat breakfast and lunch, and getting them ready for school, leaves parents with a lot on their plates and little time for relaxation.
No matter how hard they try, there will always be some sort of mishap—such as a toy you trip over, a glass of milk that gets knocked over, or a stain somewhere—waiting around the corner.
The luxury of taking a quick shower before going to bed or spending some alone time is something that many mothers cannot afford.
A mother who has seen it all, Heather Duckworth, recently wrote a piece in which she touched on some of the things we take for granted as parents.
A crucial component of that process is the mess that children make as they transform before our own eyes into the people we’ve always thought they’ll become.
It’s crucial to keep in mind that our kids will use the messes we cleaned up when they were adults as the greatest evidence to the upbringing we provided for them, so it’s worthwhile to make an effort to find happiness even in the middle of turmoil.
Unfortunately, not every woman gets to witness the chaos and disarray that kids bring about.
Not all parents are able to experience the happiness that children bring into their life, either.
Many new and expecting mothers connected with Heather’s widely shared post , “The Blue Stain.”
As Heather washed the grout her daughter had created with the slime, her heart began to race as she recalled the catastrophe she had to clean up all those years prior.
This mother would think, “My hands were full, but so was my heart,” after a demanding day of chasing after her two-year-old triplets and her four-year-old elder brother, picking up toys, and making sure no one got hurt in the mountains of laundry she was unable to finish that day.
Heather and her two sons danced to the radio as they cleaned up the playroom before calling it a night.
It was the last time they would laugh so hard for a while, no one could have anticipated.
She was about to go to sleep herself when she heard one of the boys say, “Uh, Oh,” and she noticed the enormous blue stain that would follow her about for the rest of her life.
One of the triplets’ pens exploded in his hand, splattering ink all over the place. Blue pajamas, hands, and face gave the appearance that the little child was a smurf.
Heather became enraged and felt like a lousy mother as she watched.
Although she hadn’t been upset with her son, she did blame herself since she’d placed the pen in a place where kids could readily get to it. She gave in to her emotions.
“When I noticed blue splatters all over the floor and a large pool of ink seeping into our brand-new carpet, I panicked. My husband had been doing the dishes, so I hurriedly shouted for him to come help me. My spouse began cleaning those vivid blue stains off of our carpet as soon as I got my son and took him to the toilet to clean him up. I was immediately upset.
Heather would often get angry and frustrated when she spotted the stain on the brand-new carpet. Up until the day it was eventually removed, the stain represented all the amazing experiences she shared with her sons.
A month after the little child spilled blue paint on the carpet, he was given a cancer diagnosis. Two years later, he passed away, leaving the stain as a reminder of their time together.
It remained in place, but now it served as a continual reminder of my kid. It served as a continual reminder of my annoyance at something so little and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
The blue stain served as a continual reminder that although life is messy, it is still worthwhile. a persistent prompt to stop worrying about the little things. a continual reminder that people matter more than “things.” a continuous reminder that mishaps do occur. a continual reminder to hold fast to what is important and let go of the trivial things.
She attempted to hide the bright blue stain with the furniture, but each time she tidied the space, it was there, glaring back at her, a constant reminder of her loss and the grief she was still experiencing.
The purpose of Heather’s narrative is to serve as a reminder of how frequently we forget to see the small things in life that bring us purpose and take life for granted. She feels compelled to tell all the mothers out there that the toys scattered around and the filthy clothes are what actually provide their homes a feeling of security and comfort for their family.
As Heather puts it, those messes caused by the people we care about the most are what give our lives meaning because the day will come when we will truly miss those times.”If it meant I could spend one more day with my son, I would gladly have a million blue ink stains on my carpet.”
She gives mothers this advice: try not to become so engrossed in the world that you lose out on spending valuable time with your children. Prioritize what really important in life since it’s too short to waste time cleaning stains!
My Husband Insisted on Homeschooling Our Daughter — I Gasped When I Found Out Why
When Mia’s husband, Ben, suddenly starts talking about homeschooling their six-year-old daughter, Lily, she’s surprised. Months earlier, they had been talking about sending the little girl to private school. So, what changed? Mia finds out when she overhears a conversation between Ben and Lily…
This all started a few months ago at a dinner party. My husband, Ben, and I were sitting with a few friends when, out of the blue, he brought up the idea of homeschooling our daughter, Lily.
An aerial view of people at a dinner party | Source: Midjourney
“It’s the system, you know? It’s too rigid, too focused on tests,” Ben said, leaning forward in his seat like he had discovered the secret to the universe.
“Kids need to be free to explore their creativity. I don’t want Lily’s imagination boxed in. She needs to feel things between her fingers and experience life,” he continued.
Ben reached forward to help himself to the bowl of mashed potatoes.
A casserole of mashed potatoes | Source: Midjourney
Everyone at the table nodded, murmuring in agreement.
“Honestly, that’s so true,” our friend Sarah chimed in as she sipped her wine. “Schools just kill creativity. I wish I had done something different with my kids. Last year, Jasmine wanted to show off her creativity through her uniform, but they didn’t accept it at school. She got a suspension warning.”
I remember glancing at Ben, completely surprised at how passionately he was speaking. He had never once mentioned anything about homeschooling before. In fact, he had been talking about us getting our six-year-old into private school.
A little girl in her school uniform | Source: Midjourney
But here he was, talking about homeschooling like he’d been thinking about it for years.
“We could teach her ourselves, Mia,” Ben continued, glancing over at me with a smile. “Think about it, love. No strict schedules, no standardized tests. She could learn at her own pace.”
I nodded, trying to process everything.
A smiling man | Source: Midjourney
“Yeah, I mean, it does sound good,” I agreed. “But we need to explore all options about it first.”
I was hesitant. But I was also unsure of why I felt a slight unease creep up on me. Although when Ben spoke so passionately, it was hard not to get swept up in the dream of it all.
After that night, Ben kept bringing it up. At home, over dinner, in passing conversations, he’d make little comments all the time.
A concerned woman | Source: Midjourney
“Lily would be so much happier if she wasn’t stuck in a classroom all day.”
“We could help her learn things that matter, Mia, not just what’s on some test.”
Eventually, I started to believe that he might be right.
Before I knew it, we had decided to pull Lily out of her school and start with the new routine of homeschooling. Ben took charge of everything.
A little girl using a computer | Source: Midjourney
“Like the gifts we talked about? You’ll deliver them, right?”
He had always been more involved with her school meetings, so I trusted him completely. And look, at first, everything seemed to be working. Ben would sit with Lily during “school hours,” and he’d proudly show me the projects they’d worked on when I got home from work.
“I’m glad she’s happy,” I told Ben one evening when I was loading the dishwasher.
A woman loading a dishwasher | Source: Midjourney
“She’s more than happy, Mia,” he said with a smile. “She’s thriving. Look at this! She made a solar system model all on her own.”
But then one day, I came home early from work, eager to show Lily the new set of watercolor paint I had gotten for her. I walked in quietly, not wanting to disturb whatever lesson she and Ben were doing.
And that’s when I heard Lily crying.
A concerned woman | Source: Midjourney
“But Dad, I miss my friends!” Lily sobbed. “They probably think I don’t like them anymore. I’m sure they think we’re fighting! They’ll be so mad at me for not going to school…”
I crept closer to the dining room, which had become the classroom. And I heard Ben’s voice, low and soothing.
“Lily-girl,” he said. “I told you, we can send them little gifts, okay? They won’t be mad at you.”
An upset little man | Source: Midjourney
Lily sniffled, but her tone lifted a little.
“Like the gifts we talked about? You’ll deliver them, right?” she said.
Deliver gifts? What on earth was my child talking about?
“Yes, darling,” he said.
A frowning woman | Source: Midjourney
“Like when you let me come with you when Mommy had to work? You’re going to deliver my friends’ gifts just like when you bring packages to people, right?”
I froze. I tried to piece the information together before storming in and demanding answers.
Ben wasn’t homeschooling Lily out of some grand educational philosophy that he had been talking about endlessly.
An upset little girl | Source: Midjourney
Instead, my husband was delivering packages. All those days that I thought they were doing lessons… what had really been happening under my roof?
“Get your answers, Mia,” I muttered as I walked into the dining room.
Ben’s face turned white when he saw me.
A close up of a shocked man | Source: Midjourney
“Care to explain what on earth Lily is talking about?” I asked.
My chest felt tight, like I was just holding it all together before some horrible news came out.
Ben let out a long breath, running his hands through his hair.
“Honey, why don’t you go play on the swing or watch some TV?” Ben told her.
We waited until Lily was happily running outside to the swing before Ben said another word.
A little girl sitting on a swing | Source: Midjourney
“I… I lost my job, okay? Months ago. I didn’t know how to tell you, Mia.”
I blinked, trying to process his words.
“I didn’t want you to think I was a failure.”
“You lost your job? Then what on earth have you been doing all day?”
“The homeschooling. It wasn’t about Lily’s education. It was because we couldn’t afford the tuition anymore. And I know that a few months ago I wanted her to go to private school, but I couldn’t even afford her public school fees.”
A close up of an upset man | Source: Midjourney
Ben paused, holding his head.
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to retaliate.
“I’ve been delivering packages. It’s not stable, but it’s for a few hours a day. I take Lily with me in between her homeschooling. I know you think that I’ve been working in the study and then teaching Lily, too…”
A man holding two boxes | Source: Midjourney
“You’ve been delivering packages? Really? This whole time?” I asked, stunned. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to think that I was a failure,” Ben said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t know how to fix this situation. But you know how stressful my job was toward the end. Those hours killed me. I thought that maybe if I could just keep things together for a little while longer…”
A frowning woman | Source: Midjourney
I shook my head, trying to wrap my mind around everything. I wanted to be angry.
I wanted to shout at my husband, not because he lost his job, but because he didn’t want to tell me about it. I understood the pressure of losing your job suddenly and then having to put yourself back together.
When I was pregnant with Lily, I lost my job because they couldn’t afford to keep paying me while I was on maternity leave.
A pregnant woman sitting on a couch | Source: Midjourney
But Ben carried us right up until Lily was three years old.
I shook my head now, trying to shake some of my thoughts. I felt… sad. Sad that Ben had felt like he had to hide this from me.
“Ben, you didn’t have to do this alone,” I said, reaching toward him.
He smiled at me sadly.
A close up of a woman | Source: Midjourney
We put Lily back into school the next week using our savings. She was overjoyed to see her friends, and the guilt Ben had been carrying around began to lift when he saw her running toward them at the school gate.
As for Ben, he found another job as a grocery store manager. It wasn’t his dream job, but it was honest work that came with medical benefits. And honestly, I think it was just the fact that he was earning properly again that made the biggest difference to him.
A man standing in a grocery store | Source: Midjourney
There was a lightness back in our home that hadn’t been there in a long time. A sense that we were moving forward, together.
What would you have done?
A smiling couple with their daughter | Source: Midjourney
If you enjoyed this story, here’s another one for you |
Am I Wrong for “Hiding” My MIL’s Birthday Present to My Husband after Finding Out What Was Inside?
Tired of allowing her cold and callous mother-in-law to ruin her husband’s birthday, Lila hides Carol’s birthday present from Bill to save him the hurt and disappointment that usually came with his mother’s gifts. But when Lila’s secret comes out, a series of events unfolds.
I could tell my husband, Bill, was nervous. His birthday was coming up, and every year, his mom’s gift felt like a slap in the face.
Bill sat on our worn-out couch, his shoulders tense.
A man sitting on a couch | Source: Midjourney
“Do you think she’ll actually care this time?” he asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
I sighed, placing my hand on his. I didn’t know what I was supposed to say. I knew that I needed to reassure him, but my husband’s relationship with his mother was complicated.
“Maybe,” I said. “But remember, we’re celebrating your birthday, not hers. We’ll have a great time, no matter what, darling.”
A couple holding hands | Source: Midjourney
Bill smiled at me, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I knew how much he wanted to feel loved and appreciated by Carol, but she always failed to show him that. It wasn’t just about the gifts. It was about the feeling.
Bill had told me the story a long time ago. He was his mother’s son from her first marriage, and their relationship was strong, but things took a turn when Carol met her second husband, Adam.
It became even worse when Bill’s younger brothers were born. Suddenly, Carol only had eyes for Adam and their sons, making it clear to Bill that he was no longer a priority in her life.
A mother and her sons | Source: Midjourney
“Okay,” he said. “This year will be different.”
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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