Fearing for their children’s futures, parents search for universal parenting techniques that will put their kids on the route to a prosperous job and a happy life. But times are changing, and the old principles of success are no longer relevant. Sometimes, parents’ actions, intended to be helpful, can actually create challenges for their children’s future.
1. Not allowing their kid to fail
Perfectionist parent often strives for perfection themselves, leading them to expect increasing levels of perfection from their child as they grow older — from the child’s artwork never being good enough to their bed not being made perfectly or not studying hard enough. The child faces constant criticism and reprimands but is never allowed to learn from their mistakes. Children of perfectionist parents may grow up to be perfectionists themselves or develop low self-esteem and lack confidence. Both outcomes can negatively impact their future careers.
- Anna’s mother always compared her to Mary, saying, “Look how tidy Mary is compared to you, Anna!” Despite Anna’s efforts to emulate Mary, she never measured up, and her mother’s criticism only intensified. Anna’s mother never allowed her the chance to improve her habits and learn basic skills. Now at 25 years old, Anna still compares herself to others and always comes up short in her own eyes. Needless to say, this constant comparison has taken a toll on her self-esteem.
2. Paying a child for good grades
This topic remains a subject of debate, but consider this perspective: imagine yourself as a contractor continually paying more for a product or service, with the child as the supplier providing it in exchange for money or rewards. It doesn’t sound like a good idea, does it?
- Alexandra’s parents sought to motivate their daughter to excel in her studies by offering money as an incentive. Initially, Alexandra’s grades improved, suggesting the approach was effective. However, her parents later discovered that she had been fabricating stories about an imaginary illness and sharing them with her teachers. She even falsely claimed that her parents constantly criticized her for poor grades. The sympathetic teacher then raised Alexandra’s grades out of pity. Following this incident, Alexandra’s parents discontinued the practice of paying for grades and sought guidance from a child psychologist.
3. Preventing their child from expressing their feelings
Sometimes, adults dismiss a child’s feelings as wrong — insisting that bruises don’t hurt, feeling anger toward a child who hit them is shameful, or being sad even with a valid reason is incorrect. Parents often do this with good intentions, wanting to teach their children proper behavior. However, it’s crucial to recognize that a fundamental skill for modern individuals is the ability to acknowledge and manage their feelings, emotions, and needs.
- Kate, now 37, vividly remembers how her mother forced her to give away her beloved doll to another girl, admonishing her for being “greedy” and scolding her for getting upset over a “stupid toy.” Kate never got her doll back. Over the years, she has worked hard to assert herself, learning to say “no” to demanding people, including her boss and coworkers. Despite this, Kate often feels guilty whenever she refuses to comply with their requests.
4. Failing to support their child in front of strangers
Every child needs the assurance that their parents will stand up for them in any conflict, regardless of the situation, and won’t blindly trust the words of authority figures like teachers, principals, or neighbors. When parents allow their children to speak up for themselves when they are ready to take responsibility for their actions, it helps them develop healthy self-esteem and a sense of personal accountability.
- Maggy was raised by her grandmother, who often said, “But what will other people think?” Although her grandmother loved Maggy and wanted the best for her, she constantly emphasized the importance of public opinion. As a result, Maggy struggles to make her own decisions and even relies on her friends’ opinions when choosing something as simple as dessert.
5. Drawing inspiration and comparing to successful people
Each generation has its own set of heroes whom young people aspire to emulate. In recent decades, the tales of personal success from wealthy and influential individuals have become widespread. However, it’s not as simple as learning their life story and achieving happiness. If it were that easy, everyone who reads their books would have solved all their financial problems by now.
- Alex developed a passion for computers from a young age. Inspired by the story of Steve Jobs that his dad shared with him, Alex immersed himself in learning everything about Apple. When it came time to choose a university, Alex initially believed he didn’t need higher education because Steve Jobs succeeded without it. Eventually, Alex realized the importance of education for his path and pursued college to advance his career. Now, Alex jokes, “What worked for Steve Jobs is just a waste of time for an ordinary guy like me.”
6. Pressuring their child to decide on their future career
The notion that a person should stick to one career for their entire life is likely outdated and impractical. Many modern occupations didn’t exist a decade ago, while others have already become obsolete.
- Since childhood, Max had a passion for exploring computers and understanding various software programs. Despite his parents’ concerns, he pursued this interest and eventually discovered online courses in software testing. Now, he is thriving in this field, leveraging his potential and skills.
- Laura, at 37, worked as a sociologist for a major consulting firm but found it challenging to maintain her career after having her son. During maternity leave, she rediscovered her love for photography. Starting with unique photos of her child, Laura progressed to offering photoshoots for friends’ and acquaintances’ kids. Over time, she opened her photo studio. Laura now earns as much as her husband and successfully manages her professional life while caring for her family. This shift exemplifies the evolving nature of careers and the importance of embracing new opportunities.
7. Arguing about money
Since children may absorb long-lasting messages from these circumstances, it’s crucial to avoid arguing about money or other matters in front of them. Instead of one-on-one conflicts, which can cause youngsters to take sides and become distressed, talks should be led in a way that promotes involvement.
- Chris grew up witnessing his parents argue about money. When he went to college at 17 and moved away, he struggled with managing his finances and spending on unnecessary items. He now fears starting relationships, believing that money is the root cause of his sadness.
8. Prohibiting the child from using social networks
Social networks have become today’s equivalent of the yards and neighborhoods where we used to play as children. Kids can learn valuable skills through computer programs integrated with social media platforms. While parents should remind their kids about online safety rules, depriving children of this experience can be harsh.
- Aria’s mother was surprised to discover that her 10-year-old daughter had learned to create cool videos. Even more surprising was the realization that Aria had learned this skill from using TikTok. Now, creating short videos has become a family hobby for them.
9. Teaching the kid that they have the stuff at home
Many of us recall times when we asked our parents to buy us things, only to hear, “We already have that at home; we don’t need it.” Some parents repeatedly expose their children to such situations, unintentionally discouraging them from getting what they truly need. This pattern can significantly impact their financial habits as adults. On the other hand, constantly satisfying a child’s every need can also have negative effects.
- Jan’s mother often tells him they have things at home and they don’t buy them from the store. Jan has learned to overlook his needs, and with each subsequent request, he withdraws more, knowing not to ask. When Jan grows up and earns his income, money will go towards trivial things because that’s how he’s learned to live.
10. Preventing children from getting into conflicts
The ability to engage with others is perhaps one of the most crucial professional skills one can possess. It’s important not only to help children make friends but also to teach them how to engage in healthy arguments. People often hold differing opinions, and there are various ways to express emotions. The sooner children grasp this concept, the easier their interactions with others will be, including in professional settings.
- Michaela spent her life avoiding conflicts, preferring to agree with others rather than engage in disputes. She believed that someone always had to be the “smarter” one, but this approach proved more harmful than beneficial. One day, Michaela learned about active listening and decided to apply this approach in her professional life. She excelled at paying attention to others’ perspectives while also expressing her feelings when others attempted to take advantage of her. Initially, people found her communication style unconventional, but conflicts with coworkers became more constructive, leading to mutually beneficial resolutions.
11. Helping their child learn to save money
The world is always changing, and old ways of making or saving money might not work anymore. We can’t predict what skills will be valuable in the future economy. That’s why it’s important to teach kids to be flexible and ready for change, not just to save money.
- Emily’s grandfather saved money his whole life “just in case.” But when that “case” finally happened, a financial meltdown made all his investments lose value. Emily saw this while growing up, and now she’s worried the economy could collapse at any time. She believes the best investment is in her skills and knowledge.
12. Trying to build a strong character with the help of sports
While there’s a widespread belief that sports are beneficial for discipline and character development, excessive competitiveness in professional sports can be detrimental to a child’s physical and mental health. This competitiveness can be fueled by both fellow young athletes and coaches. Only a few individuals become champions, and coaches often prioritize these select few, neglecting the rest of the team. Coping with this unfair treatment at a young age can lead to low self-esteem and confusion about alternative life paths if a child must stop playing sports.
- Tom’s mother pursued rhythmic gymnastics as a child but had to abandon her Olympic dreams due to a leg injury. When Tom was three, his mother enrolled him in gymnastics classes, hoping he would excel. However, Tom struggled in this sport, leading him to lose interest in school, feel like a failure, and struggle to identify his strengths. Now, Tom is studying to become a child psychologist to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children without making the same mistakes.
Being protective of your children is natural, but it’s important to set boundaries. Respecting their privacy is crucial for a healthy parent-child relationship and their personal development. Violating their privacy can have serious negative effects, especially on their mental health.
My Husband Purchased First Class Seats for Himself and His Mother, Leaving Me and the Children in Economy – I Taught Him a Severe Lesson
My entitled husband booked first class for himself and his mom, leaving me in economy with the kids. But I wasn’t going to just sit back. I made sure his “luxury” experience had a little turbulence, turning his flight into a lesson he won’t forget.
I’m Sophie and let me tell you about my husband, Clark. You know the workaholic, always stressed type, who probably thinks his job is the center of the universe? Don’t get me wrong, I get it, but hello? Being a mom isn’t exactly a spa day either. Anyway, he really outdid himself this time. You ready for this?
Okay, so we were supposed to be visiting his family for the holidays last month. The whole point was to relax, bond as a family, and give the kids some fun memories. Simple enough, right?
Clark volunteered to book the flights, and I thought, “Great, one less thing for me to worry about.”
Oh, how naive I was.
“Clark, honey, where are our seats?” I asked, juggling our toddler on one hip and a diaper bag on the other. The airport was a maze of stressed-out families and businesspeople rushing to their gates.
Clark, my dear husband of eight years, was busy tapping away on his phone. “Oh, um, about that…” he mumbled, not even looking up.
I felt a knot forming in my stomach. “What do you mean, ‘about that’?”
He finally pocketed his phone and gave me that sheepish grin I’d come to dread.
“Well, I managed to snag an upgrade for me and Mom to first class. You know how she gets on long flights, and I really need to catch up on some peaceful rest…”
Wait. An upgrade for just the two of them? I stared at him, waiting for the punchline. It didn’t come.
“So, let me get this straight,” I snapped. “You and your mother are sitting in first class, while I’m stuck in economy with both kids?”
Clark had the audacity to shrug. The nerve of this guy. Argh.
“Ah, c’mon. Stop being a drama queen! It’s just a few hours, Soph. You’ll be fine.”
As if on cue, his mother Nadia appeared, designer luggage in tow. “Oh, Clark! There you are. Are we ready for our luxurious flight?”
She smirked as if she’d won an Olympic medal and I swear I could’ve melted under her gaze.
I watched as they sauntered off towards the first-class lounge, leaving me with two cranky kids and a growing desire for revenge.
“Oh, it’ll be luxurious alright,” I muttered, a delicious, petty plan brewing in my head. “Just you wait.”
As we boarded the plane, I couldn’t help but notice the grim difference between first class and economy. Clark and Nadia were already sipping champagne while I struggled to fit our carry-on into the overhead bin.
“Mommy, I want to sit with Daddy!” our five-year-old whined.
I forced a smile. “Not this time, sweetie. Daddy and Grandma are sitting in a special part of the plane.”
“Why can’t we sit there too?”
“Because Daddy’s a special kind of jerk.”
“What was that, Mommy?”
“Nothing, honey. Let’s get you buckled in.”
As I settled the kids, I caught a glimpse of Clark reclining in his spacious seat, looking all too pleased with himself. That’s when I remembered I had his wallet. Yep! Here’s how!
As we navigated the security checkpoint earlier, I subtly lagged behind. While Clark and Nadia were engrossed in a conversation, I discreetly slipped my hand into his carry-on. I quickly located his wallet, slipped it into my bag, and resumed my place in line as if NOTHING had happened. Smart, right? I know! I know!
Okay, so back to where we left off. A wicked grin spread across my face as I watched Clark. This flight was about to get a lot more interesting.
Two hours into the flight, my kids were asleep, and I was enjoying the peace and quiet. That’s when I saw the flight attendant approaching the first-class cabin with a tray of gourmet meals. Yum!
It was like watching a dog drool over a juicy steak while I was stuck with airline pretzels.
I watched as Clark ordered the most expensive items on the menu, complete with top-shelf liquor, indulging in every luxury available.
“Would you like anything from the snack cart, ma’am?” another flight attendant asked me.
I smiled. “Just water, please. And maybe some popcorn. I have a feeling I’m about to watch quite a show.”
The attendant looked confused but obliged.
As expected, about thirty minutes later, I saw Clark frantically searching his pockets. The color drained from his face as he realized his wallet was missing.
I couldn’t hear what was being said, but his body language told me everything. The flight attendant was standing firm, hand outstretched, waiting for payment.
Clark was gesturing wildly, his voice rising just enough for me to catch snippets.
“But I’m sure I had it… Can’t we just… I’ll pay when we land!”
I sat back, munching on my popcorn. The in-flight entertainment had nothing on this. Jeez, this was EPIC!
Finally, the moment I’d been waiting for arrived. Clark, looking like a scolded schoolboy, made his way down the aisle to economy class. And to me!
“Soph,” he whispered urgently, crouching next to my seat. “I can’t find my wallet. Please tell me you have some cash.”
I put on my best-concerned face. “Oh no! That’s terrible, honey. How much do you need?”
He winced. “Uh, about $1500?”
I nearly choked on my water. “Thousand five hundred bucks? What on earth did you order? The blue whale?!”
“Look, it doesn’t matter,” he hissed, glancing nervously back at first class. “Do you have it or not?”
I made a show of rummaging through my purse. “Let’s see… I’ve got about $200. Will that help?”
The look of desperation on his face was priceless. “It’s better than nothing, I guess. Thanks.”
As he turned to leave, I called out sweetly, “Hey, doesn’t your mom have her credit card? I’m sure she’d be happy to help!”
The color drained from Clark’s face as he realized he’d have to ask his mother to bail him out. This was better than any revenge I could have planned.
The rest of the flight was delightfully awkward. Clark and Nadia sat in stony silence, their first-class experience thoroughly ruined. Meanwhile, I enjoyed my economy seat with a newfound joy.
As we began our descent, Clark made one more trip back to economy.
“Soph, have you seen my wallet? I’ve looked everywhere.”
I put on my most innocent face. “No, honey. Are you sure you didn’t leave it at home?”
He ran his hands through his hair, frustration evident. “I could’ve sworn I had it at the airport. This is a nightmare.”
“Well,” I said, patting his arm, “at least you got to enjoy first class, right?”
The look he gave me could have curdled milk. “Yeah, real enjoyable.”
As he skulked back to his seat, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of satisfaction. Lesson learned!
After the flight, Clark was looking as sour as a lemon. Nadia had wisely disappeared into the restroom, probably to avoid the look on his face. I couldn’t blame her. It was one of those classic “if looks could kill” moments, and Clark’s mood wasn’t improving.
“I can’t believe I lost my wallet,” Clark muttered, patting down his pockets for the tenth time.
“Are you sure you didn’t leave it in first class?” I asked, doing my best to keep a straight face.
He shot me a glare. “I already checked. Twice.”
I bit my lip, holding back the grin threatening to break free. This was too good.
“Maybe it fell out during one of those fancy meals they served you.”
“Very funny, Soph. This isn’t a joke. There’s gotta be a way to track it down.”
He then let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping. “I just hope someone didn’t pick it up and run off with it. All our cards are in there.”
“Yeah, that would suck!”
As Clark continued to grumble about his missing wallet, I casually zipped my purse shut, keeping my little secret tucked safely inside. I wasn’t about to let him off the hook just yet.
Besides, there was something oddly satisfying about watching him squirm a little after ditching us for first class.
As we walked out of the airport, I couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. I’d keep the wallet hidden for a while longer and treat myself to something nice with his card before handing it back. A little creative justice never hurt anyone!
So, fellow travelers, remember: if your partner ever tries to upgrade themselves and leave you behind, a little creative justice might just be the ticket to a happier journey. After all, in the flight of life, we’re all in this together… economy or first class.
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