Fearing for their children’s futures, parents search for universal parenting techniques that will put their kids on the route to a prosperous job and a happy life. But times are changing, and the old principles of success are no longer relevant. Sometimes, parents’ actions, intended to be helpful, can actually create challenges for their children’s future.
1. Not allowing their kid to fail
Perfectionist parent often strives for perfection themselves, leading them to expect increasing levels of perfection from their child as they grow older — from the child’s artwork never being good enough to their bed not being made perfectly or not studying hard enough. The child faces constant criticism and reprimands but is never allowed to learn from their mistakes. Children of perfectionist parents may grow up to be perfectionists themselves or develop low self-esteem and lack confidence. Both outcomes can negatively impact their future careers.
- Anna’s mother always compared her to Mary, saying, “Look how tidy Mary is compared to you, Anna!” Despite Anna’s efforts to emulate Mary, she never measured up, and her mother’s criticism only intensified. Anna’s mother never allowed her the chance to improve her habits and learn basic skills. Now at 25 years old, Anna still compares herself to others and always comes up short in her own eyes. Needless to say, this constant comparison has taken a toll on her self-esteem.
2. Paying a child for good grades
This topic remains a subject of debate, but consider this perspective: imagine yourself as a contractor continually paying more for a product or service, with the child as the supplier providing it in exchange for money or rewards. It doesn’t sound like a good idea, does it?
- Alexandra’s parents sought to motivate their daughter to excel in her studies by offering money as an incentive. Initially, Alexandra’s grades improved, suggesting the approach was effective. However, her parents later discovered that she had been fabricating stories about an imaginary illness and sharing them with her teachers. She even falsely claimed that her parents constantly criticized her for poor grades. The sympathetic teacher then raised Alexandra’s grades out of pity. Following this incident, Alexandra’s parents discontinued the practice of paying for grades and sought guidance from a child psychologist.
3. Preventing their child from expressing their feelings
Sometimes, adults dismiss a child’s feelings as wrong — insisting that bruises don’t hurt, feeling anger toward a child who hit them is shameful, or being sad even with a valid reason is incorrect. Parents often do this with good intentions, wanting to teach their children proper behavior. However, it’s crucial to recognize that a fundamental skill for modern individuals is the ability to acknowledge and manage their feelings, emotions, and needs.
- Kate, now 37, vividly remembers how her mother forced her to give away her beloved doll to another girl, admonishing her for being “greedy” and scolding her for getting upset over a “stupid toy.” Kate never got her doll back. Over the years, she has worked hard to assert herself, learning to say “no” to demanding people, including her boss and coworkers. Despite this, Kate often feels guilty whenever she refuses to comply with their requests.
4. Failing to support their child in front of strangers
Every child needs the assurance that their parents will stand up for them in any conflict, regardless of the situation, and won’t blindly trust the words of authority figures like teachers, principals, or neighbors. When parents allow their children to speak up for themselves when they are ready to take responsibility for their actions, it helps them develop healthy self-esteem and a sense of personal accountability.
- Maggy was raised by her grandmother, who often said, “But what will other people think?” Although her grandmother loved Maggy and wanted the best for her, she constantly emphasized the importance of public opinion. As a result, Maggy struggles to make her own decisions and even relies on her friends’ opinions when choosing something as simple as dessert.
5. Drawing inspiration and comparing to successful people
Each generation has its own set of heroes whom young people aspire to emulate. In recent decades, the tales of personal success from wealthy and influential individuals have become widespread. However, it’s not as simple as learning their life story and achieving happiness. If it were that easy, everyone who reads their books would have solved all their financial problems by now.
- Alex developed a passion for computers from a young age. Inspired by the story of Steve Jobs that his dad shared with him, Alex immersed himself in learning everything about Apple. When it came time to choose a university, Alex initially believed he didn’t need higher education because Steve Jobs succeeded without it. Eventually, Alex realized the importance of education for his path and pursued college to advance his career. Now, Alex jokes, “What worked for Steve Jobs is just a waste of time for an ordinary guy like me.”
6. Pressuring their child to decide on their future career
The notion that a person should stick to one career for their entire life is likely outdated and impractical. Many modern occupations didn’t exist a decade ago, while others have already become obsolete.
- Since childhood, Max had a passion for exploring computers and understanding various software programs. Despite his parents’ concerns, he pursued this interest and eventually discovered online courses in software testing. Now, he is thriving in this field, leveraging his potential and skills.
- Laura, at 37, worked as a sociologist for a major consulting firm but found it challenging to maintain her career after having her son. During maternity leave, she rediscovered her love for photography. Starting with unique photos of her child, Laura progressed to offering photoshoots for friends’ and acquaintances’ kids. Over time, she opened her photo studio. Laura now earns as much as her husband and successfully manages her professional life while caring for her family. This shift exemplifies the evolving nature of careers and the importance of embracing new opportunities.
7. Arguing about money
Since children may absorb long-lasting messages from these circumstances, it’s crucial to avoid arguing about money or other matters in front of them. Instead of one-on-one conflicts, which can cause youngsters to take sides and become distressed, talks should be led in a way that promotes involvement.
- Chris grew up witnessing his parents argue about money. When he went to college at 17 and moved away, he struggled with managing his finances and spending on unnecessary items. He now fears starting relationships, believing that money is the root cause of his sadness.
8. Prohibiting the child from using social networks
Social networks have become today’s equivalent of the yards and neighborhoods where we used to play as children. Kids can learn valuable skills through computer programs integrated with social media platforms. While parents should remind their kids about online safety rules, depriving children of this experience can be harsh.
- Aria’s mother was surprised to discover that her 10-year-old daughter had learned to create cool videos. Even more surprising was the realization that Aria had learned this skill from using TikTok. Now, creating short videos has become a family hobby for them.
9. Teaching the kid that they have the stuff at home
Many of us recall times when we asked our parents to buy us things, only to hear, “We already have that at home; we don’t need it.” Some parents repeatedly expose their children to such situations, unintentionally discouraging them from getting what they truly need. This pattern can significantly impact their financial habits as adults. On the other hand, constantly satisfying a child’s every need can also have negative effects.
- Jan’s mother often tells him they have things at home and they don’t buy them from the store. Jan has learned to overlook his needs, and with each subsequent request, he withdraws more, knowing not to ask. When Jan grows up and earns his income, money will go towards trivial things because that’s how he’s learned to live.
10. Preventing children from getting into conflicts
The ability to engage with others is perhaps one of the most crucial professional skills one can possess. It’s important not only to help children make friends but also to teach them how to engage in healthy arguments. People often hold differing opinions, and there are various ways to express emotions. The sooner children grasp this concept, the easier their interactions with others will be, including in professional settings.
- Michaela spent her life avoiding conflicts, preferring to agree with others rather than engage in disputes. She believed that someone always had to be the “smarter” one, but this approach proved more harmful than beneficial. One day, Michaela learned about active listening and decided to apply this approach in her professional life. She excelled at paying attention to others’ perspectives while also expressing her feelings when others attempted to take advantage of her. Initially, people found her communication style unconventional, but conflicts with coworkers became more constructive, leading to mutually beneficial resolutions.
11. Helping their child learn to save money
The world is always changing, and old ways of making or saving money might not work anymore. We can’t predict what skills will be valuable in the future economy. That’s why it’s important to teach kids to be flexible and ready for change, not just to save money.
- Emily’s grandfather saved money his whole life “just in case.” But when that “case” finally happened, a financial meltdown made all his investments lose value. Emily saw this while growing up, and now she’s worried the economy could collapse at any time. She believes the best investment is in her skills and knowledge.
12. Trying to build a strong character with the help of sports
While there’s a widespread belief that sports are beneficial for discipline and character development, excessive competitiveness in professional sports can be detrimental to a child’s physical and mental health. This competitiveness can be fueled by both fellow young athletes and coaches. Only a few individuals become champions, and coaches often prioritize these select few, neglecting the rest of the team. Coping with this unfair treatment at a young age can lead to low self-esteem and confusion about alternative life paths if a child must stop playing sports.
- Tom’s mother pursued rhythmic gymnastics as a child but had to abandon her Olympic dreams due to a leg injury. When Tom was three, his mother enrolled him in gymnastics classes, hoping he would excel. However, Tom struggled in this sport, leading him to lose interest in school, feel like a failure, and struggle to identify his strengths. Now, Tom is studying to become a child psychologist to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children without making the same mistakes.
Being protective of your children is natural, but it’s important to set boundaries. Respecting their privacy is crucial for a healthy parent-child relationship and their personal development. Violating their privacy can have serious negative effects, especially on their mental health.
My Parents Demanded That I Get Married to Keep the Family Business, So I Chose a ‘Fresh-off-the-Farm’ Girl to Spite Them
My wealthy parents demanded I marry to inherit the family business, so I chose a “country girl” to spite them. But soon, I discovered she was hiding a powerful secret.
I’ll admit it. I’m not proud of how I started all this. I wasn’t looking for love, not even close. I just wanted to get back at my parents.
You see, I’ve always lived the way I wanted, with no strings. Parties, fast cars, expensive vacations. And why not? My family was wealthy, and I knew I’d inherit my father’s business one day.
A serious young man | Source: Pexels
But then my parents sat me down for “the talk.”
“Listen, Alex,” my father said, leaning forward like he was discussing a business deal. “Your mother and I feel it’s time you settle down.”
“Settle down?” I scoffed, leaning back with a smirk. “You mean get married?”
“Precisely,” he said with a nod, not breaking eye contact. “You’re almost 30. If you want the company, we need to see some commitment. That means a wife, a family. You can’t run a business like this alone.”
A serious man talking to his son | Source: Midjourney
My mother chimed in, shaking her head. “Your father worked his entire life for this, Alex. We can’t trust the future of the business to someone who treats life like a party.”
I was fuming. They wanted a marriage, so I’d give them one. If they thought they could push me around, I’d prove them wrong. I’d find someone who’d make them question their own demands.
And that’s when I met Mary.
A country woman | Source: Pexels
Mary wasn’t from the usual places where I met women. I found her volunteering at a quiet charity event. She looked modest, maybe even shy, with a simple dress and her hair tied back. Nothing flashy, no designer clothes, just calm and… real.
When I introduced myself, she just nodded and said, “Nice to meet you, Alex.” She barely looked at me, like she wasn’t impressed at all.
A couple meeting for the first time | Source: Midjourney
“So, uh, where are you from, Mary?” I asked, trying to gauge her story.
“Oh, I’m just from a small town,” she replied with a polite smile. “Nothing fancy.” Her voice was soft, and her eyes seemed guarded.
Perfect. Just perfect.
“So, Mary,” I began, cutting right to the chase. “How do you feel about marriage?”
She raised an eyebrow, looking surprised. “Excuse me?”
“I know it sounds strange,” I said, forcing a confident smile. “But I’m looking for someone to marry. I… have my reasons. But you will need to pass several ‘tests’ first.”
A black and white photo of a serious man | Source: Pexels
Mary looked at me, expression unreadable. Then she laughed, surprising me. “Well, isn’t that funny,” she said, her eyes gleaming with something I couldn’t place. “I was just thinking I could use a little ‘marriage’ myself.”
“Really?” I said, surprised. “So, is it a deal?”
Mary studied me, then shrugged. “Alright, Alex. But you have to promise one thing.”
A young woman talking to a man at a charitable event | Source: Midjourney
“What’s that?”
“No questions about my past, and I’ll keep it simple. Just a girl from a small town, that’s all they need to know. You good with that?”
I grinned, hardly believing my luck. “Perfect.”
When I introduced Mary to my parents, they were horrified. My mother’s eyebrows shot up as she took in Mary’s plain dress and quiet demeanor.
A shocked middle-aged woman | Source: Pexels
“Oh… Mary, is it?” Mom said, trying to mask her disapproval with a tight smile.
Dad’s frown deepened. “Alex, this… this isn’t exactly what we had in mind.”
“Well, you wanted me to settle down,” I replied, unable to hide my grin. “And Mary’s perfect for me. She’s calm, humble, and doesn’t care about all this fancy stuff.”
A smiling relaxed man | Source: Pexels
Mary was pulling it off. Every time she answered politely, every time she acted uncertain around our “society talk,” I knew my parents were dying inside.
But then… something about her stayed a mystery. She was perfect for my plan, yet every so often, I’d catch a look in her eye, something almost… amused.
“Are you sure this is what you want, Alex?” she’d asked me once after dinner with my parents.
A concerned woman talking to a man at a dinner party | Source: Midjourney
“More than ever,” I said, laughing. “They’re horrified, Mary. This is working.”
“Well,” she said, her voice soft, almost too soft. “Glad I could help.”
I was so busy watching my parents’ reactions that I didn’t look too closely at Mary’s. Not yet, anyway.
An arrogant young man at a dinner table | Source: Midjourney
The night of the charity ball finally arrived. My parents had spared no expense: a grand hall glittered with chandeliers, tables lined with white silk cloths, and silverware that could feed a small country.
Mary walked in beside me, her simple dress and quiet elegance making her look out of place among the sequins and high heels around her. Exactly what I’d wanted.
A woman in a simple dress | Source: Pexels
“Just remember,” I whispered, leaning close to her. “Tonight’s the final test.”
She looked up at me, her expression unreadable. “I know the drill.”
As the night went on, I stayed close to her, watching as she spoke softly, smiled politely, and never called attention to herself. My parents threw her a few concerned glances now and then, but I could tell they were hoping she’d just blend into the background.
People at a charity event | Source: Freepik
Then, out of nowhere, the mayor himself approached us, his face breaking into a broad smile.
“Mary! I’m delighted to see you here!” he exclaimed, reaching out to shake her hand.
My parents’ jaws nearly hit the floor. I blinked, trying to make sense of it. The mayor knew Mary?
Mary’s smile was polite, but I noticed her discomfort. “Good to see you too, Mayor,” she replied, a little stiffly.
A woman talking to the Mayor of the city | Source: Midjourney
“You know, everyone’s still talking about that children’s hospital project you funded,” the mayor continued. “Your family’s contributions are still making a difference.”
Mary nodded. “I’m glad to hear that. We just want to help where we can.”
The mayor finally moved on, leaving us in stunned silence. My mother was the first to break it, looking at me with wide eyes. “Alex… what was that about?”
A skeptical woman at an event | Source: Midjourney
Before I could respond, Jack, an old family friend, walked over with an astonished expression. “Mary! It’s been ages since I last saw you. I didn’t know you were back in town.”
Mary forced a small laugh. “I, uh, didn’t exactly announce it. I came back for my… wedding,” she said.
Jack turned to me, his face half-amused, half-incredulous. “Alex, you’re marrying Mary the Charity Princess? Her family’s one of the largest philanthropists in the state!”
An amused man at a charity event | Source: Midjourney
My mouth went dry. Charity Princess. I’d heard the name, of course. Everyone had. But I had never bothered to meet her or even look her up.
The moment we could slip away from my parents’ glares, I pulled Mary aside to a quiet corner. “So… Charity Princess?” I asked, crossing my arms.
She sighed, glancing away. “Yes. My family owns the biggest charity fund. They run in these circles, but I don’t. I’ve been avoiding all this for years.”
An awkward woman talking to a man | Source: Midjourney
I ran a hand through my hair, still trying to wrap my head around it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because,” she said slowly, “it’s the same reason you didn’t tell me you wanted a ‘fake’ marriage to spite your parents. I have my own reasons, Alex.”
“You knew this was fake all along?” I asked, trying to sound calm, but my voice gave me away.
A shocked man in a suit | Source: Freepik
She took a deep breath. “I got sick of my parents pushing me to marry someone for status. I wanted my own life, without all the expectations. When you came along, I figured I could help you and solve my own problem at the same time.”
“Let me get this straight,” I said, still amazed. “You agreed to this whole thing because you’re trying to escape your family’s expectations, just like I am?”
Mary nodded. “Guess that’s one thing we have in common.”
A young man talking to a woman at an event | Source: Midjourney
I stared at her, realizing for the first time how much I didn’t know about her. This wasn’t some naive “country girl” here to make my parents uncomfortable. She was intelligent, strong, and just as independent as I was. Maybe more.
My original plan suddenly felt childish. While I’d been playing games to annoy my parents, Mary had been quietly navigating a world she didn’t want to be part of, giving up her family’s wealth and influence to stand on her own two feet. She’d agreed to my ridiculous scheme just to win her freedom. I couldn’t help but respect her for that.
One evening, as we were going over some plans for the charity events my mother insisted we attend, I caught myself watching her. She looked up, catching my gaze. “What?”
A couple in love | Source: Midjourney
“I just… I guess I didn’t realize how strong you were,” I admitted, feeling surprisingly nervous. “You put up with all this, and you never once complained. You’ve done more than I would’ve in your position.”
Mary smiled, a little softer than I’d ever seen. “I’m not doing it for them,” she replied. “I’m doing it for me.”
a smiling young woman writing in her journal | Source: Midjourney
And in that moment, I realized my feelings had shifted. What started as a plan to shock my parents had become something else entirely. I respected and admired her, and, yes, I wanted to be with her for real.
“Mary,” I said slowly, “maybe it’s time we told them the truth.”
A couple holding hands | Source: Pexels
She nodded, understanding exactly what I meant. We weren’t just playing a game anymore.
The next day, we asked our parents to sit down with us. As we prepared to reveal everything, I felt a strange calm. I wasn’t worried about what they’d say. I just knew that, for once, I was ready to do things honestly and with Mary by my side.
A happy couple | Source: Pexels
Liked this story? Consider checking out this one: When a wealthy, emotionally distant man offers shelter to Lexi, a homeless woman, he’s drawn to her resilience. Their unlikely bond begins to grow — until the day he walks into his garage unannounced and discovers something disturbing. Who is Lexi really, and what is she hiding?
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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